‘Thank You’ offers fans a graceful, defanged goodbye to True Blood

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It's hard to say goodbye. Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO
#GoodbyesSuck Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO

It’s time, Tru Believers, to watch the very last episode of HBO’s vampire romantic drama, True Blood.

Overall, this final episode is slow and sweetly-paced, funneling down from the crazy, too-many-characters and plot lines of the past several seasons to a gentle, musing (and ultimately narratively safe) tale of people trying to find themselves and growing up in the process.

Luckily, since this is TV, they all eventually do. Hoyt and Jessica, Jason and Bridgette, and — of course — Bill and Sookie all find their own version of a happy ending, with very few surprises along the way; it’s a very safe finish to seven seasons of fangbangery.

As always, spoilers ahead. So keep reading at your own peril.

True Blood services fans in penultimate episode, ‘Love Is To Die’

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Seething along with Eric Northman. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO
Seething along with Eric Northman. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO

Beginning just moments after the shocking end of last week’s episode of True Blood, the final season’s second-to-last entry tightens down on the remaining relationships: Sookie and Bill. Hoyt and Jessica. Eric and Pam (and Ginger!). Jason and new girl. A little Lafayette and James, a tiny smattering of Arlene and Keith. Couples are the way to go in Bon Temps.

Once again, we’ve got character dialogue that sounds like a love letter to the fans from the writers of this HBO-powered vampire drama that airs Sunday nights.

“As much as I appreciate compelling character drama,” says Pam in full sarcasm mode, “but the Yakuza are upstairs, so need I remind you to keep it the f*ck down, volume-wise?”

Spoilers below, so don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Love conquers all (even vampire glamour) in True Blood episode “Almost Home”

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Violet is regal in her pretty new torturer's dress. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO
Violet is regal in her pretty new torturer's dress. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO

As the eighth of the planned ten episodes in this final season of HBO vamp-drama, True Blood, “Almost Home” brings more storylines to a close, weaning us off the Bon Temps drama gently, with a few fun explodey bits along the way.

Eric and Pam get the lowdown on Mr. Gus’ final solution to the Nu Blood plan to total market domination, while Hoyt, Jason and Jessica start to clean up their complications. The missing kids and jealous vampire story comes to an abrupt yet satisfying end, and Sookie does all she can to help find a cure for her true love, Vampire Bill.

Be warned! Spoilers abound below, but as this is another talky episode, for the most part, we’re going to keep it short and to the point.

True Blood keeps the exposition coming in episode 7, “This May Be The Last Time”

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A tender moment. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO
A tender moment. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO

It’s another episode full of story set up and a ton of talking this week on True Blood, the HBO vampire romance-drama that’s now seven episodes into it’s final season.

The plot moves inexorably on toward some sort of conclusion, but seems to be more of an exercise in arranging characters so that they can fall in love and have sex with each other. Eric and Pam continue their search for Sarah Newland, Holli and Andy keep looking for Adilyn and Wade, Sookie still holds out hope that there will be a cure for Bill, who she infected with the Hepatitis-V virus her own darn self.

Here’s hoping that the endless plot devices slow down and merge into a series finale we can all be excited about in the next three episodes before it’s all over and done with.

Keep reading to see all the spoiler-y detail of this week’s episode of True Blood.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn in True Blood’s ‘Karma’

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Violet is angry, like usual. Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO
Violet is angry, like usual. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO

It’s time for the various residents of Bon Temps to face the music. Karma’s a bitch, and in the latest episode of the final season of this hit vampire romance TV show from HBO, we’re gonna watch most of the main characters deal with the consequences of their past behavior and poor choices. Andy, Holly, Bill, Sam, Sookie: Each of these True Blood staples have to stand up and own their life choices.

This is a pretty expository episode, so we spend a lot of time watching characters explain their situations in sometimes excruciating detail. Let’s hope that our karma for watching the show will be some more action-packed and hilarious scenes in the upcoming shows left in the season, rather than a payback for following the show for so long. We still have faith, though.

Spoilers abound below, so be warned. Find out what happened on last night’s episode after the jump.