The tech world is completely aghast at the price of the gold Apple Watch Edition, which starts at $10,000 but is more likely to set buyers back $17,000 (plus tax!).

The pricing is baking everyone’s noodles. We can’t wrap our heads around a super-expensive watch that will soon be obsolete and is functionally identical to a $350 model. This is not how tech works.

But that’s the point. I wrote how the high-end Apple Watch winds me up — I argued that its very existence is antithetical to Apple’s democratic values. But after further research, it’s obvious that Apple knows exactly what it’s doing, and it’s very smart — even if I still don’t like the gold watch’s enormous price tag.

The Apple Watch Edition is a classic Veblen product. The outrageous price is the whole point. And the higher it gets, the more of them Apple will sell. It might even be priced too low.

I haven’t been to a mall in ages, except to go to an Apple Store. Turns out I’m not alone. Apple Stores have replaced the department stores of yore as the main driver of mall traffic.

If you’re an Apple shareholder who wants the company to buy Tesla, you are not alone. At the iPhone maker’s annual shareholder meeting in Cupertino yesterday, Tim Cook dodged not one, but two questions about whether Apple has plans to buy the electric car company.

While Apple is the ultimate example of a corporation that refuses to comment on rumors or speculation, Cook could have given a flat-out “no” and that would have been the end of it.

Instead, the Apple CEO danced around the question like he had a secret to hide.

A new report for Reuters says that app makers are struggling to come up with the kind of “killer app” that will be a winner for the Apple Watch in the way that Instagram or, more recently, Snapchat was for the iPhone. The report notes that Apple has blocked certain features of the Apple Watch, including its gyroscope and accelerometer, on the initial WatchKit developers’ kit, but won’t reveal exactly why this has been done.

Other aspects of the Apple Watch third-party developers can now yet tap into include the ability to wake up companion iOS apps, using the Taptic Engine, heart rate tracking, Force Touch, and a variety of other innovations.

“The limitations are discouraging,” one engineer, developing a Watch app to control a Tesla Model S, is quoted as saying.

Samsung’s smartphone sales may have taken a plunge as of late, but its new Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge handsets could turn out to be just the devices the South Korean tech giant needs to rebuild its mobile division.

Following strong advance orders of more than 20 million handsets, Samsung is reportedly expected to ship 46 million S6 units this year — representing an increase of 8 million on the previous 38 million estimate.

Those may not be close to iPhone 6 numbers (which sold 74.5 million devices in the last quarter of 2014 alone), but it’s certainly enough to earn Samsung back some of the respect its lost.

The Apple Watch’s Force Touch technology and rose gold finish might not stay exclusive to the smartwatch for long.

A new report from The Wall Street Journal says that when the iPhone 6s and iPhone 6s Plus come around, they’ll have Force Touch screens, and come in pink gold.

Nerds and regular folks across the globe paused yesterday while Tim Cook unveiled Apple’s newest products. While everyone else was busying talking about the Apple Watch and new MacBook, your favorite brands were trying to get in on the buzz with a tweetstorm of puns and jokes.

Makers of everything from Twinkies to Miller Lite were ready to go viral with their witty tweets. Most fell flat, but there were a couple clever ones mixed in with the noise.

Here are the hottest Apple Watch-related tweets from social media marketers looking to cash in on Apple’s cachet:

Actress Anna Kendrick can probably afford a $10,000 gold watch, but that didn’t stop her from taking a bite out of Apple after it flexed its wrist-computing power Monday.

Known for her brutal Twitter truths, Kendrick offered a sour evaluation of the high-end Apple Watch, which is made of 18-karat gold and comes with a matching luxury price tag.

“We should be thanking Apple for launching the $10,000 ‘apple watch’ as the new gold standard in douchebag detection,” wrote Kendrick.

The internet is up in arms about the price of the higher-end Apple Watch models, with a grand level of snark and wit in the various Twitter rants and reaction pieces. The aggro response will most likely fade away, but if there were an equally large group of apologists, the resulting flame war might become a larger-than-life conflagration.

If you’ve ever wondered why some internet arguments go large, this video may have the answer. It turns out that the best way to get the attention of the internet is to get angry. Or, rather, angry reactions can almost guarantee the potential of an argument to go viral.

Because of Apple Watch, Jony Ive thinks Swiss watch makers are screwed. Even Swatch’s inventor agrees. But Switzerland’s top athlete isn’t sold quite yet.

When asked whether he think athletes will embrace Apple’s wearable, 17-time Grand Slam champion Roger Federer said he’s interested to check out Apple Watch, but he doesn’t use “those type of things” and doubts “it’s going to have a big impact on the Swiss watch industry.”

“I don’t quite understand how much you need to know about all of these little things—about how much energy you burn, about how much spin you put on the ball,” Federer told CNBC. “I think it might be interesting to some people, but at the end of the day I believe in hard work.”

Watch the full interview below:

Apple has one of the most iconic logos in pop culture. Go into any coffee shop and you’ll be assaulted by an array of glowing MacBook lids and shiny iPhone screens, but it turns out that drawing the Apple logo from memory is shockingly hard.

A new study conducted by UCLA researchers found only one out of 85 undergraduate students could accurately draw the iconic logo from memory. If you’re think maybe they just weren’t familiar with the Apple logo, you haven’t been to a college campus in a while.

The difficulty of drawing Apple’s ubiquitous logo actually tells us something about human memory and how we form a ‘gist memory’ of objects and symbols we become too familiar with.

Swatch may be just a couple of months from launching its own Apple Watch rival, but the 61-year old co-creator of the low cost Swatch wristwatch, Elmar Mock, isn’t being shy about describing the havoc he thinks Apple’s debut wearable device is going to wreak on the watch industry.

“Apple will succeed quickly,” Mock told Bloomberg. “It will put a lot of pressure on the traditional watch industry and jobs in Switzerland.”

Although other brands are now starting to investigate the possibilities of smartwatches, Mock thinks people are still selling the Apple Watch short, saying that the Apple Watch is going to bring about an “Ice Age” for makers of mid-priced Swiss watches when it ships in April.

Google’s gorgeous redesign of the Calendar app has finally made its way to iPhone. The Android version of Google Calendar’s redesign was released last fall, but iPhone users can now get their fingers on the official Google Calendar app too.

Like on the new Android version, you get new features like Events from Gmail, to turn emails into events on your calendar. Assists makes adding events quicker by recommending information to insert, and the new Schedule View makes it easier to scan your calendar and see what events you have coming up.

Take a tour of the new app below:

The new MacBook is one of the most impressive pieces of technology Apple has unleashed in five years. It boasts a Retina display, USB-C, butterfly-hinged keyboard, Force Touch trackpad and terraced batteries. All crammed inside a body that’s smaller than the MacBook Air, made possible by a new fanless processor.

Despite being an unapologetically gorgeous piece of hardware, the new MacBook’s biggest weapon — the fanless processor — is also its greatest weakness.

Apple has placed the new MacBook in a category most people shouldn’t even consider buying, and that’s OK. The new MacBook isn’t for you and me, it’s for the future.

One of the highlights of any Apple keynote is that it inevitably means another catchy jingle from YouTube songsmith and longtime Mac-fan, Jonathan Mann: a musician whose Apple-centric songs once made even Steve Jobs dance.

Frankly, it’s amazing that nothing short of amazing that Mann is able to create such entire songs, complete with music videos, so quickly after an Apple keynote is off the air, but somehow he does. Choosing a smooth jazz-synth sound and the vaguely-inappropriate title “It’s Not Just With You, It’s In You… I Mean On You,” Mann lovingly lampoons Apple’s “most personal device” with an earworm that, all things being equal, should tide you over until WWDC.

Check out the music video (and its lyrics) after the jump. You might even want to sing along…

Apple will consume 18 percent of global sapphire ingot output making the displays for the Apple Watch, according to a new report coming out of China’s supply chain. This adds up to a whopping 30.8 million millimetres of two-inch (diameter) sapphire ingots in total.

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Betabrand designers don’t want to dress us in crap. But they will happily cover us in Poo emojis.

The San Francisco-based crowd-funded clothing company known for innovative blends of comfort, clever, cool and humor – consider the Photobomber hoodie or Shiny Silver disco leggings – seem to have piles of material with a poo emoji pattern.

First, Betabrand produced a Chuck Taylor-inspired high-top sneaker, then a men’s short-sleeve button-up shirt that left the company flush with orders. Now, a sleek pocket dress sprinkled with the bright-eyed, smiling coil of fun is available.

Shortly before Apple kicked off its Spring Forward event yesterday, Google released its latest Android Wear ad, which showcases the one thing you won’t get with the upcoming Apple Watch: choice.

Assume, for a moment, you’ve always been an Android guy but yesterday’s spintastic Apple Watch presentation sent you over the edge.

Now you’re a freshly minted Apple fanboy with money to burn, and you want to go from zero to full-on Apple hero. How much is it going to set you back if you’re ready to go all in with the latest, greatest gear Cupertino has to offer?

We’ve seen a lot of iPhone 6 torture tests in our day. But this guy dropping his iPhone 6 in a lava lamp has to be the grooviest.

The CIA has been been involved in a multi-year effort to crack iOS security, according to new information provided to The Intercept by whistleblower Edward Snowden. The attempts have been the focal point of multiple yearly CIA conferences called “The Jamboree.”

Among the possible solutions proposed include a means of “whacking” Xcode, the software used to create apps for iOS and Macs. Researchers claimed they had discovered a means by which Xcode could be manipulated to allow devices to be infected, so as to allow for the extraction of private data — thereby creating a “remote backdoor” that would disable core security features and allow undetected access to Apple devices.

The Apple Watch is a watch in as much as the iPhone is a phone: It bears a resemblance to its titular device, but does so much more as well. That said, Apple’s focus on inviting fashion and watch journalists to yesterday’s “Spring Forward” keynote shows that Cupertino does view its new wearable device as an alternative to analog watches.

Now that we finally have a price tag for all the Apple Watch models, we can compare a few classic alternatives you could strap on your wrist instead. You won’t get the apps, or the ability to beam your heartbeat to a loved one, but if it’s a stylish status symbol you’re after, these are the timepieces the Apple Watch needs to beat.

Check out our picks to see if Jony Ive’s proclamation that Swiss watchmakers are “f*cked” is really true.

The people of St. Pauli in Hamburg, Germany are pissed off about being pissed on.

Declaring “Peeback Time,” an anti-public urination group has coated neighborhood walls with a special chemical that will return the stream back to anyone too lazy to find a bathroom.

St. Pauli draws throngs of visitors in the German port city because of bars, music clubs and a well-known red light district. The Beatles briefly called St. Pauli home before fame struck.

With so many Apple Watch configurations to choose from, making your preorder before Apple’s initial stock sells out next month could be difficult if you leave it until the last minute.

But you can choose and save your favorite Watch configuration now for instant preordering later through the Apple’s online store.