You know how you really, really love your significant other? And how you like to remind him/her of just how important they are to you by sending sweet little messages to them every day? Well, now there’s an app for that, letting even the most forgetful, self-centered idiot make himself look like the most romantic person in the world. Behold, Romantimatic, probably the first app ever to combine pink and cogs into a single logo.
For just $0.99, you can outsource your tender expressions of love to your fricking telephone. Set a reminder and you’ll be given the option to call or message your lover/spouse/reluctant coworker, or send a preset note. This part is my favorite, as it really lets you make as little effort as possible. And my favorite of the supplied messages is this one:
Totally swamped, but I can’t get you off my mind.
Yes, your sweetheart is so “on your mind” that you have to set a reminder just to send her a message. And lest you accidentally send the same empty greeting too many times, you can even browse your presets by “rarest” and “freshest.”
The more I look into this app, the more I think it must be a spoof. The most telling clue is that the settings contain a section titled “Sweetheart,” where you can change the name of your beloved and – presumably – add extra people.
I’m now convinced that this is a prank, an art project, or both. What’s sure is that it’s a real app that you can buy for a real buck, and that if your lover spots it on your home screen, you may be looking for a new lover.