Think Different With Network Names

1:53 am, October 15th, 2008, Giles Turnbull

You know what it’s like when you’re strolling around looking for networks. They’re all the same. They’re all called “belkin54″ or “NETGEAR” or “BTHomeHub”. So generic. So default.

What we really need is networks with imaginative names. Names like “Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem”, as screenshotted here by Flickr user Ingridesign.

I’m now inspired to change my network name from the stupendously dull “16spring” to “The Network That Performs Somersaults”.

Is your network called something interesting? Something better than “Vicious Evil Network of Mayhem”? Do share.

Oh, and another thing: apparently someone announced some new laptops yesterday. You might want to look that up if you’re interested.

(Picture used with permission. Thanks to Ingrid!)

Posted by Giles Turnbull in Humor, News, Top stories | Comment on this article

About the author

Giles Turnbull is a freelance writer in England. He is a columnist for PA, and has written for the BBC, Guardian, Daily Telegraph, MacUser, Macworld, and The Morning News. He has a blog you can ignore and a Twitter account you needn't follow.

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85 comments

radiationapparat

markey, on October 15th, 2008 at 2:07 am

My network is called cheshirecat, my iMac is named Alice, my hackintosh server Queen of Hearts, my EeePC laptop madhatter, and my iPhone is called The Looking Glass. I keep a theme.

mbarriault, on October 15th, 2008 at 2:22 am

Holonet (5Ghz)
Scarlet (2,4Ghz)

Thomas, on October 15th, 2008 at 2:36 am

My network is called “unwired”. Took from “Serial Experiments Lain” .)

Eimantas, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:11 am

Mine are currently known as “The Hollow” and “The Fade”. Some will recognise immediately what they refer to. Previously, I used my wireless network names to insult my neighbours, whom I had something of a dislike for, since everyone can see everyone else’s network in my little corner of town. The day they moved away I changed it to a rather bluer version of “Good bye and good riddance”. Other names from the dim and distant past have been “Don’t come near me; I’ve got the palsy” and “Moya”. My neighbours are currently using “Simply the best” and “Rabbits”. The mind boggles.

Matthew Smith, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:16 am

Mine’s called “42Net”. I’ll let you to your digging to find out why. (Hints: Apple.)

In the past, it has been seen with such names as “Don’t even think about it”, “My bandwidth is bigger than yours” and stuff like that.

Lionel, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:51 am

My network is called: “connect for viruses”

gear, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:53 am

I always hated those “Linksys”, “Router”, “D-Link” network names. So i changed mine to “Picapau Amarelo” (it’s a childrens book, by Brazilian author, which i really liked as a kid, but now i like the Portuguese-ish name) and other one to “Gazapa Blanca Royale” (meaning White royal bunny, in courtesy of my girlfriend )

My friend, who lives in an apartment building, named his network “gausais” which in english means “sluggish”, so one is even temped to connect to it

Jealousy, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:55 am

A network in an old neighbourhood of mine was:

“The House Of Trouser”

I think students lived there.

Steve, on October 15th, 2008 at 4:09 am

My favourite find so far was called “Get off my LAN”!

Matt Gibson, on October 15th, 2008 at 4:10 am

I have 2 networks setup one being an Wireless N that is locked down and the other is my open network. I call my open G network $4.99 a Minute Wifi and my N network $5.99 a Minute Wifi. I figure that people who don’t know much about wifi won’t leach off of it, but if I have people in my house I can tell them to use it. I doubt it really works but its still funy

Jason, on October 15th, 2008 at 4:25 am

For the last 7 years or so I have always named my wireless connection the “Degobah System”.

Nick, on October 15th, 2008 at 4:55 am

My network is named “The Arcade”, my computer is named “Donkey Kong” and one of my external drives is named “Robotron”. I love video games and use to manage an arcade.

Cyxodus, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:00 am

mine is called ohmsweetohm

mine is called, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:01 am

I was listening to Queen while I set me network up so it is aptly named Mercury.

Nick, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:02 am

netmonkey

Eric, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:05 am

Ours is simply called “Get off the grass”

tim, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:13 am

Mine is “waking up the neighbours”

B-Art, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:19 am

“The Orchard”, geddit? Orchard…Apples…Orchard…
When I first got my Airport Exreme i named it “GrannySmithRocks”, sounded kinda Appley. I call my wireless mouse, Jerry and the keyboards called Liberace.

G101, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:20 am

Hubba Bubba was the name of mine

Wylie, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:31 am

Anyone bringing a laptop to my house gets to join the “Penguin Party.”

I don’t know what it means, but I thought it sounded fun and inviting. (Still have a password on it, though!)

Jeff, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:34 am

My current name for my network is “Area 51.” I really like the ring it has

William, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:39 am

Someone in my building is using, ‘drzoidburg’ whereas I have opted for the particularly geeky ‘TARDIS.’ I felt obligated, being a Whovian, that when using a Time Capsule the network name ought to be an homage to The Doctor.

PKSullivan, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:40 am

My network is Neverland Ranch.
My friends’s is Bon Jovi’s Family Network

Ryan, on October 15th, 2008 at 6:05 am

Mine is “The Flying Mule”.

Steve, on October 15th, 2008 at 6:16 am

My AirPort Extreme is named ‘Alpha Moonbase’. I have an AirPort Express linked to it named ‘Mos Eisley’. I see someone else’s network named ‘kamioftheshadetree2′ just now, hadn’t seen that before…

I have an external hd named ‘The Tardis’. w00t!

110rdr33f4, on October 15th, 2008 at 6:17 am

VIRUS_WARNING has always worked pretty well at keeping the leeches off..

carlspackler, on October 15th, 2008 at 6:22 am

WU-TANG-LAN – love the hiphop

BOB, on October 15th, 2008 at 6:28 am

I hide the SID and call my network: nowyouseeme

blakecr, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:04 am

Im a transformers geek so mine is called ‘teletraan-I’. i am too sad…

Marc, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:09 am

I name mine “Virus Server” so that anyone that stumbles upon it will think twice before trying to connect.

Carl, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:11 am

I use to see a network called Asian Twinkie Porn in my previous neighborhood. Mine is currently called I’ve Got Lazer Eyes.

Ian, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:30 am

I call mine virus_pxw01 i convince myself it will keep windows users away from my network

minuek, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:50 am

My neighbors network name is “gonorrhea”. Cracks me up every time.

brian, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:53 am

Mine is called “Proud Puco Land,” which, I’m rhymes with “Cloud Cuckoo Land.” This all made sense once.

Pete Mortensen, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:58 am

My network is called Chimichangas, but I changed my friends network at home to be FunkyButtLove.

Ryan, on October 15th, 2008 at 8:13 am

“Dead Man’s Drop” is my network. When I was a kid, we had a steep hill in my neighborhood, and another kid remarked that anyone who fell down it would be dead, so it became known as Dead Man’s Drop.

Chris Winn, on October 15th, 2008 at 8:16 am

mine is “standing69″

mini vanilli, on October 15th, 2008 at 8:38 am

Just to be cute I call mine “closed”, but the daughter of a friend called theirs “bitchhouse”

Chris, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:05 am

seriously mine is “standing69″

MINI VANILLI, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:06 am

Mine is called “Stadtkarnickel”, german for “city rabbit”.

It’s also an homage to an old children LP called “Mimmelitt das Stadtkarnickel”.

spinnerlys, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:07 am

you are going to ban me from posting comments because i answered your question. my wireless network is called “standing69″. if you cant publish the answer….don’t ask the question.

MINI VANILLI, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:09 am

“Enlightenment”

Church of Apple, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:10 am

please disregard last comment …IF…. last entry gets posted of course.

MINI VANILLI, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:11 am

Router 1 – iThink therefore iMac
Router 2 – iMac therefore iAm

Scott, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:31 am

Communications Unlimited..
is mine.

Thomas, on October 15th, 2008 at 9:43 am

Mine says, “Free Porn Download Here”.

Jack, on October 15th, 2008 at 10:28 am

Mine is called,

“NOT this Network”

Kevin Spencer, on October 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am

Mine’s named Richard.

Brian, on October 15th, 2008 at 12:21 pm

I ALWAYS set up my and my friends servers to the same simple message:

F$#KOFF – Not Authorized to Steal

And I NEVER leave networks open. ALWAYS make it require a MAC address first

Gergith, on October 15th, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Soon after my network was given the name “Naked Lesbians,” a neighbor somewhere in my apt building chose the name “Hot sex.”

Evan, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

I set my parents’ home wifi network up which is located next to a marina. I called it: “IP on your boat”.

Matt, on October 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pm

mine is called muthaf***ingfalcoandshi*.

james, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:14 pm

“Rubicon”

As in, don’t cross it.

Ryan, on October 15th, 2008 at 5:42 pm

Seinfeld Extreme

James, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:12 pm

mine’s is Skynet

Ray, on October 15th, 2008 at 7:14 pm

I have two wireless networs: Guybrush & Threepwood
(From the Monkey Island games)

Don Pope, on October 15th, 2008 at 8:10 pm

“Nowhere”

&e, on October 15th, 2008 at 8:27 pm

My neighbours’ one is called “Easy Gay Boys”

Horses, on October 15th, 2008 at 11:40 pm

There’s a network in my building called “Get Off My Network” which I think is pretty neat.

Unfortunately, a lot of the providers in England lock down the router so you cannot change the network

Mike, on October 16th, 2008 at 12:51 am

I lived in a house with three other guys. Our network was named after our home, the “Kilbasa Lounge”. I’ll leave that as it is.

Glen, on October 16th, 2008 at 1:22 am

“La_Casa_Del_Vinello” which can be loosely translated from italian as “The house of the good cheap wine”.

javanni, on October 16th, 2008 at 2:16 am

Back in my (dark) days as a network manager, i named my servers with, well, names. Everyone’s favorite was Elvis. It made management a lot easier. When there was a problem it wasn’t with “HP1″ or “Apps3″ or NetServer.” Anthropomorphizing, “We’re having a problem with Bob’s firewall NIC” or “Chuck’s RAID is reporting problems” was a real help pinpointing and resolving problems. Mildly entertaining too.

And my home network is named… belkin54g. The damn thing wouldn’t run any management from my mac.

imajoebob, on October 16th, 2008 at 6:53 am

My home network is called No Network Available. This inspired a friend to name his Input Error.

different computers, on October 16th, 2008 at 8:10 am

Josef Frtizl’s secret dungeon.

Herr Fritzl, on October 16th, 2008 at 8:53 am

Mine is “Butt Chateau”…

GDom, on October 16th, 2008 at 1:47 pm

our comic relating to this topic…

http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/1083.html

Snaggy, on October 16th, 2008 at 3:48 pm

My home network is “no hackers here”, and my daughter’s is “here either”. Everything is locked with a WEP password, which is sufficient on this street.
A long time ago, before even Ethernet, I had a friend who named his AppleTalk printer “Screaming butt monkeys from hell”. Those who remember the dialogue boxes in Mac OS 6 & 7 can remember that the computer would lock during printing and the dialogue would read “Waiting for . . .”
So his computer could be seen displaying “Waiting for Screaming butt monkeys from hell” much of the time.
Too bad you need to search for a network’s name, now.

intrrnet, on October 16th, 2008 at 7:10 pm

I named my router the Informational Hub, and my friend named his network Smoke Signals… My computer is named Lewanda, and my HTC Mogul is the Evil Companion My external back up hard drive is named GlaDOS…

Xirtam, on October 17th, 2008 at 6:58 am

My main one is called “Atlantis” after one of my favourite TV shows and my Airport Express is called “Kitchen” because thats where it is

Sean, on October 17th, 2008 at 11:07 am

Maelstro

fred, on October 17th, 2008 at 4:59 pm

our network is called BOO BEES

TarraguÃƒÂ±a, on October 18th, 2008 at 8:40 am

My network has been called “Those Damn Dogs”, password: antifreeze.

A little joke we played with our neighbors who have some bastard dogs.

Jamie, on October 18th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

My network is now “Get off my LAN”. Thanks for that, Matt Gibson!

willie, on October 18th, 2008 at 2:41 pm