The new MacBooks are out, and I don’t care [Opinions]

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New MacBook line Spring 2016
Get your new MacBook for $600 less.
Photo: Apple

We’d heard rumblings and observed omens and portents about the imminent release of new 12-inch MacBooks, and now they are here. And that’s pretty cool, I guess.

Longer battery life is always a plus, as are faster Skylake processors and speedier memory. The new Rose Gold option is pretty, too.

But despite the fact that I’m still rocking a 2011 MacBook Pro, I’m not reaching for my wallet to grab one of the new Retina MacBook models. I can’t even explain why that is — I simply don’t care.

I’ve read Apple’s press release about the new MacBooks several times, and while everything listed is an objective improvement, I haven’t found the sentence that makes me think, “OK, this belongs on my desk.”

Has Apple so spoiled me with crazy, slightly esoteric features like 3D Touch and Retina Flash that I can’t get excited about new gear without a new gimmick? Is it not enough that the company has built new MacBooks that are simply better than the old ones? Apparently not.

Actually, you know what excited me about the new 12-inch MacBooks?

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I perked up a little when I read about them not having fans. Or even vents. I’m just curious what that’s even like. Probably quiet. It’s the sort of thing you don’t even notice normally, kind of like more RAM and a faster processor. My editor tells me last year’s Retina MacBook models didn’t have fans, either, so this still isn’t anything to get too worked up about. Neither is the 8GB of RAM that Apple is now making standard on the MacBook Air.

However, I’m thinking this is more a problem with me than anything Apple has done or failed to do. We shouldn’t expect Apple to come up with crazy new features on every iteration of every device.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not opposed to the new MacBooks. I don’t even dislike them — I think they’re pretty cool. I just don’t care.