This week: come September 9th, we’ll have a new iPhone 6S, sure, but how does an iPad Pro and a drastically new Apple TV sound? We’ll tell you what to expect from Apple’s Sept. 9th event, because this event is fixin’ to be a doozie.
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Episode
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This week’s links
Spoiler alert: All the juicy details on iPhone 6s
iPhone 6s will be Apple’s best selfie machine ever
Apple TV streaming service could cost more than $40
Apple wants to take on Netflix with its own original programming
Erfon Elijah is the producer and host of The CultCast. When not editing podcasts or watching Mrs. Doubtfire, you’ll find him on Xbox Live hunting CoD Ghosts foes like the Predator. Here are his tweets…
One response to “Drastically new Apple TV and our Apple event expectations on The CultCast”
“Drastically new Apple TV and our Apple event expectations on The CultCast”
As a longtime, devoted Apple fan and stockholder, I’m looking forward to this event, as I do all the events. No Apple event has ever disappointed me, and I’ve been watching them since 1984. But based on experience, here’s what •I• expect to hear within minutes after the event:
1. Yeah, yeah, so we have the iPhone 6s/7. But what about the iPhone 8?? What’s wrong with Apple? Why no iPhone 8 yet?
2. iOS 9? Meh! Too much like iOS 8. Nothing new. We want iOS 10, and we want it now!
3. Only 10 or 12 hours a charge? This is horrible! My Samsung S-whatever can go for two years without a charge… unless I use it.
4. Same old look and feel we had last year? Apple is behind the times. This wouldn’t have happened if Steve Jobs were still alive. Apple is doomed!
5. Only a 12 megapixel camera?! Huh? My Samsung S-whatever has a 2000 megapixel camera and can take razor-sharp photos in complete darkness. Apple is a fail!
6. iPhones STILL have a bending problem! I just put my new iPhone 6s (7) into a vice and hurled a bowling ball directly at it… and it bent! iPhone 6s/7 is junk.
7. Larger iPad? Meh. We want a two-foot wide iPad so we can watch HD movies. The TV is too big, the iPad Pro is too small. It’s a fail! Where is the iPad Super Pro?
8. New AppleTV? Only 4k ability? Faster, better, sleeker, more content? Meh. We want an AppleTV Pro with a built-in 5 terabyte server, 8k video, twenty HDMI ports and offer all programming for free all the time.
9. AppleWatch updates? Meh. Who cares? They’re too thick, burn your wrists, can’t play 4k videos, only last a whole day under heavy use and don’t have an SD slot. My Fitbit works better.
10. Lackluster Apple event. Nothing new, just “updates” of the same old stuff. Nothing new coming from Apple. Nothing groundbreaking. No Apple Auto, no Apple Airplane, no Apple Refrigerator. Apple is too big and no longer innovates. The company is a complete failure.
Then… after all the cat-calls, taunts and complaints, the stock will go down as it always does following the stellar sales reports and product introductions, and the ANALysts will start weighing in with their “I-told-you-so’s.”
Naturally, I hope none of this seeming satire is true, and that Apple is lauded as it always should be (IMHO). One can (and does) hope.