Forget breaking the Internet, Kim Kardashian broke the App Store

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Kim Kardashian wants to takeover your keyboard.
The end is nigh.
Photo: Kimoji

Looking forward to Christmas? So am I — unless humanity ignominiously implodes en route to December 25.

What would lead me to raise that possibility? Oh, just the fact that not only did Kim Kardashian’s newly-launched emoji app immediately shoot to the top of the App Store charts, but its popularity even caused sweeping technical difficulties across Apple’s giant app repository.

We brought this on ourselves, didn’t we?

God help us, Kim Kardashian now has her own emoji

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Kim Kardashian wants to takeover your keyboard.
Kim Kardashian wants to takeover your keyboard.
Photo: Kimoji

Ever been in texting conversation and found yourself completely unable to express yourself because there’s just not an emoji of Kim Kardashian’s breasts?

It’s unfortunate that society has come to this point, but if you answered ‘yes’ to the question above, there’s finally an app for that. Kim Kardashian now has an official emoji app — called Kimoji (get it?) — that brings more than 250 emoji and sticker designs to help you convey the deepest thoughts of your soul.

iOS 9.2 autocorrects ‘lardass’ to ‘Kardashian’

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Photo: TMZ

Someone at Apple appears to be playing a joke on the Kardashians. Either that, or the neural net powering iOS 9’s typo suggestions has unlocked a new synonym.

All iPhones and iPads running iOS 9.2 now autocorrects the word ‘lardass’ to ‘Kardashian.’ News of the comic correction first started making waves yesterday when DJ Phoenix tweeted about the little ‘glitch’ that appears to make fun of Kardashian’s famously ample sized derrière.

I didn’t believe it at first, so I decided to check it out for myself and here’s what autocorrect suggested:

Kanye West gives Kim Kardashian the gift of Steve Jobs at surprise party

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Michael Fassbender received a Golden Globe nomination for his portrayal of Jobs.
I'mma let you finish, but Steve Jobs was the greatest movie of all time!
Photo: François Duhamel/©2015 Universal Studios

Whether he’s giving Tim Cook unrequested business advice, inviting Steve Wozniak to see his newborn daughter, or talking about his admiration for Jony Ives (sic), Kanye West has proven himself to be a pretty unabashed Apple fan.

Which is why it’s probably no surprise that, when he took in on himself to organize a surprise party for wife Kim Kardashian’s 35th birthday, a special screening of Aaron Sorkin’s new Steve Jobs movie was top of the list.

13 hot new Super Bowl commercials getting their game on right now

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Danny Trejo stars with recreated Brady bunch actors and sets in this hilarious ad for Snickers. Photo: Mars, Inc.
Danny Trejo stars with Brady Bunch actors and sets in this hilarious ad for Snickers. Photo: Mars

It used to be that you had to wait until Sunday to see the hot, out-of-this-world-expensive Super Bowl ads during the big game.

In our modern, always-connected age of sneak-peek overindulgence, you can actually skip the game itself and watch the ads on your own time, via YouTube and your sweet iPad or iPhone.

Here are 13 of the most hotly anticipated short films that you can preview right now, and spend your commercial time during the game making snacks and taking bathroom breaks.