Mr T is now 60. Let me repeat that for you, fellow children of the 1970s and 1980s: Mr T is 60 years old.
He could have left all that “I pity the fool” and “I ain’t getting on no plane” stuff behind him many, many years ago. But why let a good catchphrase go to waste? Especially when there’s a whole App Store’s worth of money to made from it.
Hands up if you remember Dial-a-song. You don’t? Man, those were the good days. Even if you don’t remember them, now’s the time to re-live them on your iPhone. Like it’s an old phone. A dial-a-song phone.
Meet Carrot, the getting things done app with an attitude. If you’re good and you actually do the things you add to its list, you’ll be rewarded. But if you don’t … actually, things get much more fun if you don’t.
I didn’t expect Card Now to actually make me laugh, but it did. The idea of a business card-conjuring trick app made me shiver with horror – why would I inflict such a thing on other people?
But the reality, when I tried it out, was hilarious. When I “magically” pulled a freshly-printed business card off of my phone’s screen and into the real world, people’s reactions were delightful. I ended up laughing out loud.
Readers of a … certain age. Will remember. The way William … Shatner. Used to talk. On Star Trek. Few of you will have … wished to make poetry that sounds. Like. That. On your iPhones. But now … you. Can. My God, Bones. My God.
Sir Jonathan Ive, Apple’s Senior Vice President of Design, is much like Apple’s products: at best, he only comes in two colors. Even though he has been used in promotional videos for eight new Apple products in just the past three years, he has only ever worn two shirts through all of them.
Luckily, he’s Lon Chaney-like in regards to the number of expressions he can put on his face. Unfortunately, not all of them are what we would call strictly dignified.
If the thought that you still own an iPhone 4 or 4S makes feel you all Sad Face, cheer up: there’s a low-budget way to upgrade your device to modern iPhone 5 dimensions. What it lacks in technical functionality, it more than makes up for with practicality, price and Make style. It’s called iFaux, and you can download it for free.
Matt Rimney’s campaign has released an official photo app with a text template that reads “A Better Amercia.” Ooops.
The app comes with a bunch of text overlays (the others, you’ll be pleased to hear, with correct spellings throughout) that you can add to photos of – well, anything you consider suitably Republican and Presidential. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
It’s not even a very good app. The image you line up in your viewfinder gets shifted down considerably when the overlay is applied, so don’t bother with careful composition.
Readers, your desperate wish to have Monty Python in your pocket everywhere you go has finally – finally – been granted. With Python Bytes on your iOS device, you need never be far from a quick spurt of Pythonism whenever you feel the need for it.
So whether you must hear the Parrot Sketch while waiting for the bus, or would like to pass the time in dull corporate meetings by watching Michael Palin do the Lumberjack Song, or simply enjoy seeing John Cleese in a pink bra; whatever the circumstances, this is the app for you. Possibly.