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Siri might suffocate the southern drawl

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Siri Texas
King of the Hill's inscrutable Texan, Boomhauer, may not get a whole lot of use out of Siri.
Screenshot: Evan Killham/Cult of Mac

Misunderstandings and repeated requests are among the hurdles that everyone who uses Siri — or any digital assistant, for that matter — have to deal with to run things with their voice, but some groups have it even harder than others.

If I want to make the smartbulb in my bedroom lamp turn white, for example, Siri always interprets “Make the Bedroom white” as “Make the Bedroom light,” and I can’t even imagine why I would be saying that. I can say, “Make the Bedroom green” or any other color, and it will work. But in order to get that direct-sunlight jam happening, I have to be more specific, like, “Make the bedroom light white.” And that’s not the worst problem to have with miraculous future-tech, but it is kind of hard to say.

But it could be worse; I could belong to one of the groups that have difficulty having even the most basic of interactions with Siri. And their problems don’t stem the program’s occasional deafness but rather its inherent incompatibility with how they speak.

We’re talking about Texans, y’all.

Keep a no profile with online privacy device

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The tracking and profiling ends here.
The tracking and profiling ends here.
Photo: eBlocker

You played poker online a few times and didn’t tell anybody. You didn’t have to. The bank you hope will give you a mortgage just purchased your online profile from a data broker and now wonders whether your history of gambling makes you a risky borrower.

Tech entrepreneur Christian Bennefeld is betting people are beginning to want privacy when connected to their devices. His eBlocker Pro is a simple plug-in device that hides your IP address and stops all tracking activities.

Comedy and positivity fill new YouTube Red Originals

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PewDiePie takes on horror games in new YouTube Red reality series.
PewDiePie takes on horror games in new YouTube Red reality series.
Photo: YouTube

YouTube takes on the original content business with four new original series and movies from popular creators, including PewDiePie, Lily Singh (IISuperwomanII), Rooster Teeth and AwesomenessTV.

Called YouTube Red Originals, the new content is only available to subscribers. You can sign up for a free 30-day trial, though, or settle for short previews, if you’re not ready to take the plunge.

Retro video games combine to create clever (but crude) music video

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Best music video of the year.
Best music video of the year.
Photo: PUP/YouTube

Gamers who grew up in the 90’s may not have heard of the Canadian punk rock band PUP, but they will undoubtedly love the crews newest video for the song ‘DVP’ that combines some of the coolest retro games of the era into a lyric video that’s truly amazing.

Directed by Jeremy Schaulin-Rioux who has produced most of PUP’s other videos — which are also incredible — the new vid features everything from Earthworm Jim to Teenager Mutant Ninja Turtles while ratcheting up the angst.

See how many of your favorite games you can spot:

Qualcomm’s new Snapdragon chip still can’t beat last year’s iPhone

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qualcomms-new-snapdragon-chip-still-cant-beat-last-years-iphone-image-cultofandroidcomwp-contentuploads201602Apple-A9-png
There's a lot of magic in that A9 chip. Photo: Apple
There’s a lot of magic in that A9 chip. Photo: Apple

Many of this year’s high-end Androids will come with Qualcomm’s latest Snapdragon 820 processor. It’s up to twice as fast as the Snapdragon 810 that powered many of last year’s flagships — but it still can’t beat the iPhone 6s.

According to tests carried out on GFXBench, Apple’s A9 processor outperforms Qualcomm’s best alternative — despite slower clock speeds and fewer cores.

Tim Cook gets as many votes as Bobby Jindal in presidential primary

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Tim Cook
"Tim Cook" racks up some votes in New Hampshire's Republican primary.
Photo: Jim Merithew/Cult of Mac

If Tim Cook ever parts with Apple, his resume for becoming a politician is looking pretty strong.

Not only has Cook become one of the most prominent campaigners for human rights and environmentalism in corporate America, he also just scored some legit political cred by getting as many votes in the New Hampshire GOP primary as former 2016 presidential candidate Bobby Jindal … kind of.

Poor security leaves popular Mac apps open to attack

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MacBook Pro
Protect your Mac.
Photo: Apple

When it comes to your Mac apps, there’s reason to fear a so-called man in the middle.

A security engineer is reporting several apps vulnerable to malicious coding through Sparkle, the third-party software framework apps use to receive updates. Some of the apps identified include versions of Camtasia, VLC, uTorrent, Sketch and DuetDisplay.

Apple Pencil makes app designers stand up and shout

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iPad Pro and Apple Pencil keep designers happy and eraser dust-free.
iPad Pro and Apple Pencil keep designers happy and eraser dust-free.
Photo: Apple

The iPad Pro and Apple Pencil are making paper and pencil design workflow a thing of the past.

Amanda Somers, a user experience (UX) designer for mobile app developer Mindsea Development, writes on Medium about her newfound respect for the Apple Pencil and iPad Pro combination.

“We are confident in saying we are able to sit down with iPad Pro and Apple Pencil and create something just as good, if not better, than sketching traditionally using pencil and paper,” she writes.

Apple Music blasts onto Sonos speakers tomorrow

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Apple Music is about to stream on Sonos smart speakers.
Apple Music is about to stream on Sonos smart speakers.
Photo: Sonos

Apple Music becomes an official part of the Sonos ecosystem Wednesday after months of beta testing on the wireless speakers.

“The feedback from Apple Music members on Sonos during the beta period has been great,” said Eddy Cue, Apple’s senior vice president of internet software and services, in a press release. “Sonos plus Apple Music provides an amazing listening experience at home — and we’re excited to offer it to all Sonos customers starting tomorrow.”

Now is a great time to bet on Apple, says Goldman Sachs

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Apple store istanbul
Step right up and place your AAPL bets.
Photo: Apple

Stocks have been getting crushed all year, but according to Goldman Sachs, now is the perfect time to starting betting on Apple options.

Goldman Sachs’ options team has pointed out that Apple options prices are especially low right now compared to the the S&P 500, making it a great target for purchasing a ‘straddle’, which could score investors a big payday if Apple shares move higher or lower than currently expected.

Straddle options work by allowing investors to purchase a bullish and bearish option on a stock so that they make money off the volatility of shares. It’s an advanced investment for most traders to make and it’s not cheap, but Susquehanna’s Stacey Gilbert explains that it’s cheap relative to volatility expectations for the overall market.

Everything you need to know about iOS’ crippling ‘Error 53’

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Error 53 makes gold iPhone  worth s***.
The dreaded "Error 53" can turn an iPhone into a shiny brick.
Photo: Jim Merithew/Cult of Mac

Apple is in the midst of an all-new controversy, thanks to the mysterious “Error 53” message that is bricking iPhones without warning.

The problem can hit DIY types or anybody who has ever had a Touch ID sensor (or other iPhone hardware) replaced by a repair shop not authorized by Apple. When they update iOS, the device locks down, displaying the cryptic Error 53 message and rendering the iPhone virtually worthless.

Apple says Error 53 is actually a security feature of iOS 9 that keeps your personal information secure, but customers aren’t convinced. Cult of Mac talked to iPhone repair and and parts experts to find out what exactly is going on. The truth is that Error 53 has plagued many iPhone owners, not just those who have replaced Touch ID — and it’s not totally clear why.

With a little puck, you won’t miss 3.5mm jack on iPhone

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If you need a place to plug in . . .
If you need a place to plug in . . .
Photo: Sean Nelson

Your next iPhone probably won’t have a headphone jack, and Sean Nelson is telling you to get over it. But he says so gently by offering iPhone fans a glimpse of what a jackless future might look like.

The industrial design student has drawn up one way Apple or any other third-party company might bridge the 3.5mm gap with a small Bluetooth headphone puck. Under Nelson’s concept, our soon-to-be-outdated headphones would plug into a small, clip-on disk.

Apple loses big at the Crunchies

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Apple didn't get any of these weird statuettes this year.
Apple didn't get any of these weird statuettes this year.
Photo: TechCrunch

Apple was nominated for three “Crunchies,” TechCrunch’s annual award event for the best in technology. The technology giant lost all three.

Apple’s 3D Touch, the Apple Pencil, and CEO Tim Cook were all put forth as the Best Technology Achievement, Best Hardware, and CEO of the Year, respectively.

None of them won a Crunchie, losing out to SpaceX Falcon 9, Samsung Gear VR, and Mark Zuckerberg.

Of course, having 3D Touch in the same category as a spaceship really shows what an uneven, weird thing the Crunchies are.

Firewatch could be the prettiest mystery you play this year

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firewatch-could-be-the-prettiest-mystery-you-play-this-year-image-cultofandroidcomwp-contentuploads201602Firewatch-png
Firewatch is already raising the bar for 2016. Photo: Campo Santo
Firewatch is already raising the bar for 2016. Photo: Campo Santo

If you’ve forgotten why it’s great to be a gamer, you just have to take one look at Firewatch.

The first-person mystery set in the Wyoming wilderness is a visual masterpiece that’s being praised by just about everyone — and you can get it today on Mac, PC, Linux, and PlayStation 4.

Hackers try to bribe Apple employees for login info

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Apple employees can make thousands selling their login info.
Apple employees can make thousands selling their login info.
Photo: Apple

Apple employees are being assaulted with offers from hackers to give them login details to Apple’s internal servers, and they’re willing to pay a king’s ransom if you’ve got the right info.

In Ireland, employees have received offers of over $20,000 for their Apple ID login, but it appears that Apple is well aware of the problem and has launched a new program to combat the problem.

Android creator will offer free dashcams in exchange for drive data

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Andy Rubin
Andy Rubin allegedly dated a colleague at Google.
Photo: Google
Andy Rubin wants more eyes on the road. Photo: Google
Andy Rubin wants more eyes on the road. Photo: Google

Andy Rubin, who co-founded Android before leaving Google in 2014, is building dashboard cameras that he wants to give away for free. But in exchange for an extra eye on the road, Rubin wants you to give up all the data your dashcam collects.

Apple could face class-action lawsuit over ‘Error 53’

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touchid
Unauthorized repairs could brick your iPhone.
Photo: Apple

A U.S. law firm is considering filing a class-action lawsuit against Apple for the “Error 53” security measure that permanently disables iPhones that have been fixed by unauthorized repair shops instead of Apple’s Genius Bar.

Controversy surrounding the Error 53 message erupted last week after it was found that repairs involving Touch ID can potentially brick iPhones without any warning. Apple insists Error 53 is a feature of iOS, but many have pointed out that the company appears to be using it as a tool to keep iPhone users from getting their devices repaired by anyone but Apple Stores.

Putin’s Internet czar wants more taxes from Apple

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German Klimenko wants Apple and other U.S. tech companies to pay more taxes.
German Klimenko wants Apple and other U.S. tech companies to pay more taxes.
Photo: iPhones.ru

Russia’s new internet czar loves his Apple devices. Google the name German Klimenko and up pops a series of pictures, many of him either at a MacBook or using an iPhone.

But that doesn’t stop the tough-talking, Cold War-minded Klimenko from wanting to suck more tax-generated revenue out of Cupertino and other American technology companies.

iPad magician celebrates Year of the Monkey by annoying chimps

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Ipad magic chimps
I've heard of chimps eating people's faces for less than this.
Photo: Simon Pierro

Simon Pierro, the “iPad magician,” thought he should find an appropriate way to ring in the Chinese New Year. And it’s the Year of the Monkey, so the obvious call was to perform his feats of tech-assisted illusion for a bunch of increasingly aggravated chimpanzees, even though they aren’t actually monkeys?

Alright, so they don’t really get that mad, considering Pierro has the intelligence and sense of self-preservation to actually give them some peanuts after cruelly magic-ing them away. But the tension is real.

Check out the full video below.

The force is strong with Rick Rubin’s Star Wars EDM album

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Rick Rubin and Star Wars collide to make this new electronica album.
Rick Rubin and Star Wars collide to make this new electronica album.
Photo: Hollywood Records

Looking for a way to express your love for both the greatest sci-fi movies of all time as well as your penchant for electronic dance music (EDM)?

Hollywood Records, American Recordings, and legendary producer Rick Rubin have got you covered with a new official album, Star Wars Headspace, a compilation of original EDM tracks that have various Star Wars sounds and effects within them.

Sounds hot, right? You can preview three of the tracks thanks to Beats 1’s Zane Low, below.