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Bendgate Day 3: Best bendy iPhone 6 jokes to ease your pain

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kneelbeforeZOD

We are three days into the Bendgate controversy, and while Apple says they’re seriously investigating why iPhone 6 Pluses are bending in users’ pockets, the company’s competitors and other brands are piling onto the controversy with a steady stream of bending jokes for the social media masses.

Everyone from Coca-Cola to Whattaburger are joining Samsung, LG, and Nokia in making fun of Apple’s flexible iPhone problem, and the results are absolutely hilarious.

Check out today’s funniest Bendgate brand jokes:

Hey, Apple! What happened to ‘It just works’?

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The iPhone 6s and iPhone 6s plus are coming on September 18th, according to German carriers.
A buggy iOS 8 update that killed cellular connections for iPhone 6 users is far more troubling than Apple's other recent missteps. Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac
Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac

“It just works.”

Those three words are synonymous with Apple. It’s the slogan Apple fanboys use when trying to convince their Android-loving friends that iOS is a better option. And it was used over and over by Steve Jobs as he unveiled new products at Apple keynotes.

That makes it even more embarrassing for the Cupertino company when things don’t “just work.” Especially when it royally screws things up — as it did with the hideously half-baked iOS 8.0.1 update that rolled out to millions of users Wednesday morning.

Microsoft borrows from Beats’ playbook in latest Surface Pro 3 ad

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nflsurfacead

Microsoft’s $400 million plan to flood the NFL with Surface tablets hasn’t caught on too well this season. The hardware fumbled out the gate during preseason and even coaches and players have admitted the tablets are too complex to figure out, so in its latest ad for the Surface Pro 3, Microsoft has taken a page out of Beats’ marketing playbook.

The ad feels more like an commercial for NFL Stars than a tablet promotion and it’s got all the elements that have made Beats’ cinematic ads great: Pre-game preparations, close ups of super-star athletes, touchdowns, and some heavy rock music.

Beats launched a similar ad for its Studio Wireless headphones, only instead of starring super-star cornerback Richard Sherman from the Seattle Seahawks, Microsoft’s ad features super-star quarterback Russell Wilson from the Seattle Seahawks.

Watch Microsoft’s NFL ad below and see how it compares:

Apple isn’t ignoring ‘Bendgate,’ will replace affected devices

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Is your iPhone 6 Plus still as straight as it was the day you got it? Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac
Is your iPhone 6 Plus still as straight as it was the day you got it? Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac

It turns out that things made out of thin pieces of aluminum will bend under enough force. Who’d have thought it? But fortunately for those who are experiencing the well-documented “Bendgate” issue with a new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, Apple is not ignoring the problem: The company will replace devices under warranty so long as they pass a visual inspection.

Apple was aware of iCloud security flaw 6 months before The Fappening

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Celebgate hack
Picture: Killian Bell
Illustration: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac

Apple was aware of the iCloud vulnerability which resulted in dozens of nude celebrity images being leaked earlier this month.

According to emails between Apple and noted security expert Ibrahim Balic, Cupertino was given information of a similar security flaw as early as March of this year. In an email from that month, Balic informed an Apple official that he had successfully bypassed the feature designed to stop a so-called “brute-force” attack taking place.

8 epic movie crossovers we’d love to see

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In the works since 1979, a JLA/Avengers crossover finally happened in 2003, bringing together the World’s Mightiest Heroes and DC’s Justice League of America. With the two franchises set to collide (sort of) when Avengers: Age of Ultron and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice finally make it to theaters, the idea of mashing up both series seems unthinkable at present.Looking longer-term, though, who wouldn’t want to Batman face off against Iron Man, or Superman with Captain America? The only losers would be the poor legal teams who had to work out the agreement for it to happen.Picture: DC Comics/Marvel Comics

In the works since 1979, a JLA/Avengers crossover finally happened in 2003, bringing together the World’s Mightiest Heroes and DC’s Justice League of America. With the two franchises set to collide (sort of) when Avengers: Age of Ultron and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice finally make it to theaters, the idea of mashing up both series seems unthinkable at present.

Looking longer-term, though, who wouldn’t want to Batman face off against Iron Man, or Superman with Captain America? The only losers would be the poor legal teams who had to work out the agreement for it to happen.

Picture: DC Comics/Marvel Comics


Top Apple execs sell $143 million worth of stock

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Tim Cook, Phil Schiller and others sold Apple stock at a time when it was hitting record highs.
Tim Cook, Phil Schiller and others sold Apple stock at a time when it was hitting record highs.

Five top Apple execs — including Tim Cook and Phil Schiller — unloaded $143 million AAPL shares as part of a 10b5-1 planned sale, according to a new report from Barron’s.

Cook sold 348,425 Apple shares for $35,250,297, while Schiller dropped 348,846 shares for $35,256,000.

Other Apple higher-ups who did the same include CFO Luca Maestri, who sold his entire direct holdings for $1,631,286; Jeffrey E. Williams, senior vice president of operations, who raked in $35,233,446; and Bruce D. Sewell, general counsel and senior vice president of legal and government affairs, who made $35,393,915 on the deal.

How Cupertino’s rivals plan to survive the Apple Watch

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How does a wearables company survive being Sherlocked? Jawbone has some ideas.
How does a wearables company survive being Sherlocked? Jawbone has some ideas.

In the business world, Apple entering your product category is a little bit like a tsunami crashing into a home aquarium. What had previously seemed like a nice, small and self-contained ecosystem suddenly runs the risk of being obliterated by a giant wave-maker.

When Tim Cook announced the Apple Watch at Apple’s recent media event, the crowd went wild. But exciting as it was for consumers, it represents a seismic shift for the currently $330 million wearable tech industry.

Devices that can serve up smartphone notifications, track fitness goals and even advise us on health matters have the potential to be huge — but they’re not yet. That’s about to change, according to Juniper Research, which forecasts that wearable devices like smartwatches could hit sales of $19 billion by 2018.

What happens to Apple’s marketplace rivals as this sea change takes place? Cult of Mac did some digging to find out how companies like Jawbone and Fitbit plan to survive Apple’s smartwatch revolution.

Apple Watch’s tiny sapphire screen costs $27 to produce

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Picture: Apple
Picture: Apple

Aside from the fact that it features a “flexible Retina display” and is capable of “reading” both soft and hard presses, Apple hasn’t let much out of the bag about the sapphire display for its eagerly-anticipated Apple Watch.

A new report from research firm NPD DisplaySearch has a bit more to say, however — including the price Apple is apparently paying for the sapphire laminate panels it’s using for its wearables debut.

Can’t forget about Dre: Beats deal makes the Dr. hip-hop’s richest

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There's no beating Dre when it comes to earnings among hip-hop artists.
There's no beating Dre when it comes to earnings among hip-hop artists.

G-funk might have made Dr. Dre famous, but Beats made him wealthy to the tune of $620 million in pre-tax earnings, according to Forbes‘ recently published “Hip-Hop Cash Kings” list, which officially named the former rapper/producer the richest person in rap this year.

Off the back of Apple’s $3 billion acquisition, Dre’s so rich, in fact, that his wealth outstrips the other 24 “Cash Kings” on the list put together — which includes names like Jay Z and P-Diddy, who each took home $60 million from a combination of music, live concerts and endorsements.

Video shows former NBA player’s Apple Store thefts and court appearance

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Former NBA player Rex Chapman has been charged with stealing $14,000 worth of goods from his local Apple Store.
Former NBA player Rex Chapman has been charged with stealing $14,000 worth of goods from his local Apple Store. Photo: Movdive

Late last week, former NBA player Rex Chapman was arrested by police in Scottsdale, Arizona, after being charged with theft and trafficking in stolen property as a result of stealing over $14,000 worth of equipment from his local Apple Store over the course of nine visits between May and early August.

As can be seen from the below security footage, Chapman picked up various items from the store, pretended to pay for them using Apple’s EasyPay app, before popping the goods into an Apple carrier bag, at which point he headed off to a local pawnshop to sell them:

Apple will fix iPhone 6 issues with iOS 8.0.2 in the ‘next few days’

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ios_update
iOS 8.0.1 broke more than it fixed for those with an iPhone 6. Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac

Apple has promised to roll out a new iOS 8 update in the “next few days” that will fix the issues plaguing iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus users who updated to iOS 8.0.1. In the meantime, users are being advised to downgrade to the initial iOS 8 release that came pre-installed on their devices.

Cortana bashes stupid ol’ Siri again in new Microsoft ads

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Cortana is here to bad mouth Siri again.
Cortana is here to bad mouth Siri again.

Microsoft has been having quite a bit of fun with Siri in its new Windows Phone ads. Reminiscent in feel of Apple’s old “Mac vs. PC” ads, the Cortana vs. Siri ad campaign shows Microsoft’s digital assistant having fun at the expense of slow, dumb ol’ Siri.

Not afraid to whip a dead horse, Cortana is now back in two news Windows Phone ads, showing just how much more she can do on Microsoft’s new Windows Phone-powered Nokia Lumia 635 than Siri can do on the iPhone.

iPhone 6 isn’t as bendy as Plus-sized sibling

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Apple wants people to stop bending its iPhones.
Apple wants people to stop bending its iPhones.

The YouTuber who set the world ablaze by bending the iPhone 6 Plus is back.

Lewis Hilsenteger of Unbox Therapy has a new video out in which he tries to bend the regular iPhone 6 like the Plus. Those who are actually worried about their iPhone’s bendability will be glad to see that the 6 holds its shape much better than its larger sibling. And you’d basically need some kind of power tool to bend the iPhone 5s.

Hilsenteger also tries bending some iPhone competitors, and the most durable smartphone might surprise you.

Blue Man Group’s iPhone 6 unboxing video is only one you need to see

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iphone6unboxing

iPhone 6 unboxing videos are a dime a dozen nowadays, expect when they come from the wildly wacky Blue Man Group.

The popular performing group released their own quirky take on the iPhone 6 unboxing video and it’s unlike any unboxing video we’ve ever seen. Rather than using traditional unboxing tools like fingers and or a knife, the blue dudes employ some saws, electric drills, and plenty of feathers.

Watch it below:

iPhone 6 Plus captures awesome power of Sierras (and PBR)

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Unapologetically stunning. Screengrab: Uncage the Soul/Vimeo
Unapologetically stunning. Screengrab: Uncage the Soul/Vimeo

Team “Uncage the Soul” spent three days in the eastern Sierra Nevada mountains, capturing some stunning moving images with their new iPhone 6 Plus.

While videographer Ben Casales found the iPhone 6 Plus to be an amazing bit of video technology, he’s not worried about his day job.

“Is the iPhone 6+ amazing? YES. Would I bring it to a job shooting for a client? No,” he writes on the video page. “It will shoot 240fps, but it degrades and is not what you’d want full size in a polished video. The in-camera stabilizer in the Instagram Hyperlapse app is AMAZING, but it exports final video in 720 not 1080. Timelapse looks great when the conditions are stable, but changing light has the phone struggling to smoothly change exposures following the light.”

Still, check out the amazing footage below and dream of all the things you can do with it when you’re out and about in a hipster ear-flap hat and drinking PBR. Just be prepared for the very twee pop song by Hugo Hans “Wildrunners.”

The Force meets tower defense in new Star Wars game mashup

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Picture courtesy DeNA
Picture courtesy DeNA

If the sheer volume of tower defense games on the App Store is any indication, people (and developers) love them. Defending your base against endless hordes of creeps is a wonderful way to spend some gaming time on your portable device; they’re not super twitch-dependent, and they definitely encourage the zen-like focus a lot of us enjoy when playing games.

Add a hot property like Star Wars to the mix, and you’ve got a game full of potential. Rebels and Stormtroopers in a tower defense game? Sign me up!

This is, however, a Mobage/DeNA free-to-play joint, so it’s hard to tell exactly whether it will be a compelling bit of playtime, or just another way to spam your friends with social media requests. The pre-release sign up allows you to earn some points to be used in-game already; this does not bode well, even with a Star Wars branding.

That said, I’m still pretty excited about playing this game. Check out the developer diary below to see if you’re just as excited.

How to downgrade from Apple’s buggy iOS 8.0.1 update

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iOS8

Apple just rolled out its first update for iOS 8 with a bunch of bug fixes to resolve problems with third-party keyboards, HealthKit, and other features, but what Apple failed mention is that the update also knocks out your cellular connectivity and breaks Touch ID.

If you haven’t updated already, WAIT! It seems that the bugs might be just affecting users of the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus but we’ve reached out to Apple for confirmation.

In the meantime, if you’ve already upgraded to iOS 8.0.1 and want your cellular service back, here’s how to manually restore your device to iOS 8.0.

BendGate: iPhone 6 ‘malleability’ problem is the Internet’s joke du jour

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iPhone6bendy

“Will it bend?” has become the hottest question in tech this week as some iPhone 6 owners have discovered that the laws of physics still apply to the aluminum frame of the new Apple phones … even when neglected in a back pocket.

We pointed out yesterday that any smartphone made of metal will bend when subjected to pressure, but the Internet has jumped on the BendGate controversy like a joyful Steve Wozniak pounding through the polo fields on his mighty Segway.

#BendGate, #BentGate and #BendGhazi started trending on Twitter within the last 24 hours, and while Apple’s PR machine remains silent, the Internet has given its hilarious opinion on the controversy.

Here are some of the funniest BendGate reactions:

Apple pulls iOS 8.0.1 update that fixed HealthKit but broke Touch ID, cell service

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Download iOS 8.0.1 now. Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac.
Download iOS 8.0.1 now. Photo: Killian Bell/Cult of Mac.

Update: iOS 8.0.1 upgraders are reporting problems with Touch ID and cellular connectivity after installing Apple’s update. You should wait before taking the plunge. If you’ve already installed iOS 8.0.1, here’s how to downgrade to iOS 8.

Apple has pulled an iOS 8.0.1 update that fixed problems with HealthKit and various other features after iPhone 6 and 6 Plus users discovered the update broke Touch ID and blocked cellular connectivity.

The iOS 8.0.1 update was also supposed to improve Reachability on the iPhone 6, but it has already been removed while Apple addresses the nest of new bugs it unleashed.