Yes, settle down, we realize you’re just dying to dive into this one — so we’ve compiled a hot, attractive little FAQ about Playboy magazine’s new iPhone app:
Q: Seriously? There’s a Playboy magazine app now?
A: Yep. Just released last Thursday. But don’t get too excited — just like “nudie mags” in the (thankfully past) sad days of apartheid-cursed South Africa, all the naked bits are covered.
Well, that’s ok, I just read it for the…uh…y’know, articles and stuff.
Right. Except our crack research department’s findings say you’re full of it (crack research department’s findings: As of this post, 32 of 49 ratings on the app’s App Store page were one-star or lower).
No, really. I suffer from Gymnophobia.
…uh, what?
Gymnophobia, man! Fear of nudity!
Ah. In that case, thanks to the App Store’s draconian Gymnophobic-friendly policies, the Playboy app has been completely sanitized for your protection; now you’ll be able to enjoy Playboy’s journalism — which really does feature some very talented writers — without all that panic-inducing nakedness getting in the way.
Really?
Sure. There’s an absorbing interview with the director of the soon-to-be-blockbuster movie Avatar, James Cameron, another with Benicio Del Toro and one of Playboy’s hallmark 20-question shotgun interviews leveled at former-UFC fighter and star of upcoming A-Team movie, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson. And we’re pretty sure none of the interviewers or interviewees were nude either (but we won’t bet either way). The app is $2, and contains content from two issues — including exclusive content, like very short vidclips with absolutely no nudity.
Seriously, no nakedness? None? Anywhere??
Nope. There’s probably more nudity to be had from the iPhone app Nude-it.
And anyway, you said you were a gymnast-whatsa.
Now don’t ask us about this lack of nudity thing again. We’re pretty disappointed as it is. At least, we think most of us are.
