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Oasis Star Declares: “iPhones Are For $%@!s”

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(Photo by Chrissy Polcino, used with thanks under Creative Commons license.)

So here’s former Oasis megastar Noel Gallagher, quoted in The Mirror this weekend:

I just want a basic 1994 Nokia mobile. I can keep it in my back pocket and just do the basics with it – phone and text. What would I need a camera on it for? iPhones are for Cockneys and ****s. And they are far too big.

It’s not clear to us exactly which insult The Mirror decided to blank out with asterisks, but feel free to use your imagination on that.

Schools Expect iPads To Outnumber Computers In Next Five Years [Report]

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The superintendent behind the abandoned $1.3 billion school iPad deal should go to 'teacher jail,' says union.
The superintendent behind the abandoned $1.3 billion school iPad deal should go to 'teacher jail,' says union.

The days of students lugging around massive backpacks loaded with heavy textbooks are numbered. According to a new poll of educational IT directors, signs are strong that within the next five years, all U.S. schools could adopt tablets, many as a replacement for textbooks. The good news for Apple is that in education circles (as with most consumers) the only tablet worth considering is the iPad.

Slimmer, Faster MacBook Pro ‘Airs’ Are In Development For 2012 Release [Rumor]

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It’s been three years since the last major design refresh of the MacBook Pro, and we’ve been hearing whispers for almost a year that the next major update would see Apple’s professional line of laptops take on some of the characteristics of the MacBook Air line: slimmer profiles, ubiquitous SSDs, no optical drives.

If those updates sound swell to you, good news. Inside sources say Apple’s already working on the skinnier MacBook Pro, and the new LCD displays have already been developed.

OS X 10.8 Is Coming, Already In Testing At Apple!

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If you’d asked me to bet on it, I would have said that OS X 10.7 Lion would be the last iteration of the Big Cat family. After all, where else is there to go? All of OS X’s releases have been named after successively bigger cats, and with Lion, Apple finally reached the biggest cat of them all.

Apparently, though, Apple envisions at least one more version of OS X before retiring the Big Cat OS once and for all. MacRumors reports that Apple is already testing OS X 10.8 internally.

Any bets on what the next version of OS X will be called? There aren’t any bigger cats, at least not without dipping a toe into cryptozoology, which would be awesome. I still favor ‘Manticore.’

Possible Fix For iOS 5 And iPhone 4S Battery Life?

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I’ve been a bit quiet lately while considering the possible reasons why my new iPhone 4S has the worst battery life of any iPhone I’ve ever owned. Normally by now I would have written some battery troubleshooting tips to share with all of you. However, this time around the problem is anything but normal and the usual tips aren’t helping. So I’ve been quiet about this.

I cannot say the same thing about Apple’s discussion forums since the conversation about battery life there is reaching epic proportions and the conversation is rather loud.

It might be about to get a lot quieter with this tip, which seems to be working for me.

CoM Readers Spice Up Halloween With Apple Themed Costumes & Pumpkins [Gallery]

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The most wonderful time of the year isn’t Christmas, it’s Halloween. No other day on the calendar gives you an excuse to dress up like Han Solo and go out on the prowl in search of the sexiest version of Princess Leia you can find. A lot of our readers decided to celebrate Halloween with a tribute to their favorite computer company, so we asked our Twitter followers to tweet us pics their Apple inspired Halloween costumes and jack o’-lanterns.

If you have a picture of your Apple themed costume or jack o’ lantern and would like for us to include it in the gallery, tweet it over to us @cultofmac

Here are some of the best pictures from last night:

Siri Hacked To Run On The iPhone 4 And iPod touch 4G [Video]

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This could be fake, but it certainly looks real to us: iPhone hackers chpwn and Steve Troughton say they’ve gotten Siri working on the iPhone 4 and fourth-gen iPod touch, and they’ve got video to prove it. So it is possible. Sadly, though, both hackers say that whatever method they used for exploit is not for public release any time soon, so the rest of us poor suckers will just have to keep twiddling our thumbs.

Apple Purchases 3D Mapping Company C3 Technologies [Report]

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An example of C3 Technologies' 3D mapping
An example of C3 Technologies' 3D mapping

According to 9to5Mac, Apple has purchased its second 3D mapping company called C3 Technologies. Apple bought a company called Poly9 last summer that also specializes in 3D mapping technology.

Rumors have said for years that Apple is working to drastically improve its iOS Maps application with in-house features and improvements. The purchase of C3 Technologies suggests that Apple is working to bring revolutionary 3D technology and hi-quality image rendering to its Maps app on the iOS platform.

Play These Scary Games for Free at OnLive This Weekend

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For all those kids out there frenziedly ringing doorbells or knocking on doors till your knuckles hurt: If no one’s coming out to rain candy into your little plastic jack-o-lantern, they’re probably just taking advantage of OnLive’s Halloween weekend of temporarily free-to-play games and too busy to come to the door.

“Siri, Will You Marry Me?” This Is The Funniest Siri Video Yet [Humor]

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According to the iPhone 4S Siri Operating Manual, “Siri is a learning computer that adapts to your environment and personality, answering your requests as it identifies your wants and needs.”

But what happens when Siri makes an evolutionary leap in intelligence while you and your drunken buddies are goofing off with her? As this hysterical video from LaughPong makes clear, it can lead to a moment of extreme awkwardness.

Seriously, if there’s one Siri humor video you watch, watch this one. I think it’s the funniest Siri gag yet.

(Thanks, Brittany!)

Assassin’s Creed Is Coming To The iPhone And iPad

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Great news for iOS gamers: the Assassin’s Creed series is coming to iPhones and iPads. But expect a radical formula change when Assassin’s Creed: Recollection hits the App Store. Instead of freely exploring an ancient city in search of targets to assassinate, Assassin’s Creed: Recollection is a board game.

RIM: Buy 2 PlayBook Tablets, Get Another Free

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It’s never a good sign when you have to give your tablets away in order to compete with Apple’s iPad. A month after cutting consumer prices on its PlayBook, BlackBerry maker Research in Motion is telling businesses they’ll throw in a free tablet if they buy two of the devices. The only thing missing from this desperate plea for sales is the word “please.”

Get 10 Top-Selling Mac Apps for the Price of One with the Fall 2011 Mac SuperBundle [Deals]

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It’s been a long year. You deserve to treat yourself, and your Mac, to some beautiful new apps to make life easier. No one wants to spend $350 on an app shopping spree though, so we’re here to get you the hookup on 10 amazing apps while saving you a quantified butt-ton of money at the same time.

This week Cult of Mac Deals and StackSocial are bringing you ten apps to make your Mac driven life a thousand times better. We’ve scored you a deal to that saves 86% off the original price. 10 apps for $49 instead of the advertised $366?! This is the biggest deal we’ve had yet. Here’s a run down of the ten apps that are included in our Fall 2011 Mac SuperBundle.