Yes, settle down, we realize you’re just dying to dive into this one — so we’ve compiled a hot, attractive little FAQ about Playboy magazine’s new iPhone app:
Q: Seriously? There’s a Playboy magazine app now?
A: Yep. Just released last Thursday. But don’t get too excited — just like “nudie mags” in the (thankfully past) sad days of apartheid-cursed South Africa, all the naked bits are covered.
Well, that’s ok, I just read it for the…uh…y’know, articles and stuff.
Right. Except our crack research department’s findings say you’re full of it (crack research department’s findings: As of this post, 32 of 49 ratings on the app’s App Store page were one-star or lower).
No, really. I suffer from Gymnophobia.
…uh, what?
Gymnophobia, man! Fear of nudity!
Ah. In that case, thanks to the App Store’s draconian Gymnophobic-friendly policies, the Playboy app has been completely sanitized for your protection; now you’ll be able to enjoy Playboy’s journalism — which really does feature some very talented writers — without all that panic-inducing nakedness getting in the way.
Really?
Sure. There’s an absorbing interview with the director of the soon-to-be-blockbuster movie Avatar, James Cameron, another with Benicio Del Toro and one of Playboy’s hallmark 20-question shotgun interviews leveled at former-UFC fighter and star of upcoming A-Team movie, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. And we’re pretty sure none of the interviewers or interviewees were nude either (but we won’t bet either way). The app is $2, and contains content from two issues — including exclusive content, like very short vidclips with absolutely no nudity.
Seriously, no nakedness? None? Anywhere??
Nope. There’s probably more nudity to be had from the iPhone app Nude-it.
And anyway, you said you were a gymnast-whatsa.
Now don’t ask us about this lack of nudity thing again. We’re pretty disappointed as it is. At least, we think most of us are.
When he was eight, Eli Milchman came home from frolicking in the Veld one day and was given an Atari 400. Since then, his fascination with technology has made him an intrepid early adopter of whatever charming new contraption crosses his path. He calls San Francisco home, where he works as a journalist and photographer. Eli has contributed to the pages of Wired.com and BIKE Magazine, among others. Hang with him on Twitter.
