Can there be any clearer way to say “Don’t breed with me” to a lady than to wear these dorky keyboard jeans? Named Beauty and the Geek, the QWERTY-toting pants come from Dutch design duo Erik de Nijs and Tim Smit, who look like pretty normal guys. The pants, however, seem designed less for wearing and more for tech bloggers to write jokes about.
The rubbery keyboard is plastered across the wearer’s crotch, meaning that these things should never really be used in public. The keyboard is wireless, and the back right pocket contains a mouse. Over the thighs sit embedded speakers, and the jeans come with a USB dongle to let the whole lot communicate with your computer.
And don’t even get me started on washing these things. You’d stink like a hobo inside of a few weeks of use, especially if you’re hitting the “Enter” key a little to often.
The irony is that, without the tech, these are pretty cool-looking jeans, with a nice cut and orange stitching inspired by circuit boards. The pants are a one-off, though: de Nijs and Smit say they’re way too complicated to put into production, and would come out at around $400 if they did.