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Vowels are dropped from names so commonly these days that it can only end with the leftover consonants becoming so jammed together that they will densify and densify into some kind of alphanumerical black hole, dragging in all words until us humans will be rendered mute, and I will be forced to shut up once and for all.

And if you thought that paragraph had nothing to do with the next gadget, you’re dead wrong. It’s called the Statc (missing vowel) and it’s a camera “tripod” consisting of nothing but a big lump of super-strong magnet (black-hole-like attraction).

Yesterday, Apple yanked Airfoil Speakers Touch for unspecified reasons. A little birdie told us it was because Airfoil Speakers Touch duplicated inherent functionality in iOS 6. It’s possible that that’s still true, but if it is, it’s not why Airfoil Speakers Touch was pulled, as Apple has now gone on record saying it was actually because Rogue Amoeba violated a developer guideline against non-public APIs.

In the latest iPhone 4S ads that debuted earlier this week starring actor John Malkovich, Siri tells a joke upon request… and let’s face it, it’s a pretty lame one. Not bad for a computer, but the kind of thing that would get you beaten up in the men’s room at the local Laugh Emporium if you pulled it out during your set at open mic night.

What if Siri told a real joke? What if she told a dirty joke? Heck, what if she told the dirtiest joke there is? Here’s a great video parody of the recent ad, with a very, very clever (and totally safe for work!) take on that old blue comedy classic, The Aristocrats.

If you’ve never heard The Artistocrats before, Bob Saget’s version (go figure!) is generally considered to be one of the filthiest. You can compare and contrast Siri’s version to it here (NSFW!)

Thanks: Gil!

During today’s Jailbreak Live event at the Hack in the Box conference in Amsterdam, Pod2g and his “dream team” of iOS hackers took to the stage to unveil the long-awaited iOS 5.1.1 untethered jailbreak. The team also explained how the Absinthe 2.0 software works its magic and opens your device up to a world filled with apps and tweaks that Apple never wanted you to install on your device.

Here’s how it works.

Following the Absinthe 2.0 jailbreak for all iOS devices on 5.1.1, a new jailbreak has been released for the second-generation Apple TV running iOS 5.0.1. Firecore has released a big update to Seas0nPass, the tool used to jailbreak the Apple TV, with the latest unther. You can grab the updated tool for free to jailbreak your Apple TV.

The Chronic Dev Team released its Absinthe 2.0 jailbreak this morning for all iOS devices running iOS 5.1.1. This is the first jailbreak available for the newly-released third-gen iPad, and Absinthe 2.0 has already become the Chronic Dev Team’s most successful release to date.

Servers are getting slammed and folks are having a difficult time jailbreaking their devices. Cydia itself seems to be buckling under the weight of all the new jailbreakers today, as repos are failing to load. iDB has also noticed the Cydia errors, so don’t fret if you can’t immediately download jailbreak tweaks and apps.

Over the past several months, Box has reinvented itself. The company went from being a pretty basic cloud storage solution to true enterprise solution and a hub for storing, viewing, and editing all manner of documents on an iPad or other mobile device. Box’s journey continued this week as the company launched a series of new features for business and enterprise customers.

As you probably know by now, today is the day that iOS hackers released the untethered jailbreak for devices running the latest iOS 5.1.1 software.

However, you may have already jailbroken yours using the tethered solution that was released some time ago. If that’s the case, you don’t need go through the whole process again — simply install the Rocky Racoon tweak to turn your tethered jailbreak into an untethered one.

The popular puzzle game follow up Cut The Rope: Experiments has been keeping Om Nom fed for quite some time, but many of you have been running out of experiments to perform. Thankfully, ZeptoLab has pushed out an update to challenge our wits and feed our precious Om Nom. The latest update features:

With its e-textbook initiative, iTunes U, and a range of educational resources, Apple is pitching the iPad as critical element in 21st century schools. Many schools have already begun iPad tests or full-scale deployments. In other schools, however, there’s still a fight over where and how the iPad and other technologies fit into the classroom. A battle erupted between teachers and lawmakers in Idaho earlier this year over new technology requirements in the state’s schools.

So what makes some schools embrace iPads and other new technologies while others resist them? It turns out that the answer may lie in the personal technology preferences of school and district administrators.

This Monday, May 28, is Memorial Day in the United States. And not only does that mean we all get the day off work (well, most of us) but it also means that iOS game developers are slashing the prices of their most popular titles. We’ve compiled a list of the best, including games from the likes of 2D BOY, EA, Firemint, and Rockstar.

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Now that you’ve had time to jailbreak and explore Cydia on your iPad, what do you install? If you’d like to rest assured knowing that you have the most incredible setup on your jailbroken iPad, then look no further. We’ve collected the very best jailbreak apps and tweaks for Apple’s tablet.

The latest jailbreak is officially out, but now that your device is nice and jailbroken, what are you supposed to do with it? What are the must-have jailbreak apps and tweaks you should download first?

In many ways, some of the most innovative and daring development work is happening on Cydia these days, so if you’re new to jailbreaking, we envy the discovery you have to come. Here’s our list of some of the best jailbreak apps and tweaks.

The latest Absinthe untethered jailbreak for iOS has finally been released. After months of waiting, you can download the Chronic Dev Team’s free Absinthe tool to jailbreak your iOS device in a matter of minutes.

We’ll show you how to jailbreak iOS 5.1.1 the right way in this guide.

When Apple began roping in celebrities to promote Siri in its latest iPhone 4S adds, Samuel L. Jackson was one of the first to star alongside the voice-controlled assistant. In the 30-second clip, entitled “Date Night,” he asks Siri to cancel golf, find organic mushrooms, convert volume units, and set a reminder.

Siri does as Jackson asks so quickly that he hardly has chance to finish his sentence. But how would she cope with his requests away from the cameras? The answer is: not very well at all.

Like we told you would happen earlier this week, the Chronic Dev Team has released Absinthe 2.0 today, a jailbreak for nearly all iOS devices, including the third-gen iPad, running the newly-released iOS 5.1.1. Absinthe 2.0 is an untethered jailbreak, meaning you won’t have to re-jailbreak every time you reboot your iOS device.

Chronic Dev Team hacker pod2g told the world last weekend that this latest jailbreak was only a “matter of days” away, and it turns out that he was right.

Apple is expected to give us a sneak peek at iOS 6 during its Worldwide Developers Conference this June, and after its announcement, the company is likely to issue the first beta to registered developers. Until then, no one knows what iOS 6 will have in store for us, but that isn’t preventing hackers from making progress on its jailbreak.

They haven’t even released the untethered jailbreak for iOS 5.1.1 yet — though it’s expected to go live very shortly — and already Pod2g and his team “have a part” of the jailbreak for Apple’s next-generation iOS operating system.

Finding apps in the App Store can be daunting. Sure, you can use the search function, or the Top Ten lists there, but still, with over 500,000 apps just sitting there waiting to be downloaded, it takes a lot of wading to find the true gems. That’s why Apple started their promotional areas in iTunes, to help consumers find quality apps and games. The New and Noteworthy section, the Hot Apps section, and the more recent iPhone and iPad App of the Week features call out the best of the best, in Apple’s eyes, at least. Now they’ve gone and added a new way to help you find the cream of the crop in their much lauded store: Free App of the Week.

May is Mobile Management Month at Cult of Mac, where we will be profiling a different mobile management company every weekday. You can find all previous entries here  and read our Mobile Management manifesto here.

Absolute Manage MDM provides all the major mobile management capabilities. In addition device and app management, Absolute Manage MDM offers a secure on-device file store option called AbsoluteSafe that can be used to deliver files directly to user devices. AbsoluteSafe includes the ability to automate access to files by policies or schedule in addition to on-demand file deployment, removal, or access rights adjustments. The suite integrates with the company’s Absolute desktop client management (Mac and Windows) and deployment suite, together they can provide complete IT and lifecycle management features mobile devices, Macs, PCs, and software.

When you jailbreak an iOS device, you are given access to Cydia, the wild west frontier of tweaks, themes and apps you can’t get in Apple’s own App Store. Jailbreaking gives you the freedom to customize your device the way you see fit by installing various plugins, system-level extensions, tweaks and apps from Cydia.

After awhile, you can amass quite a few Cydia apps and packages, and it’s important to keep your purchases and downloads backed up for safe keeping. Whether it’s a jailbreak tweak you paid $2 for or a free one, you don’t want to lose what you find during your jailbreaking career.

Every several months a new jailbreak will come out for the latest version of iOS, and you’ll need to re-jailbreak your iOS device. Restoring to a stock version of iOS before jailbreaking removes all of your jailbreak apps and tweaks. In Cult of Mac’s ultimate roundup, we’ll show you the best ways to backup and restore your Cydia apps on your jailbroken iOS device.

Congrats, commenter munpip214! You’ve won the contest! Enjoy your newfound fame!

So, this image is fairly clear, right? A ton of iPads, all charging with some charging ephemera in the background, none of them out of the plastic wrap that iPads come in. The poster on G+, Google’s social network, is Cameron Brower. What he does is anyone’s guess, but we found this image to be rather sublime, and just crying out for a clever caption. His comment on it? “I hope I never see an iPad again.” Now, it’s your turn.

AT&T has begun shutting down its 2G service in New York to free up spectrum for 3G and 4G customers. The shut down will effect a number of mobile phones that rely on 2G service for voice and data.

If you’re still using an original iPhone that doesn’t support 3G, it isn’t time to worry just yet. At least initially, the AT&T will only be shutting down one of the frequency bands that it uses to provide 2G service. Frequency that is  supported by the original iPhone will be maintained for the foreseeable future.

Here we go again, more numbers, more Android and iOS domination. According to IDC, 8 out of 10 smartphones shipped in the first quarter of 2012 included either iOS or Android. Android continues to lead the pack with a total of 59% of the 152.3 million smartphones shipped, while iOS accounted for 23% respectively. Combined they populate 82% of the smartphone market, up 27.6% since Q1 2011. These numbers are an amazing testament to Android’s growth as well as iOS’s stability (which is amazing considering they only have a few devices).

TSA is the latest U.S. federal agency to make a significant investment in Apple technologies in what may be a move away from RIM’s BlackBerry and Windows PCs. The agency is set to start a pilot program that will run over the next three years and will involve heavy investment in Macs, iPhones, iPads, and even Apple TVs.

According to federal documents (PDF link), the security agency plans to spend $3 million on Apple products and has an amazingly wide range of uses for them in mind. The plans go well beyond the scope of Apple investments made by other U.S. government agencies like the EPA and FAA, which focus primarily on iPhones and/or iPads.

Update: According to our tipster, Airfoil Speakers Touch wasn’t yanked arbitrarily, but instead because it duplicates functionality in the still unreleased and officially unannounced iOS 6. Our source says that in iOS 6, an Apple TV, for example, can pipe sound from a movie to an iPod touch, iPhone or iPad, and any iOS device will be able to beam audio to another. We’re trying to get more details, and have reached out to Apple and Rogue Amoeba for comment. Original post is below.

Update: 2: We’ve added Rogue Amoeba’s official comment at the bottom of this post.

Rogue Amoeba are some of the good guys. They’ve released some of the Mac’s coolest audio apps, including Airfoil, Audio Hijack Pro, Piezo, Pulsar, Nicecast and Fission, and we’ve long been a fan of their version of Airfoil for iOS. Called Airfoil Speakers Touch, the app allowed you to stream audio over AirPlay from your Mac, PC or iDevice to any iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch. We’ve been rocking it since 2009.

Now Airfoil Speakers Touch is dead, killed for unspecified reasons by Apple’s App Store review team while the guys at Rogue Amoeba scratch their heads.