Since we can no longer carp about people smoking, it would seem we have to find some bone to pick with fellow diners in restaurants.
Case in point: a server in a busy San Francisco restaurant (where else?) wonders if it is a breach of etiquette 2.0 to bring your own mobile entertainment to the table.
“I am a server at an extremely busy restaurant in San Francisco. The proliferation of technology and our lack of etiquette has reached an all-time high! This evening at work, a table had their iPad propped up in the center of the table and was watching the U.S. Open throughout the course of their meal. This seemed completely insane!”
So the restaurant is busy, so you’re trying to get people in, get them fed and get them out: not provide what amounts to an evening’s entertainment as they watch a movie or entire sporting event.
“I noticed a few other diners noticing the broadcast (of the tennis match on the iPad). The tennis enthusiasts were at the table for quite a bit longer than our typical diners. They were cordial, but from my vantage point, somewhat oblivious to the effect their actions might have on the environment, atmosphere and experience of others.”
I get it. Still, an iPad or Game Boy (on mute!) to keep the kids entertained — for example — would probably be welcome by fellow diners and staff, not discouraged.
It seems a suitably Emily Post-type issue for the digital age. It’s generally not considered too rude to bring a book to a restaurant. But is it a question of how long you read said book — or the fact that unless you launch into an impromptu staging of Shakespeare you’re not reading aloud?
And with restaurants using iPads for menus and wine lists, it seems kind of silly to discourage you from pulling out the same device — or perhaps they should consider loading some entertainment on the house devices.
What do you think?
Via SF Gate. Hat tip to our own Traci Dauphin, who always comes correct.
Nicole Martinelli is a San Francisco freelance writer who heads up Cult of Mac Magazine, our weekly publication available on iTunes. You can find her on Twitter and Google+. If you’re doing something new, cool and Apple-related, email her.
73 responses to “Manners 2.0: is it rude to watch your iPad at a restaurant?”
Smoking hurts and bothers people, maybe even causing death. An iPad… is an iPad.
that server needs to get their head out of their ass and be thankful that they’re getting business in this economy. it would be different if someone whipped out a 3,000 page book after only ordering a cup of tea, holding up a table.
Just be glad they chose to watch it at your restaurant!! The extra time they spend watching might equate to more drinks or food! Plus as long as it doesn’t disturb anyone else in the restaurant (in a negative way) then I don’t see the problem.
Has this server yelled at the sun for being too bright recently?
I disagree with the former commenters — IMO, reading content on an iPad or watching WITH EARBUDS would be fine. Broadcasts with sound, not so much. Shared content at a table would also seem a bit rude to me — i.e., I’d expect someone to be reading only if they were dining alone or their companion had stepped away. Watching something together…dude, stay home and watch on your 60″, m’kay?
My family uses the iPad, iPhones and iPods while waiting in lines or waiting for our food at the table. We could be watching movies, playing games, or other things as a family. That is one of the reasons we go out. A lot of times our schedules overlap so when we get family time we make it fun.
However when our food gets to the table, we usually put the devices away. If someone uses their devices at another time, it doesn’t bother me.
I think it’s sort of horrible. Maybe one table is not such a big deal, but imagine being surrounded by people watching movies and TV shows at their tables, with or without sound, as you’re trying to eat and socialize. It would be terribly distracting and probably screw up the restaurant’s turnover, as well.
i’ve seen similar situations here in NYC. Its annoying if it seems like they are lingering longer than usual. And its doubling annoying when they have the volume low. If you’re going to do something like that at least keep it to yourself.
I think it’s fine, If you use it to check mail, etc. If you want to watch TV, why not do it at home.
If personal entertainment devices start to disturb the mood of a place like a restaurant, I can see why the guy is upset. The state of the economy could be used to play rugby in a first class place. But that’s not how it works. That would actually ruin the concept of such a place. What’s wrong with using some common sense now and then. One can actually smell and feel if the use of personal entertainment devices over a longer period of time would be appropriate.Just try it once in a while, it’s fun!
I usually watch Hulu at Denny’s. All the old people are impressed and never seen an iPad before. The waiters don’t seem to have an issue. But this is only Denny’s. Don’t go to high class restaurants enough.
One more thing! :)
That sentence has got me a little stuck”Still, an iPad or Game Boy (on mute!) to keep the kids entertained — for example — would probably be welcome by fellow diners and staff, not discouraged.”Why not try to keep the kids entertained by talking to them?That’s how I grew up.Mainly because there were no affordable gadgets like iPods back then.
The question that has been posed is an age old question – Is it rude to be a regular patron at a restaurant, and do more than just eat there and drink your two refills and go. (Preferably after paying your bill, of course.) A number of Waffle Houses down south have had in place, for a few years now, a set of rules which I find annoying. 1. If you are dinning alone, you are not allowed to use a table, regardless of how much space you may be intending to take up with your laptop, sketch book and pencils, school books and notebooks etc. And 2. If you are planning on staying around for a while, you have now been put on a timer. You have forty-five minutes from the time the bill hits your table (whether you’ve paid it or not), and if you drink more than three cokes or cups of coffee, each drink thereafter will be charged to your bill (totally ignoring the free refills policy).
From Wa-Ho’s point of view, you’re holding up the table, and making it hard for them to earn
more money off of your table.
From my point of view, they are being completely unreasonable. I can understand how a table of six, all of whom just rolled in, and only ordered coffee so far is only going to net you about $8 and whatever tips they give you. But hear me out.
When up north I usually frequent Denny’s instead, I come in at a late hour, usually around eleven p.m. and don’t leave until the shift change at roughly 8 a.m. and say my hello’s and good-byes to the morning crew. Why do I do this? I am a college student, and a writer. I spend VAST amounts of time sitting in front of a laptop, or my iPad, plugging away at whatever it is that is holding my attention at that moment. I listen to loud abusive music, or fast techno-beats, while typing. Sometimes, I need a break a quick episode of some T.V. show or cartoon is in order. Whether I am with friends, my significant other, or just by my lonesome, I always wear headphones of some variety in order to “mind my mobile manners”.
This practice benefits me by giving me a place where I can drain the well dry of it’s Coca-Cola supply for roughly a buck ninety, and usually some good rememberable, albeit random, memories tend to occur while there. And above all else, I usually leave there having done a good amount of work (or play), and feel better for having done so.
This practice of mine also benefits the dinner I’m in for this reason. If I were at home, doing this volume of work that I have planned for any particular all-nighter, what’s going to happen? I’m going to get really hungry at some point. I’m going to start craving all sorts of illogical things. Burgers and a side of pancakes, a chocolate shake and some cheese sticks, etc etc. I can’t make those things for myself at home and manage to get any work done. So, I will go to Denny’s instead. Tip the waitress very well, and probably order two different meals, and snacks, while I work the night away. Sure, I’ve held down a table for 10 hours, but the truth is in those ten hours I’ve probably ordered enough food and tipped well enough to pay for what three people would have paid in the same amount of time.
So, my final message to your waiter from the above post is this; it would be rude if they were being loud. It would be rude if they stayed for as long as I tend to at denny’s when you are a HIGH volume restaurant that is NOT a dinner like Denny’s and Wa-Ho, however, if you serve alcohol, and if you do I’m sure it’s ten times more expensive than what I’d pay to get drunk at home, just let them stay the extra forty-five minutes, watch the game with them a little, and encourage the happy-hour special or whatever it is. By taking a small interest in their self-interested-behavior, you could potentially milk them for snacks, appetizers, and drinks sales that most people would never be tempted by, and even possibly make a huge tip for being so nice when they know they may have been bending the etiquette rules just a bit.
“If you want to watch TV, why not do it at home.”
What if you are traveling?
“as you’re trying to eat and socialize”
What if you’re loud conversation is more annoying than someone watching a tennis match?
The rules are fluid of course.
It wasn’t that long ago that you weren’t allowed to bring kids into restaurants without asking, although you’d get punched for even suggesting that to any of today’s mothers.
I would say anything with audio is a total no-no whether it’s an iPad or anything else. The rest depends on your dining companion.
This would be extremely rude without earbuds or earphones in.
You don’t mention it, but I assume that you make sure the sound is muted or that earbuds are used.
We keep our noise levels down to those equal with other tables. Most of the time while we’re waiting for our food, we play air hockey or air bowling on the iPad.
If you out for fine dinning( $100.00 a plate and up) then no iPod, iPad, Crying babies or any of that sort of thing. Sorry Moms but no one wants to hear a child crying as they eat lobster or steak at that price because thats why your out yes! If your out at a diner or below bring an Xbox.
But is it rude to play on the iPad while Obama is talking?
Technology is irrelevant. The person may be reading a book, doing homework, or any other number of things too.
If someone holds up a table for any reason and other customers are waiting, ask him to leave.
i can’t believe this ,I just got a $829.99 iPad2 for only $103.37 and my mom got a $1499.99 HDTV for only $251.92, they are both coming with USPS tomorrow. I would be an idiot to ever pay full retail prices at places like Walmart or Bestbuy. I sold a 37″ HDTV to my boss for $600 that I only paid $78.24 for. I use http://xub.me/ab
Well, if you would like to watch TV, try to find a place where it would be fine to do so, maybe the hotel room. Try to imagine you are taking this wonderful girl out for a rendezvous. You want it to be a special, romantic place, but once you get there, it turns out the place is crowded with people playing games, watching TV, working on laptops… doesn’t sound too romantic to me, but it has to be ok, it’s the economy, right? Restaurants can be a lot more than just places to grab some food – at least for some people. Respecting that rewards us all with cultural variety. Otherwise every place would be the same everywhere. What would be the point of travelling then?
Well, if you would like to watch TV, try to find a place where it would be fine to do so, maybe the hotel room. Try to imagine you are taking this wonderful girl out for a rendezvous. You want it to be a special, romantic place, but once you get there, it turns out the place is crowded with people playing games, watching TV, working on laptops… doesn’t sound too romantic to me, but it has to be ok, it’s the economy, right? Restaurants can be a lot more than just places to grab some food – at least for some people. Respecting that rewards us all with cultural variety. Otherwise every place would be the same everywhere. What would be the point of travelling?
If the patron had his earbuds in, then I think it is ok, but if the patron had the speaker on, that this is not acceptable. On that same note, if the restaurant is somewhat high-end, it is inappropriate. IMHO
As you said, maybe you should keep your romance to the hotel also. :-)
Is it rude to go to a public place and treat it like it’s your living room?
I agree. If they were watching a Tennis match then they would probably have had the sound on which would be very rude.
I *loathe* sports of any kind and lots of other people do as well. It would be extremely annoying to sit at the next table and have to listen to all the inane chatter from the commentators etc.
They need to have a special iPad section. Before the waiter shows you to your seat he should ask, “Will that be iPad or No iPad section, sir.” If the customer has an Android tablet, he should be shown the table closest to the kitchen or be asked to leave and be directed to the nearest Burger King.
So only the rich can enjoy a peaceful, quiet dinner out and everyone else can eat in a chaotic mess?
Ya, that sounds perfectly reasonable.
As long as you are spending money and keep stuff to yourself I could careless. I like music while I eat so I normally turn to my phone and headphones.
at mcdonalds it would be ok..but I go dining to meet with the other person, not with my iPad
Pay attention to the time and place, boys and girls, use your common sense and a healthy pinch of judgement. Is there a kids menu at the restaurant? If so, the iPad is probably OK. Are you using it to keep your toddler entertained and quiet? Probably OK. Does your meal automatically come with a choice of soup or salad? Probably OK. Are there more entrees priced over $25 than under? Probably not OK. Is the average diner dressed in better than jeans and a t-shirt? Probably not OK. Are you on a date? Almost certainly not OK. And lastly, annoying the table next to you is almost never OK, so keep the volume off, and please keep the screen dimmed enough not to disturb others, especially in dimly light dining rooms.
provided the sound is on mute, then always acceptable. if you can afford the restaurant, there is zero reason you should be prohibited from using your smartphone/ipad/etc while there. get over it people.
That’s equivalent to dropping a portable TV in the middle of the table, which is not generally acceptable. If you’re reading an e-book, or surfing while alone, that’s fine. But a multimedia entertainment system foisted on your dining neighbors is not acceptable.
If you want to eat dinner and watch the US Open, go to a sports bar.
Then it’s worse. But neither is acceptable if you don’t see Buffalo Wings on the menu.
Yeah! I don’t know how often I’ve travelled and lamented the lack of restaurants where you could enjoy both a meal AND watching the big game on a giant screen TV. You’d think someone would have invented a place like that long ago.
Oh, on the other hand, if some jackass waiter starts acting like my friends and I are “abusing” their hospitality by lingering over coffee and conversation, s/he can expect the same abuse in their tip, and in my taking my business elsewhere. Part of enjoying dinner is relaxing afterward, not rushing out the door so a rude waiter can maximise his tips using Volume!, instead of quality of service.
It’s perfectly fine to bring a book to dinner, especially if you’re by yourself.