We’re apparently about 10 minutes away from Woz’s second dance here on the West Coast. Stay tuned in these parts for my coverage. But keep your eyes shut for awhile — I just had to witness Jewel’s cowboy husband quick-stepping to Tom Cochrane’s “Life is a Highway.”
NOTE FROM WOZ: “I had my new All Star sneakers on. They put suede on the bottom so that they can slide. The first time through they slipped twice so I stepped in some goo that helps. The next time through they only slipped once and just barely.”
I need Chuck Taylors with suede soles!
8:50 p.m.: Gymnast Shawn Johnson is being profiled in the world’s blandest behind-the-scenes segment. We’re almost to Woz! (Edit: Good lord, Shawn is orange!)
8:54 p.m.: Italian judge Bruno just announced that he would have liked Shawn’s routine to be more “notey.” I think. I think that over-tanning was plenty “notey” enough.
8:56 p.m.: We’re getting a flashback to Woz’s last week. He began by putting on a pair of plastic glasses held together with nerd tape.
8:56 p.m. Woz is dancing his heart out in rehearsal, still in black socks. And this caused him to break his foot! Doctor’s quote: “You’re crushing your foot.”
8:57 p.m. Woz will defy doctor’s orders and dance the quick-step! And he just flipped his partner over his back! And he has a ridiculous fifties hair.
8:58 p.m. Um…Woz, it’s called a “quick” step. That’s more of a stately step.
8:58 p.m. He’s picking it up a bit now, although he’s not really in sync with his partner. And there go the herky-jerky knee-hand wave! And he finished lying on the ground.
8:59 p.m. Kathy Griffin is in the audience! Awkward.
9:00 p.m. The judge likes Buddy Holly. He says America loves the antics.
9:00 p.m. LeeAnn, female judge, notes “I love watching you! Even when I’m saying, ‘What is he doing, why are they so far apart?'” She’s marking him down for lack of endurance.
9:01 p.m. Bruno: “Steve, you remind me of WALL*E! A bit rusty around the edges, in need of spare parts, but very resilient and incredibly charming.”
9:01 p.m. Steve, awkwardly: “Come down and dance with me!”
9:02 p.m. Post dance interview with host: “How is your foot, should you be dancing on it?” Steve: “I’ve only had one aspirin in five days; and I didn’t feel I ran out of steam.”
9:02 p.m. Final score: 17, an improvement of four from last week’s ludicrously low 13.
9:03 p.m. And that’s it, taking us out with a “judges been drinkin’!” joke from Tom Bergeron. Remember to vote!
https://abc.go.com/primetime/dancingwiththestars/index?pn=aboutthevote
Pete Mortensen is a design strategist for consulting firm Jump Associates and the co-author of Wired to Care: How Companies Prosper When They Create Widespread Empathy, a book and blog that are significantly more interesting than you might initially think. Pete’s particular Apple avocations are both around design–interface and industrial. Follow him on Twitter!
