Apple turned what could have been a deathly boring financial ritual into an occasion for celebration Wednesday, posting record numbers and making headlines with some unexpected moves.

Here’s our take on everything you need to know from the latest quarterly earnings call.

Apple’s latest iPhone 5s ad debuted during last night’s Agents of SHIELD on ABC, and it’s a bit of a mixed bag.

Built around the idea that “You’re more powerful than you think,” the ad shows the iPhone being used to as a tool by people in various lines of work. In this way, it’s very reminiscent of Apple’s recent “Your Verse” campaign for the iPad.

But while it’s good aspirational fare — with absolutely nothing offensive about it — it also comes across as, well, kind of boring really.

Apple has released security patches to fix the Heartbleed bug on AirPort base stations, and SSL-based security updates for Apple TVs and Macs.

You should probably go and update all of them as soon as possible.

Apple has aired a new ad for the iPhone 5s titled “Powerful.” It’s the first TV spot dedicated solely to the 5s since “Metal Mastered” last fall.

This new ad showcases the iPhone helping with creative tasks live music. The song is “Gigantic” by the Pixies, a hit song from the 90s.

HBO’s new comedy Silicon Valley has been the toast of TV the past two weeks with its irreverent satirization of life inside the exorbitant tech startup scene.

Not everyone in the valley is a fan of the show with its Square-toting strippers, amped-up nerd stereotypes and creepy angel investors, but we’ve been mesmerized each week with the main title sequence, which showcases the rise and fall of some Silicon Valley’s most heralded companies.

Apple’s headquarters actually pops up twice — but don’t blink or you’ll miss it.

Watch the full sequence below and see if you can spot it:

Technology group Kudelski has become the latest company to file a patent lawsuit against Apple.

Kudelski’s OpenTV and Nagravision subsidiaries are claiming that Apple is infringing on five of its U.S. patents in pretty much every product under the sun — including iOS devices, Apple TV, the App Store, iTunes, iADS, Safari, and Macs running OS X.

When you’ve got $158.8 billion in the bank, there’s not a huge amount you need to be envious of.

But while Apple is beating rival Samsung on both the quality of its products and adverts, it is perhaps losing out when it comes to the kind of big digital media strategies that really attract attention (and customers) — like Ellen DeGeneres’ famous Oscars selfie which Publicis CEO Maurice Levy recently valued at between $800 million and $1 billion.

With that in mind, Apple is reportedly changing up its marketing approach to invest more in digital marketing and social media support — adding four new digital agencies to its roster.

Amazon’s Prime Instant Video service is on fire in the United States — and that growth happened before Amazon even introduced its $99 Fire TV set-top box.

According to a new report from online-video delivery and caching solutions provider Qwilt, streams on Prime Instant Video have almost tripled over the past year — and in the process have passed both Apple and Hulu in terms of volume of video streaming traffic. The data was gathered from MSO broadband providers that use the Qwilt systems.

Apple should buy Yahoo.

This is neither a new idea, nor one acceptable to the Apple fan base. But since people briefly talked about it last year, it’s become an increasingly good idea — maybe a necessary one for Apple’s continued growth and success — and I’m going to tell you why.

When Facebook snapped up virtual-reality company Oculus VR this week, it got us wondering what other interesting startups Apple might want to buy before Mark Zuckerberg can get his hands on them.

While Oculus is most well known for its Rift gaming headset, Zuckerberg sees a far more wide-ranging application for the company’s VR tech, envisioning it as a futuristic communications platform. “One day, we believe this kind of immersive, augmented reality will become a part of daily life for billions of people,” he said in his post about the acquisition.

That’s the kind of big thinking Steve Jobs brought to the table when he talked about the way the Mac, the iPod, the iPhone and the iPad would change the way people interact with technology. While Apple rarely dips into its $150 billion cash hoard to buy other hardware firms, here are seven awesome companies whose technology could help Cupertino enhance and improve its existing devices — as well as build entirely new ones.