It spits out the bullets, laughs in your face, rips out your heart, consumes it as it steams and then, without drawing in a single breath, screams a primal scream as it stares, unblinking, directly into the sun.
No, just kidding. Gorilla glass or not, it turns into Swiss Cheese. Still, beats those stupid drop tests, doesn’t it?
John Brownlee is a Contributing Editor. He has also written for Wired, Playboy, Boing Boing, Popular Mechanics, VentureBeat, and Gizmodo. He lives in Boston with his girlfriend and two parakeets. You can follow him here on Twitter.