Tennessee Lawyer Sues Apple For Getting Addicted To Porn On His MacBook

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In what is perhaps the most bizarre lawsuit ever filed against Apple, Tennessee lawyer Chris Sevier is seeking damages for watching “women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal” on his Apple devices. Contained within his 50-page complaint, Sevier’s proposal is that Apple ship its devices in a “safe mode” that customers would have to take steps to disable if they wanted to be naughty.

The Vanderbilt law school grad believes that it’s Apple’s responsibility to shift “the burden off of the buyers who do not want to see porn onto those who do want to see pornographic content to take the additional step.”

Above the Law reports:

Sevier’s complaint makes a simple request: Apple should sell all products with an installed filter blocking all Internet porn. If the buyer, over the age of 18, wishes to unlock the Internet, he or she is free to contact Apple, sign a form acknowledging the ills of pornography, and receive a code to remove the filter. Sevier argues that the burden must be shifted from parents to the manufacturer to sell a locked device. That sounds like a fair enough, even laudable goal. But Sevier also wants these filters installed lest the responsibility be up to *shudder* individuals exercising self-control.

Apple offers parental restrictions on OS X and iOS, but you have to turn them on manually.

Apple offers parental restrictions on OS X and iOS, but you have to turn them on manually.

For an attorney, Sevier demonstrates his ineptness at spelling multiple times with sentences like, “As human beings themselves, Apple employees know that a man is born full of harmonies and attacked to by women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal.” Another quote from his complaint:

In using safari, the Plaintiff accidentally misspelled “facebook.com” which lead him to “fuckbook.com” and a host of web sites that caused him to see pornographic images that appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and lead to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.

Sevier was placed on disability inactive status by the Tennessee Supreme Court in 2011, meaning that he can’t practice law until the court rules that he is fit to work again. He’s obviously got some issues to deal with, but Apple isn’t going to be able to help.

You can read the whole court document below, which includes gems like, “17. THE RISE OF LATE NIGHT SEX ENHANCEMENT DRUGS.” and the argument that “unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or ‘mom and pop’ porn shops.”

Chris Sevier Apple Complaint

Tennessee Lawyer Sues Apple For Getting Addicted To Porn On His MacBook

  • Bulldogger123

    In using safari, the Plaintiff accidentally misspelled “facebook.com”

    So this is Apples fault?

  • chriswtburke

    Here we have another person not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions.. Pass the buck is the name of the game in this day and age

  • tool022611

    LOL, it’s Apple’s fault the Internet has porn.

  • DoctorWhiteface

    To quote Bugs Bunny … “What A Marooon!”

  • SonsofAres

    Well, if a woman can be fired for being too attractive, then it only stands to reason a company is at fault for making a sexy computer with legs on it that will induce men to look up pornography and become addicted to it.

  • lwdesign1

    An ultra-maroon. This takes frivolous lawsuits to 11. I’m relieved to read that the Tennessee Supreme Court has put him on inactive status to prevent him from handling actual clients. In the meantime he might submit another suit against the US Meteorological Service for the sun being too hot in the afternoon.

  • Andrew Newsome

    To quote Bugs Bunny … “What A Marooon!”

    An ultra-maroon. This takes frivolous lawsuits to 11. I’m relieved to read that the Tennessee Supreme Court has put him on inactive status to prevent him from handling actual clients. In the meantime he might submit another suit against the US Meteorological Service for the sun being too hot in the afternoon.

    Do you guys mean the word “moron” ?

  • MrsCleaver

    “Tennessee Lawyer Sues Apple For Getting Addicted To Porn On His MacBook”

    What else would you expect from a lawyer, and especially one from Tennessee? Coupled with the acquittal of George Zimmerman and Texas passing the country’s strictest abortion laws (both occurring overnight while we slept), this news suggests we’re a society in serious decline.

    Just one man’s opinion, of course.

  • SarcasticMisanthrope

    Quoting the musical puppets: ” The internet is for porn, the internet is for porn…..”

  • bondr006

    Wow! Just wow….

    wow smiley photo: Wow Smiley smiley-wow.gif

  • Wirehedd

    I can imagine what a weakling and whipped little milquetoast this guy must be. To be such a loser and wimp as to think the world is stupid enough to award a clown that probably got threatened with divorce by his spouse so he figured he’d sooner let the world know what a loser he really is than pay alimony for getting caught jerking it in front of his laptop. Imagine the suit would have been against HP if he’d been using a desktop in his basement?

    This loser needs to be euthanized.

  • macstuffdaily

    Aw poor guy, you want a tissue ? … I guess they set the bar really low in Tennessee … ew what are you doing with that tissue!

  • lwdesign1
    To quote Bugs Bunny … “What A Marooon!”

    An ultra-maroon. This takes frivolous lawsuits to 11. I’m relieved to read that the Tennessee Supreme Court has put him on inactive status to prevent him from handling actual clients. In the meantime he might submit another suit against the US Meteorological Service for the sun being too hot in the afternoon.

    Do you guys mean the word “moron” ?

    Yes, the correct word is “moron” but in a Bugs Bunny cartoon many years ago, Bugs calls a bull that’s trying to gore him a “maroon” and several other insults that are all misspellings or mispronunciations of the actual words. Maroon is actually a dark brownish red color. Bugs also calls the bull an “ultramaroon” elsewhere in the cartoon, which is an even further alteration of the word “ultramarine”, which is a brilliant deep blue color. Besides maroon and ultramaroon, the best altered insult in the cartoon is when Bugs calls the bull a “nincowpoop” instead of a nincompoop (a fool or simpleton). These references are for all those kids who are younger than about 45 and never got to watch the original Bugs Bunny cartoons on Saturday mornings. This particular episode received a lot of airplay, so the kids of that era all grew up understanding Bug’s foolish and goofy insults to the bull.

  • jeffythequick

    I’m sure this guy would:

    Sue the Red Cross for his blood transfusion going to his nether regions.
    Sue Pfizer for not getting 4 hours’ use from his little blue pill.
    Sue Craigslist for not having enough buyers for his used (eww…) Macbook.
    Sue Kleenex for not thoroughly keeping his Macbook clean.
    Sue his grade/middle/high school for not teaching him that those pictures make him all tingly down there.
    Sue his parents for the same as above.
    Sue the industry that makes these movies for not using stars that would not make him all tingly.

  • TechBell

    Jerk-off. But I guess he already did.

About the author

Alex HeathAlex Heath is a senior writer at Cult of Mac and co-host of the CultCast. He has been quoted by the likes of the BBC, KRON 4 News, and books like "ICONIC: A Photographic Tribute to Apple Innovation." If you want to pitch a story, share a tip, or just get in touch, additional contact information is available on his personal site. Twitter always works too.

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