Love conquers all (even vampire glamour) in True Blood episode “Almost Home”


Violet is regal in her pretty new torturer's dress. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO
Violet is regal in her pretty new torturer's dress. Photo: John P. Johnson/HBO

As the eighth of the planned ten episodes in this final season of HBO vamp-drama, True Blood, “Almost Home” brings more storylines to a close, weaning us off the Bon Temps drama gently, with a few fun explodey bits along the way.

Eric and Pam get the lowdown on Mr. Gus’ final solution to the Nu Blood plan to total market domination, while Hoyt, Jason and Jessica start to clean up their complications. The missing kids and jealous vampire story comes to an abrupt yet satisfying end, and Sookie does all she can to help find a cure for her true love, Vampire Bill.

Be warned! Spoilers abound below, but as this is another talky episode, for the most part, we’re going to keep it short and to the point.

Plan B, then? Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO
Plan B, then? Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO

The episode opens on Eric, seething with vampire angst, wanting to end Sarah Newland, antidote blood or not. He spares her, drinks her blood, and is cured. Huzzah! Boom to the credits.

True Blood Season 7, Episode 8: “Almost Home”
Written by Kate Barnow
Directed by Jesse Warn

Sookie and Bill pillow talk and we hear about why Bill went looking for Sookie in the first place, and why he never completed his task. Something something Queen Mab. Meh.

Finally – we get back to the Tara storyline. LaFayette & Lettie Mae convince Rev Daniels to trip on V with them, to see what dead Tara wants. We flashback to young Tara’s birthday party (complete with little LaFayette and Sookie). Tara’s drunk-ass daddy shows up, gets pissed off about all the money spent, and then starts searching for his gun. He’s a bad daddy.

Jason, Bridgette, and Hoyt are at Maxine’s house, gathering up Hoyt’s stuff. Bridgette makes a cute comment about baby noses, and Hoyt acts the fool. Follow along in the clip above. Stop drinking so much, Hoyt. You’re a mean drunk. Bridgette takes off with Jason, who just got a bunch of pictures from Violet, who’s tied up Jessica and Adylin in her pleasure dungeon.

Pam and Eric talk to Mr. Gus and find out that the Yakinomo Corporation has no plans to create a cure in their Nu Blood, but to synthesize something that will wear off after a while, creating an entire new market of dependent vampires. Mr Gus is a business man, and Pam and Eric gleefully toss him some hate smiles as they agree to his plan.

Jason arrives at Violet’s house to full-on vampire church chanting music, stuffed zebra in the hallway and a grizzly bear. Touch the zebra, Jason. Touch. It.

Violet shows up, totally jealous. We get some exposition on all the delightfully BDSM tortures she’s devised for the kidlets and Jessica, including a Saint Andrew’s cross and a fire-heated dildo that she’s going to endlessly use on Jessica, so they can all feel Violet’s jealous pain. Violet gets to go on and on until Hoyt walks in and shoots her. Mooshy vampire guts everywhere. Buh-bye, Violet.

Back in early Bon Temps, Tara’s drunk daddy wants his gun. Young Tara finds the gun in a different drawer, and takes aim at her daddy as he’s abusing her momma. She runs outside, and buries the gun in the yard. Tara brought the gang along on a V-inspired hallucination to say she was sorry for never actually pulling the trigger. She and her momma find closure. Sniff – stupid allergies!

Wrapping things up at Violet’s house, Andy and Holli are happy to have their kids back. Jessica moons over Hoyt. They chat under the giant polar bear taxidermy. D’awwww, Hoyt and Jessica are so cute. I will ‘ship them. Also, Bridgette and Jason are totally hot for each other.

Uh, I'll let you know..tomorrow, yeah, that's it. Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO
Uh, I’ll let you know..tomorrow, yeah, that’s it. Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO

There’s a knock on the door at the Compton place — hey, it’s Eric! His veins aren’t showing. He’s healed! Eric didn’t know that Bill was sick. Sookie wants Eric to save Bill. Eric is conflicted. Save asshole Bill? Betray his new business partner, Mr. Gus? Oh, it’s dawn, Eric has to go. Sookie can’t take no for an answer, so she runs off down the road in her robe and nothing else.

Jess and Jason have a heart to heart. Jason has a bit of insight into his incompetence. Jess is the sweetest vampire ever. These two aren’t going to stay together, but they are the most consistently written characters in the show’s 7 years. Soul kiss.

Sookie takes Alcide’s truck to Fangtasia, where all the capitalist-yakuza are hanging out. Sookie confronts them,and they let her in because Japanese Elvis wants to meet her. Eric feigns disinterest. Mr Gus knows better. Sookie listens in to Mr. Gus’s secret thoughts and finds out that Sarah Newland is under the bar.

Jason is eating at Bellefleur’s, when Hoyt shows up. Big John’s cookin’ up some eggs, and they are fine. Hoyt’s having hot thoughts about Jessica,staying up all night thinking about her. True love will conquer all, apparently: even vampire glamours. Also, Bellefleur’s has green Tabasco sauce, which I notice because that’s how little I care about this scene.

The sweetest taboo. Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO
The sweetest taboo. Photo: John P. Johnson/ HBO

Hoyt shows up at the Compton place to leave a note for Jessica. Don’t go out, baby Jessica. It’s sunny outside. She unlocks the door to let him in and meet in the light-tight living room. She checks her make-up, naturally. Hoyt brought his own clean blood to feed vampire Bill. JessiHoyt? Hoytica? Nah.

Where are you going, Sookie? Why, the underground railroad door underneath Fangtasia to find Sarah, tied up under the bar, of course. Sarah’s still biblically delusional about her own messiah complex. Sookie mind-melds with Sara and finds out all she needs to know. Sookie leaves Sarah in the dungeon and heads back to the Compton place to grab Bill.

Bill has a flashb—wait! It’s a bad dream, not a boring flashback. Sookie is humming to a little baby in a rocking chair. Except the baby is a fuzzy pile of darkness. Yikes!

Mr. Gus leaves town as well as a bunch of Yakuza to keep an eye on Eric and Pam. “What are we doing, now? Something stupid, I bet,” says Pam. Eric & Pam show up under the bar to get Sarah at the same time Bill, Sookie and Jess get there. Bill won’t bite. “No,” he says, “I don’t want the blood.”


End, to the strains of Moby’s “Almost Home.”

  • Karolis Makrickas

    Nobody cars about vampyre gays and their love stories. why to write about them in Apple blog? Do they use iphones instead of vibrators in tv series?

  • kavok

    What does this have to do with Apple exactly?