Beginning just moments after the shocking end of last week’s episode of True Blood, the final season’s second-to-last entry tightens down on the remaining relationships: Sookie and Bill. Hoyt and Jessica. Eric and Pam (and Ginger!). Jason and new girl. A little Lafayette and James, a tiny smattering of Arlene and Keith. Couples are the way to go in Bon Temps.
Once again, we’ve got character dialogue that sounds like a love letter to the fans from the writers of this HBO-powered vampire drama that airs Sunday nights.
“As much as I appreciate compelling character drama,” says Pam in full sarcasm mode, “but the Yakuza are upstairs, so need I remind you to keep it the f*ck down, volume-wise?”
Spoilers below, so don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Bill still won’t take the cure. He’s resolved himself to his fate. “I’m choosing the true death,” he says.
Sookie and Jessica aren’t having any of it. Sookie slaps the crap out of Bill’s face. Eric stops the final slap, tells Bill to leave.
Jessica wants to be released. Bill apologizes to Jessica for turning her in the first place, and tells her he’s very proud of the vampire she’s become. “As your maker, Jessica,” says Bill, “I release you.”
Cellos. Tears of blood. Opening credits.
Season 7, Episode 9, “Love Is To Die”
Written by: Brian Buckner
Directed by: Howard Deutch
Sookie and Jessica head on over to Sam’s house. It’s empty; he’s out of there. At least he left a note — he and Nicole went up to Chicago to have the baby, get out of the crazy.
The ladies head to Bellefleur’s. Sookie sees Arlene, Jessica sees James and LaFayette. Arlene’s having a party to bring in the customers. Andy’s there, Holli, Big John.
James apologizes to Jessica for being with Lafayette. Jessica apologizes to James, and admits to not knowing much about him, and never asking. She’s happy for the two men. Then she races off to find Hoyt, because Hoyt.
Bridgette is doing dishes while Hoyt sits in a chair with a beer and watching racing. Bridgette is pissed off that Hoyt doesn’t want to have kids. Hoyt’s just not there, yet. Bridgette starts up with some jealousy about Jessica and confronts Hoyt about going to see Jessica. Of course Jess shows up in the middle of the fight. Jessica owns up to glamouring Hoyt way back.
Bridgette gives Hoyt an ultimatum – Hoyt chooses Jessica. Hoyt and Jess are back! Yes!
Jason Stackhouse is eating mac and cheese out of a pot, like we’ve all done. Bridgette calls for his help. “Saddle up, Bridgette,” he says, “‘cause things are about to get a whole lot messier when I get there. I’m on my way.”
Sookie at the bar – big group around a central table. Arlene checks in on Sookie off by herself. Sookie tells Arlene about giving Bill Hep V. “How do you do it,” Sookie asks Arlene, “keep movin’ on?” Arlene reminds her that her dead husband came to her in a death-vision and told her to. Duh.
There’s a knock over at the Compton place. Bill limps over to answer the door. It’s Eric, here to tell Bill to not die. Don’t die, Bill. Don’t be so nihilistic. Get over yourself, Bill.
Bill explains the “fever dreams” of rocking the dark void-baby to sleep. “Sookie had given birth to death,” says Bill. He’s lied to her, threatened her, and almost raped her, but she keeps coming back. Bill’s going to die to set her free. Awww, Bill. So emo.
Jason shows up at Hoyt’s mom’s place, sirens blazing. Hoyt punches the deputy and lays him out flat. Next scene, Bridgette is driving Jason to the hospital. Jason says to skip it — five minutes out ain’t nothing. Jason suggests they go to his place. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. But, he says no sex tonight. Bridgette barely protests, but Jason says, “Trust me, Bridgette, it needed to be said.”
Back to Sarah Newland, aka Numi, in the Fangtasia dungeon. Yakuza come down the stairs, pick her up, and drag her upstairs. Pam’s standing there as the Yakuza throw Sarah into a chair. “I’m taking you back to blonde,” says Pam, holding a bowl of hair coloring. What?
Bridgette is on the phone, trying to get home to Anchorage. Jason southerns all over the airfare lady to help Bridgette get home. They make some googly eyes at each other. Jason heads to the living room and puts some frozen peas on his crotch, which is apparently the southern version of taking a cold shower.
Jessica and Hoyt continue their conversation, while Hoyt has a bag of frozen veggies on his hand. To keep the swelling down, of course. Jessica tells Hoyt he’s the man for him, and he tells her that she can heal him, if she wants to. Woo woo!
Back to Pam – she takes off the gag, glamours Sarah into not screaming. Pam and Sarah have a little chin wag. Pam tells Sarah the plan about using the cure to keep vampires addicted.
Bridgette comes out and finds Jason with the peas on his crotch. She’s really hungry. All Jason has is beer, and those peas, obviously. Bridgette takes him up on the beer. Jason tells her that Math was hard, girls were not. Jason tells Bridgette the story of Jessica, Hoyt, and himself, while we intercut with Jessica and Hoyt having the sexy times. Jason says what we all knew: “Hoyt and Jessica belong together.”
End of the meal at Bellefleur’s, and Eric shows up to talk to Sookie. He’s there to plead Bill’s case with Sookie, to encourage her to let Bill talk to her and explain why he’s choosing the true death.
“Death is scary, i’ve been avoiding it for a thousand years,” says Eric, just before he flies Sookie over to Bill’s house.
Jason and Bridgette lie on the bed together, not having sex. It’s like a slumber party with a clueless homeschooled kid (Jason) who has to be taught how to interact. Bridgette admits to cheating on a test, and Jason admits to liking the color pink. She asks for something deeper. Jason says, “I really really want kids.” But, he’s afraid if he has a daughter, she might meet a horn-dog like him. Bridgette says anyone would be lucky to meet a boy like Jason. The love is flowing.
Ginger gives Eric some shit about not ever telling her that he’s dying. Eric angrily offers to sleep with Ginger to make it up to her. Our Eric is growing up! Being nice to people! They have them some hot frottage on the Fangtasia throne, and Ginger loses it when she has an orgasm, falling off the throne in bliss, only to fall asleep. “Goodnight, Ginger” says Eric and heads downstairs.
Mr. Gus is back. He’s got Pam tied down with silver chains, under a stake ready to drop and help her meet the true death. Mr. Gus is tired of Eric’s lies; he knows Eric told Sookie about Sarah Newland’s blood. Eric relents, and tells Mr. Gus where Sookie lives. We’re still not sure why Pam colored Sarah’s hair.
Bill arrives at Sookie’s house. Cut to black as he knocks, to the sounds of Warpaint’s “Love Is To Die.”