Condom-Carrying iPhone Case Guarantees You’ll Go Home Alone

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An iPhone case with a condom compartment. Need I say more?
An iPhone case with a condom compartment. Need I say more?

True story: When I was around 14 years old, there was a kid who would come to school sometimes already wearing a condom. His reason? In case he suddenly got lucky. Needless to say, this never happened. If this kid is still around today, I imagine he’ll be the first in line for the Playa Case, an iPhone case which has a slide-open compartment for two condoms. Classy.

Now, a condom in your wallet I can understand: that’s just smart and responsible, and socially normal. I keep one in there until it perishes to dust, and then I replace it. But a condom-carrying iPhone case is just desperate, and in using one you will appear to prospective partners as a childish, over-eager little puppy. Let’s be blunt: You will not get laid.

But with a little modification (removing the lame “Playa” logo from the back with sandpaper, for starters), this could actually be a neat and useful case. The compartment could keep a little cash, or your keys, or even (for the nerdy) a camera connection kit for your iPad. Perfect for a night out on the town, leaving your wallet at home.

But as your wallet is at home, where do you keep your rubber? Take a look at your jeans, little man. See the little pocket on the right front side, the one that sits inside the other larger pocket like Alien’s toothy, nested mouths? That’s a condom pocket, and us old folks have been keeping our prophylactics in them since before cellphones, condom vending machines and ATMs even existed.

The Playa case is “coming” soon, for $30.

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