Woohoo! A bumper issue of WTF iPhone Apps this week, thanks to the ever-increasing avalanche of bobbins and foonity spewing forth from the App Store.
Let’s not dally! Onwards! With the craziness!
First up this week is Angry Scot: “Learn the Scottish way to say No! This application will help you summon your inner Scotsman to give you the courage (and words) to solve your problems in these trying times. Each response is carefully crafted and then spoken by an authentic Scots person in his native tongue.”
Daft, but we can live with it. Can things get worse? You bet they can. We’ve not even started yet.
What’s this? Why, it’s Manpoke: “Poke this guy and see how he takes it! ever wanted to just poke the daylights out of someone? now you can! with ManPoke, you can get out your anger, frustration, and general irritation whenever you want! just poke, poke, poke!”
That’s right kids! Poke him! Poke him! Kill the pig, cut his throat, do him in! Coming soon: Manhitwithabluntinstrument, for when you’re REALLY frustrated.
Next!
Salt Shaker: “If you love salt, you’ll love Salt Shaker. Just shake your device to “shake” salt onto your meal or throw it over your shoulder. The shaker moves, makes noise and has that good ol’ diner-style look.”
Apparently it does pepper, too.
More!
iPet Rock: “Your pet can perform a number of tricks to impress you and your friends. Stay – Tell your pet to stay. Watch as it doesn’t move.”
I’m running out of sarcasm now. This thing costs a dollar. Members of the jury, I need hardly remind you that WE ARE IN A GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS. But I will anyway.
Next. Sigh.
Hunk Du Jour: “Our tastefully represented selection of men run the gamut from actors to male models, shirtless athletes to tuxedo-clad cover boys. Flip back through the hunks of the past two weeks or click on image credit to go to the original sources. What you do with our guys is then entirely up to you…”
Please. Someone make it stop. Please. At least this one’s free.
Finally! The end! Ladies and gentlemen (but mainly gentlemen), I give you… iPee:
“Have a bashful bladder? You’re not alone. Thousands and thousands of others just like you find themselves in situations where, no matter how much you have to go, you just CAN’T. And the more you think about it, the more difficult it is to go. Face it, we’ve all been there before. We hope iPee can help. It is a simple psychological and fun tool that presents images and/or sounds of various water scenes to kick-start you into taking care of your business. Choose from Waterfall, Hydrant, or any of our other 7 water-flow options! Unique sounds for each flow, but if you’re predicament is a little TOO public, feel free to silence the sound and simply enjoy the visual flow!”
That really is one of the app’s official screenshots up there.
That’s it, that’s enough. Can’t stand any more.
Seen worse? Cringed more? Let us know. Good grief.
