Is Apple Haunted?

Is Apple Haunted?

Trip Chowdhry, the Managing Director of Equity Research at Global Equities Research, told a financial writer a few months ago that Apple’s biggest challenge without founder Steve Jobs is that Apple lacks a “unified force.” In order to become unified again, Apple would need a “supernatural person” overseeing things.

But according to Thai Buddhists, they may have exactly that — the reincarnated spirit of Steve Jobs himself, who they say is living in a “mystical glass palace hovering above his old office at Apple’s Cupertino, California headquarters,” according to The Wall Street Journal.

I’ll tell you in this post more about Jobs’ so-called reincarnation, and also about several ghosts caught haunting various Apple products. (And I’m not talking about problems with the MacBook Pro Retina screens.)

Here’s all the spooky stuff that’s going on. 

The Reincarnation of Steve Jobs

According to the Journal, an Apple engineer named Tony Tseung sent an email to a Buddhist group in Thailand to find out what happened to Jobs after his death. They answered by producing a video about Jobs. They also produced this lengthy illustrated account online, and in multiple languages. (Note that this is a four-part screed; click the links to read additional parts.)

According to the web site, Jobs was reincarnated and now lives near Apple’s Cupertino headquarters. He lives, they wrote, in a “simple and mid-sized celestial castle, which is as tall as a six-story building. The castle itself is made up of white silver and crystal.

Let’s be honest: It looks like an Apple Store, according to the illustration.

Anyway, the account of Jobs’ reincarnation is quite thorough, and includes his past lives as a builder, architect and designer of Thai temples, and specifies all the reasons why he was successful in his life.

The account even goes into great detail about Jobs’ everyday life as a reincarnated “Earth sprite.” Jobs’ bed, for example, “has a simple but elegant design and it floats in the air. Whenever he feels like listening to a favorite song, the song comes on automatically without any need for electricity or equipment like the way things are in the Human Realm. Whenever he feels like eating, his attendants will bring him a favorite dish without having to be asked. It can be said that everything in the celestial castle is perfect and hi-tech and it fulfills his every need to his utmost satisfaction.”

(Watch the US Patent Office for a mysterious patent for a method for listening to music “without any need for electricity or equipment.”)

I don’t know if a reincarnated Jobs is living in an Apple Store, but apparently he’s using Twitter.

Haunted iPads

When your iPad starts exhibiting paranormal activity, who you gonna call? YouTube, apparently. Several people have posted spooky “evidence” of haunted iPads on the site.

My favorite is a video posted a few months ago by “Snakehealer” on YouTube. He found that when he took a bite out of an apple, and placed it on his iPad displaying a picture of Steve Jobs, the picture started pulsating with cosmic energy.

And there have been several documented reports on YouTube of iPads being taken over by ghosts, and controlled from beyond. Like this one. Or this.

Or, it’s just a iOS glitch.

iPhones Detect Beams of Mystery Light

iPhone users have been reportedly seeing mysterious beams of light in photos taken on their iPhones, including one coming straight out of the El Castillo pyramid at Mexico’s Chichen Itza! It happens when they also capture lighting in the photograph.

These beams of light were caused either by ancient aliens communicating during lighting storms, by supernatural beings ascending to and from heaven, or a glitch in the iPhone that creates the vertical streak in certain lighting conditions. Probably the first one.

Based on all this “evidence,” it’s clear that Apple and its products are haunted. Or, you might even say “magical.”

Related
  • mr_bee

    Mike, this piece about ghosts and other impossible supernatural garbage is as entirely believable as the rest of your articles.

  • BigLama

    well it might be a possibilty especiallly if jobs was very attached to his products.

  • technochick

    I know that the weekend News flow is slow but do you really have to write this garbage? I mean really for a person that is in to Technology you go and vomit this crap out for the world to see. Do us a favor and stand in front of a train. After your hit I’ll let you know if ghosts are real. You F*** tard.

    While I agree that this is nothing more than hit whoring and in a tone that is potentially mocking and insulting of Buddhists, to tell someone to go kill themselves is worse.

  • Russ Hughes

    You know guys when you have nothing to publish then you could always publish nothing.

  • theobserving

    What are you going to post tomorrow – “Toilets at Apple flush clockwise – except on Tuesdays. DOES IT MEAN IPAD MINI DSFDF@#$J#@$JK!!!???”

    holy crap it’s pathetic.

  • joewaylo

    iPhones detect mystery beams of light? Isn’t those mystery beams like IR sensors, laser beams, and similar able to be seen though a camera?

  • freighttrain2126

    Wow, chill out. Not everything has to be hardcore serious all the time. If there is no real news, some entertainment pieces are fun too. Lighten up.

  • Adrian Griffiths

    I see, a sort of “Paranormal App-tivity”?

  • Philip K. Eyrich

    It makes me ask, Who is John Galt?

  • TylerHoj

    Steve Jobs wears a scarf when he’s sleeping, and a turtleneck and blazer in the afterlife. Nice.

  • Mike Elgan

    For those of you having an aneurism of this fun column, I say: Grow a sense of humor. You’re too young to be so humorless and bitter.

  • mozfart

    Everyone knows Mike Elgan is a hit man from Google. He is a poor Windows writer, who got added to Google+ auto suggest list, gained 1.6million followers in exchange to writing trashy posts about Apple.

    It is ridiculous, and I for one hope Cult of Mac will remove this cancer once and for all.

  • mozfart

    And to gain traffic, google happily manipulates news.google.com to feature this piece of trash article. The most featured article in Technology section is this hit man post by Elgan. Goes to show how far Google is willing to go to “get back” at Apple.

    Someone at Cult of Mac should wake up and smell the coffee already.

  • Alfred2612

    A funny article that made me chuckle, but was quite interesting too. Thanks Mike!

  • poorexplorer

    What these Buddhists described doesn’t technically count as reincarnation. Also, the author spelled “lightning” incorrectly twice in one paragraph.

    That said, my iMac and iPad are behaving very strangely ever since I read this article. Clearly they are haunted and angry at me for not believing.

  • pokerodu

    Narcissism -> Erotic gratification derived from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

  • Bob Forsberg

    The premise lacking of a “unified force” is false….ask Samsung, stock holders and sales forecasters. Thai Buddhists have about as much insight and credibility as Steve Ballmer and Michael Dell

  • ZeroLeonheart

  • Dolly Charles

    “unified force” makes no sense. What it lacks, if it lacks anything since Steve’s death, is a UNIFYING force. What Chowdhry lacks is remedial English skills.

About the author

Mike ElganMike Elgan writes about technology and culture for a wide variety of publications. Follow Mike on Google+, Facebook and Twitter.

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Posted in Apple, iOS, iPad, iPhone, Opinions, photography, Rumors, Steve Jobs, Top stories |