Jon Prosser’s eyebrows are officially toast.
Prosser, the serial Apple leaker with a big personality and a seemingly deep field of sources inside Cupertino, pledged to shave his eyebrows if we didn’t get an Apple event on March 23.
Well that day has come. And the Apple event didn’t. So he took a trimmer to his precious eyebrows in the most Prosser way possible — on YouTube, with a solid sense of humor (and a charity to boot).
Jon Prosser: Apple leaker
Prosser screamed onto the Apple leaks scene last year, although he started his YouTube show Front Page Tech in 2013. He made waves with a series of accurate predictions (and some crazy-sounding ones).
During an appearance on Cult of Mac’s podcast The CultCast, Prosser recounted stories that make it sound like he has access to inside information that any tech journalist would die for. Prosser’s record at AppleTrack currently stands at 78.2%, although that should drop due to the March 23 event mistake.
He always delivers his scoops on Front Page Tech and Twitter with a giant lashing of laughs. If you like your tech news entertaining rather than dry, Prosser’s irreverent delivery is hard to beat.
Prosser’s eyebrows pay for missing March 23 Apple event
Tuesday’s episode of Front Page Tech was no exception. It opened with dramatic music and a recap of the leaker’s solemn oath to commit a facial-hair atrocity if he didn’t nail the date of Apple’s product launch.
“I am so sure, that if you don’t get an event on March 23, I will shave off my eyebrows,” Prosser intoned in the clip from the archives. “I’ll do it. I’ll do it right here for you, on this show.”
Then the video cut to the present and a wincing Prosser, apparently resigned to his fate.
“Oh god, yep,” he said. “Today is that day.”
The episode continued, with Prosser serving up various tech news and rumors with his typical mix of insight and toilet humor. The climax came at the end, with Prosser firing up the clippers at around the 10-minute mark. He also turned the amateur barber session into a fundraiser for Wigs for Kids, a nonprofit that connects young cancer patients with hair pieces. You can donate to Wigs for Kids via PayPal.)
“I’m gonna do it!” he yelled. “For the kids! For the kids!”
And then he did the deed (after some theatrical hemming and hawing). Watch Prosser’s latest buzz-worthy video below. If nothing else, it’s a pretty hilarious footnote in Apple history.
Apple’s next event set for April?
Nearly a decade ago, Apple CEO Tim Cook said the company would double down on secrecy. But these days, Apple leaks remain a thriving cottage industry.
Still, the company does appear to be taking action to plug the holes. Earlier this month, Apple sued Simon Lancaster, a former Apple materials engineer. The lawsuit alleges that Lancaster leaked “details of unreleased Apple hardware products, unannounced feature changes to existing hardware products, and future product announcements” to an unnamed member of the media.
Some even posited that the March 23 date, which several prominent leakers went public with, was disinformation deliberately sown by Apple to flush out journalists’ sources.
You can imagine Cook being completely livid every time leaks spoil an Apple event. And bigwigs in Cupertino are probably laughing at Prosser’s newly denuded brow.
Now the big question is, will Prosser’s eyebrows grow back in time for Apple’s next event? The latest rumor (from Prosser) says Apple will unveil new products — possibly including iPads and the long-rumored AirTags — at an event in April.