Glorkian Warrior Is For The Marshmallow-Cereal-Swilling Youngster In Everyone [Review]


Trials of Glork

I have fond memories of waking up Saturday morning, pouring myself a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys (because Count Chocula was out of season), and plunking down on the couch to watch my favorite cartoons. And then, when the cereal was gone and the show was over, I opened my laptop and cranked out that review of Demolition Crush that went up Monday.

Glorkian Warrior: Trials of Glork by Pixeljam
Category: iOS Games
Works With: iPhone, iPad
Price: $2.99

I am not an adult, is what I’m getting at here.

Glorkian Warrior: The Trials of Glork is a collaboration between developer Pixeljam and comic-book artist James Kochalka. It feels like a mashup between classic arcade shooter Galaga and Adventure Time, which means that it hits all the right notes for people whose favorite breakfasts still end in bowls full of chocolate milk.

You play as Glork, a Glorkian warrior charged with defending an asteroid from an endless attack by hostile alien forces. All you have are your reflexes and a heavily armed backpack with a bad case of Sass Mouth. The backpack handles the shooting; all you have to do is run back and forth to make sure the bullets get to the right spot.

Vanquished invaders drop genre-standard weapon powerups, and sometimes you have to deal with ground troops in the form of fire-breathing octopus things that you defeat by jumping on them. So basically, this game has a lot going on.

It hits all the right notes for people whose favorite breakfasts still end in bowls full of chocolate milk.

The game randomizes enemy types and patterns each time you play, so it keeps the challenge and variety up. And the dialogue between rounds is sharp and funny, and immature in all the right ways.

You have three control schemes to choose from, but go ahead and ignore the two with virtual joysticks because your thumbs will only get in the way. Stick with the one that keeps those obtrusive digits at the side of the screen where they belong. It’s way more precise, anyway.

Trials of GlorkGame Name: : Glorkian Warrior: The Trials of Glork
The Good: Sharp writing, great retro gameplay, and excellent art.
The Bad: Some minor control issues that go away with practice.
The Verdict: It’s a ridiculously charming game that makes me smile every time I play it. And I’m not a smiler, people.
Buy from: App Store – Glorkian Warrior: Trials Of Glork – Pixeljam