Thanks to the Illumanati-like secrecy established by El Jobso, getting a real answer from anyone at Apple is as rare as a rainbow jellybean unicorn.

Even simple questions like “are other customers having this issue?” get averted, dodged and deflected ad nauseum, so six months ago we created the Ask A Genius Anything column to get some real answers for fans on what happens at Apple.

Unfortunately, our brave Genius is hanging up his Apple lanyard for a new career opportunities. Over the past six months he’s dished on everything from Apple policy, to how to fix hardware issues, while also dispensing tips on how to ask a Genius out and whether drinking on the job is a no-no.

We’re still looking for a new secret Genius to fill his shoes (if you’re interested, send us an email), but in the meantime, here are our five favorite answers from Cult of Mac’s Secret Genius #1:

Q: What are you *never* allowed to say to customers?

Employees are taught not to use certain words that might tarnish the image of the brand. We are constantly in a struggle to portray Apple as positively as possible so that our customers return to buy from us again.

Here’s an idea of some of guidance I received when going through training:

• Never say “crash,” instead say “quit unexpectedly.”
• Your iPhone isn’t “frozen,” it’s “unresponsive.”
• Your MacBook did not crash, it “powered off unexpectedly.”
• it’s not a “bug,” it’s a “software issue.”
• Never say “unfortunately,” use something to portray the situation in a better light like, “as it turns out…”
• Instead of saying the iPhone is “incompatible” with something we are supposed to say, “it does not work with…”

Q: Have you ever worked drunk?

The job can be pretty stressful sometimes. Occasionally, I’ll have a drink before work or on a lunch break. It’s not a bad way to relax and most of the managers at the store don’t care unless you’re always coming in sloppy drunk.

There are always a few situations throughout the day where it’d be great to take a short drink break after helping out a particularly horrible customer, but I don’t make it a habit. Fixing people’s iPhones really isn’t any easier after a few drinks, so there are few benefits to being hammered on the job. As for what happens after work, it isn’t uncommon for employees and managers to meet up and toss back a few.

Q: Can you date customers? Any tips on how to ask a Genius out?

Dating customers is against Apple policy. The policy protects both the employee as well as the customer. I have seen customers who come in consistently to get “help” from the same employee multiple times who are definitely interested, but this only makes the employee less likely to actually pursue something.

If you are love struck by your technician at the Genius Bar, I suggest the straightforward approach. Ask for a card and give them your number maybe or ask them if you can have their number. Don’t be surprised if they say they can’t contact you, but tell them to call you outside of work. Don’t let a little Apple policy keep you from your love connection, but don’t make them completely say no by coming on to someone while they are at work.

 Q: How much do you get paid, what hours do you work and how much continual study is required?

I get paid about $14 an hour. Pay ranges anywhere from $10-$20 an hour in the retail stores depending on position, hours, and performance. I work about 30 hours a week because I am part-time, usually on the shy side so I can keep my part-time status. My hours vary but they always fit my personal schedule because each employee submits their hours of availability and is scheduled accordingly, after approval.

As far as training goes, Apple actively trains its workforce. We are trained before we begin the job to deliver superior service and we are trained on new systems, products and software as they become available. If you are looking to advance, Apple will help train you to be ready for any future positions. I was surprised by the non-technical nature of training when I started at Apple. Most of the training I received was customer-service oriented and the technical training I needed for the job was either previous experience or was gained as I encountered issues and sought out a solution.

Q: What’s the most common lie you hear at the Genius Bar?

Geniuses and Family Room Specialists alike have to come up with a fair amount of excuses to explain to customers what’s wrong with their device. The worst excuse and the most commonly told lie at the Genius Bar is for known issues to be called “rare.”

I can’t stand it when a Genius tells a customer that a sleep/wake button failing on an iPhone is rare or that a battery needing service before being completely consumed is uncommon. I don’t know any statistics on failure rates, but I know I handle a fair number of these “rare” issues enough to say that they aren’t rare.

It’s a sort of white lie that reassures customers that the problem was a fluke and that they can trust in Apple’s products in the future. I think it’s better to explain common issues as known issues and just to provide the solution rather than lie about it. The lie gets harder to tell to a customer should the replacement product or repaired device have the same issue down the road.

Nobody hopes for a war or a natural disaster or an alien invasion from beyond the stars, but they like to know that if any of those things do happen their family will all be on the same page about where to go and what to do.

Emergency Plan hopes to do that by keeping meeting locations, contacts, and even basic medical information all in one place so nobody has to dig or guess about anything while they’re running in a zigzag fashion down Main Street to throw off the cybertanks’ laser-guided heat rays.

Or if there’s like a tornado or something. Either one.

Source:Emergency Plan – Free | Another Cup of Coffee

Primal Flame is one of those games that’s immediately impressive. Its brief loading screen at startup is gorgeous, and the title screen presents the obligatory social-networking links in its own cave-drawing aesthetic so that they fit in while still remaining recognizable.

But I’m not here just to talk about the title screen, luckily for you, and once you stop gawking at it and actually start Primal Flame up, it just keeps on being amazing.

You start with a black screen covered in specks with the sounds of a forest at night. Brighter lights start drifting down from the top, and you run your finger along the screen. Sparks fly and grow and burst into flame, and then you’re playing one of the most unique games I’ve ever seen.

While the “cloud” is becoming a more prominent way to work and store files, there are some tools that users still feel more comfortable keeping in their own toolbox as opposed to a shared one. Take the Adobe Crative Suite, for example. With Adobe Creative Cloud stepping into the spotlight, the way of the future is undeniable. But that doesn’t mean designers (or budding creatives) have to ditch their Adobe CS6 just yet. In fact, now might just be the best time to take your CS6 skills to new heights.

That’s where The Adobe CS6 Training Bundle comes in. Right now you can get this comprehnsive training program for only $99 – that’s 88% off – from Cult of Mac Deals.

Quick Look is a fantastic bit of tech, letting you view any file up close and personal with a quick tap on the Spacebar. It works in the Finder, in Open and Save dialogs, and across a ton of other apps like iPhoto.

It’s basically the best new thing ever.

There are times, though, that I forget I’m previewing a file with Quick Look and I head up to the text in a document to copy and paste it elsewhere, only to be rebuffed. You just can’t do this.

Unless, of course, you enable this feature using Terminal.

The Galaxy S5’s fingerprint scanner may be coming more than 7 months later than the iPhone’s, but it’s already going to be more useful to users. Not only will it allow them to unlock their device at the touch of a button, but Samsung’s going to allow third-party developers to integrate fingerprint scanning into their own applications, too.

Clear, the popular to-do list management tool for iOS from Realmac Software, is now free for the next 24 hours.

The promotion is designed to give those who purchased the now defunct Clear+ the opportunity to migrate to the original app without having to pay again — but those who have never purchased Clear can take advantage of the offer, too.

Today, Apple designer Jony Ive turns 47. One of the threads of his incredible career has been a passion for hot wheels. Before going on to become one of the world’s most famous designers, Jony Ive went to London’s Central Saint Martins Art School fueled by an early passion to design cars. Eventually, though, he took a detour that led him to revolutionize design in personal technology.

Apple hasn’t gotten around to making an iCar yet, but Jony’s passion for automobiles is still revved up and cruising for thrills. The famed designer hasn’t been afraid to fork over some fat stacks for a nice car on a whim – even if one of his brutal beauties almost cost him his life – and has gathered a nice little collection of luxury cars over the years.

Here’s a look at some of the fabulous cars that have puttered their way into Jony’s garage, with insider information about each one pulled from the pages of Leander Kahney’s new book, “Jony Ive: The Genius Behind Apple’s Greatest Products.”

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Legal practice management software company Clio has just released the latest results of a survey it calls “Apple In Law Offices,” detailing the use of Apple devices in law firms across North America.

The 2013 survey marked a considerable increase in Apple adoption — with a 10% leap in both office Mac OS usage (from 56% in 2012 to 66% last year), and iPad usage (from 57% to 67%), while iPhone usage spiked 12% to 74% (while Android and Blackberry both saw decreases in law firm usage compared to global adoption rates).

The new light-based physics puzzle game from developers Playmous sure looks interesting!

Called God of Light, the game features 3 different game worlds, and 75 dozens of mind-expanding, puzzle-filled levels. Your mission is to join game mascot, Shiny, to save the universe from impending darkness — which means seeking out game objects that reflect, split, combine, paint, bend and teleport rays of light energy to activate the mythical “Sources of Life.”

If that sounds all a bit confusing, the above video may help shed some light (pun intended!) on what we’re talking about.

Nearly one third of all games released in the App Store in a 24-hour period are Flappy Bird clones.

That’s according to the Guardian newspaper’s Stuart Dredge, who used an RSS feed of the Appshopper site to get his hands on a list of every game released in the 24-hour period, ending 5am on February 27.

Of the 293 new iOS games, he discovered that 95 (just over 32%) were clones of the recently deceased Flappy Bird.

At this year’s Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, Spain, the themes were – as we expected – waterproof phones, smart-watches and NFC (again). Samsung’s new Galaxy S5 was a high-profile example of the waterproof trend, and the company also showed its new Galaxy Gear watch, which looks pretty neat for a giant wrist-screen. And NFC is in every Android handset these days.

But how do these themes relate to the iPhone and iPad? Let’s think about that.

Apple may have only released iOS 7.0.6 one week ago, but it’s already showing impressive adoption rates.

According to a study by Chitika Insights, just 48 hours after the update went live, 13.3% of all iOS traffic was driven by the latest update.

You can now double the storage space of your MacBook Air by jamming Sandisk’s new 128GB microSD card into an adapter in the SD card slot. Or you can slide it into any number of devices that use the pink-nail-sized storage standard. And if you are using it in a phone or a camera, it’s fast enough to capture HD video recorded straight to the card.

A South Korean antitrust watchdog has rejected Apple’s claims that Samsung’s counter-patent suit against the U.S. firm violates the country’s fair competition rules.

Apple lawyers claimed that Samsung’s litigation concerning its SEPs (standard-essential patents) for 3G wireless technology was an act designed to abuse its dominant position in the marketplace — amounting to a violation of fair competition rules.

Fujifilm has announced the Instax SP–1 mobile printer at Mobile World Congress 2014 in Barcelona, Spain. It’s a wireless, battery powered number that spits out 3×2 prints, and is controlled by an app on your iPhone (or Android device).

And while it looks pretty neat, if you can do without the battery power then I have a much better recommendation.

One of several themes at this year’s Mobile World Congress in Barcelona has been cellphone cameras (the others were waterproof phones, crappy smartwatches, and NFC). Samsung’s new flagship Galaxy S5 ups the pixel count from 13MP 16MP, and adds 4K video capture. Nokia’s handsets can now shoot RAW pictures (or rather, record RAW pictures, as all photos are RAW to begin with) and Sony was showing off new camera modules (the iPhone uses a Sony camera).

As I was walking around the show and shooting everything with my iPhone 5, I started to wonder: who cares?

The NBA Game Time app for iPhone and NBA Game Time for iPad have just been updated, adding support for classic games.

As its name suggests, Endless Surf is pretty much an endless runner with a whole lot more water involved. If you’re looking for a true to life surfing sim, complete with realistic board dynamics and the like, you’re going to be disappointed. But if you can look past that, Endless Surf is a giant wave of fun.

Although Google bought social mapping service Waze in June of last year, the iOS app is still getting impressive new updates.

The latest? Waze for iOS has just gained Calendar integration. It might not seem useful at first glance, but it’s actually a great addition.

When will the iPhone 6 be released? Ever since the iPhone 4s, Apple has unveiled the next iPhone in September, but at least one analyst is now claiming that Apple might go back to a WWDC launch in 2014.

If you have a brand spanking new Mac Pro, Apple has released a new firmware update that will help it stay quiet and not sound like the jet engine that it may physically resemble.

Recommended for all late 2013 Mac Pros, the Mac Pro SMC Firmware Update 2.0 allows the Mac Pro to enter Power Nap without running the Mac Pro’s fan for most Power Nap activities.

The update also addresses a rare issue where a low-speed USB device may not be detected at boot.

If you’ve already dropped a few grand on a Mac Pro, the good news is the update’s free. You can grab it from the link below.

Source: Apple

Here’s a hard to believe story: one of Apple’s executives behind the original iPhone has gone so far as to apologize to anyone who bought one during Mobile World Congress in Barcelona this week.

Why? According to ex-Apple senior director of product marketing for the original iPhone Bob Borchers: “If you had the original iPhone, I apologize; it was not a great phone, it was an OK phone.”

Unbelievably, he may have a point.

Automatic is one of our favorite iOS car accessories and while we’ve been blown away how easily it can future-proof your dumb car, the smart dongle just got a lot more intelligent thanks to an update that brings IFTTT integration into the car for the first time.

Automatic can already track your trips and tell you where you parked, but with IFTTT recipes you can now let your car Tweet, post to Facebook, or send an email to your mechanic based on a set of triggers Automatic has created.

The new Automatic Channel on IFTTT exposes some powerful triggers, including the following:

It’s hard to admit, but I know more about decluttering my closet than I do my computer. The last time I took my MacBook Pro to the Apple Store, I was humbled by the Genius who stumbled upon the virtual equivalent of an overstuffed, rat-infested garage.

It was like something out of one of those hoarding reality shows that I’m fond of because they confer a zen-like simplicity to my messy but-not-enough-to-die-buried-alive-under-belongings: there was a ton of dusty, useless, embarrassing crap clogging up my machine. With one raised eyebrow, he made me feel like a basket case for piles of applications that would never run on my current OS (and they were in the dock, too. The shame!) and a desktop so cluttered with screen shots, empty alias folders and .txt files that my actual desk looks pristine in comparison.

Enter Mac RX, Spring Cleaning Edition to the rescue. Cult of Mac readers know our long-running series on how to fix what ails your Apple device; this week we get a special decluttering take from our vintage expert and Apple Certified Consultant, Adam Rosen.

He’ll tell you what you really need to know about getting better performance from your Mac and why the machine gets clogged up in the first place. Hint: most of us don’t follow the basic tidying procedures we should.

So it’s time for a clean-up session: we’ll get you in, out and have your Mac running faster than it has in months. We stopped just short of Feng Shui for your desktop, but I have an expert for that if you’re interested.