This is not an Onion article, though you may have been fooled into thinking that given the preposterous headline.
NBA forward Matt Bonner has won two championship rings with the San Antonio Spurs, but after suffering his worst shooting percentage since his rookie season, the 35-year old his placing all the blame on Apple.
In a recent interview the basketball player revealed that he believes the iPhone 6’s larger screen contributed to his poor shooting performance, and gave him a season-ending injury in the form of a serious case of tennis elbow.
“Everybody is going to find this hilarious, but here’s my theory on how I got it,” Bonner told the Concord Monitor. “When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one, and I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch further to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that’s how I ended up developing it.”
He can’t be serious, right? You don’t even move your elbow to reach the farthest buttons on that bigger than big display. Plus, Bonner’s 6’10 with massive hands. If my puny girlish fingers can manage to surf around the iPhone’s screen, surely Matt’s meaty man hands are able to reach the farthest corners far easier.
According to the Spurs medical staff Bonner’s not pulling anyone’s leg here. Bonner said he spoke to one of the team’s strength and conditioning coaches about the injury and the coach reported that he had suffered a similar injury after gaming too much on his iPhone.
Samsung, sign this guy up for a sponsorship deal.