Fantasy keynote shows how Steve Jobs would have sold us on Apple Watch

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How would Steve Jobs have introduced the Apple Watch? Photo: Ben Stanfield/Flickr CC

Photo: Ben Stanfield/Flickr CC

Apple fans will never revel in the glory of another Stevenote. But an essay that imagines how Steve Jobs would have introduced the Apple Watch just might be the next best thing.

Lesson No. 1: He wouldn’t have called it the “Apple Watch.”

The brilliant essay, written by Jong-Moon Kim and simply titled “Steve Jobs Introduces the iPhone 6 and Apple Watch,” starts off with an insightful critique of Tuesday’s actual Apple event, which gave us our first real look at the iPhone 6 and the world’s new favorite smartwatch.

The first half of the rather lengthy essay is educational and certainly worth reading for anyone with a Mad Men bug or a general interest in advertising and marketing. It shows how Apple might have made a stronger case for the new, bigger iPhones and the Apple Watch, and packs loads of healthy constructive criticism (although it’s pretty clear Apple doesn’t need any help selling the iPhone 6).

However, the fantasy keynote script that follows will transport you back in time to when Jobs ruled the stage and Apple events seemed nearly as magical and laden with impact as a face-to-face talk with a burning bush on the side of a mountain.

What’s spelled out — and, perhaps most importantly, what is left unexplained — is very revealing. The language, the pacing, the sly nods and ingratiating humor … it all rings true.

The writer, an MIT computer science grad and Y Combinator alum who “is currently working as a founder at an unannounced startup,” according to his bio, perfectly captures the magic of the Stevenote, and I don’t want to spoil any of it by quoting it here. It makes a great weekend read.

Source: Jiggity’s Essays by Jong-Moon Kim