Unfortunately, iPhones REALLY Don’t Have 3G

A bit more than a week into the iPhone launch, we’ve established some certainties:

1. All the iPod functions are awesome
2. Browsing in Safari is surprisingly good
3. No. 2 is only true when connected to WiFi, because EDGE is SLOW

For all of the nit-picking and armchair quarterbacking, the only feature that people are consistently upset about is the lack of high-speed wireless data. Unfortunately, some early adopters are trying to justify their purchases. From the sounds of it, the always-entertaining Robert Cringely is among their ranks:

The question here is whether 3G is already built into the iPhones shipping now or whether it will require a new model? Given that it is coming so soon after the iPhone introduction, I can’t believe that even Steve would make us buy new phones. It is very likely that a firmware upgrade will awaken the 3G within all you iPhone owners.

That’s a different definition of “very likely” than I’ve ever heard. I wish it were true, Bob, but it just ain’t. Many people have gone through the iPhone with a fine-toothed comb, and there is no secret 3G hardware. If there were, Steve Jobs wouldn’t have explicitly complained about the poor battery life of current 3G chipsets, and the many geeks who’ve ripped open their iPhones would have found the chip. The first-gen iPhone is the first-gen iPhone is the first-gen iPhone. Flash and java support can be added. New hardware can’t.

I won’t be surprised at all if Steve gooses iPhone sales with a 3G model in time for Christmas, maybe with 16GB of on-board storage. I will, however, eat a haberdashery worth of hats, if current iPhones get on that high-speed highway.

Via Apple 2.0