Condom-Carrying iPhone Case Guarantees You’ll Go Home Alone

An iPhone case with a condom compartment. Need I say more?
An iPhone case with a condom compartment. Need I say more?

True story: When I was around 14 years old, there was a kid who would come to school sometimes already wearing a condom. His reason? In case he suddenly got lucky. Needless to say, this never happened. If this kid is still around today, I imagine he’ll be the first in line for the Playa Case, an iPhone case which has a slide-open compartment for two condoms. Classy.

Now, a condom in your wallet I can understand: that’s just smart and responsible, and socially normal. I keep one in there until it perishes to dust, and then I replace it. But a condom-carrying iPhone case is just desperate, and in using one you will appear to prospective partners as a childish, over-eager little puppy. Let’s be blunt: You will not get laid.

But with a little modification (removing the lame “Playa” logo from the back with sandpaper, for starters), this could actually be a neat and useful case. The compartment could keep a little cash, or your keys, or even (for the nerdy) a camera connection kit for your iPad. Perfect for a night out on the town, leaving your wallet at home.

But as your wallet is at home, where do you keep your rubber? Take a look at your jeans, little man. See the little pocket on the right front side, the one that sits inside the other larger pocket like Alien’s toothy, nested mouths? That’s a condom pocket, and us old folks have been keeping our prophylactics in them since before cellphones, condom vending machines and ATMs even existed.

The Playa case is “coming” soon, for $30.

  • Grahas

    This is actually a good thing. Keeping a condom in your wallet actually destroys it. this is a step up as it protects it from physical damage, but heat damage will still be an issue. It is best to keep condoms in a cool dark place.

  • Jonathan Ober

    This is actually a good thing. Keeping a condom in your wallet actually destroys it. this is a step up as it protects it from physical damage, but heat damage will still be an issue. It is best to keep condoms in a cool dark place.

    so not inside a woman’s v*— :( but that’s the best place for them.

  • Flyphoenix

    This is stupid.

  • happysimplemodern

    Unless you go around opening the case in front of people to show off your stash of prophylactics, how is anyone going to know what’s inside it? I mean, anyone besides those of us that have read this article. The “Playa” label does suggest “delusional douchebag”, however.