Apple Doesn’t Want You To Read About Penises In Newsstand

Apple Doesn’t Want You To Read About Penises In Newsstand

Yesterday we brought you a story all about how Apple is inadvertenly censoring rappers and their profane lyrics, but it looks like Cupertino isn’t happy with just ruining rap music…  they also want to make sure your Newsstand magazines don’t talk about penises, even in a clinical, scientific sense.

Muy Interesante, a scientific magazine that publishes digital versions of their mag on Apple’s Newsstand app, recently submitted a magazine cover carrying an article titled ”Myths and Truths About the Penis.” The magazine is rated for ages 12 years old and older, but Apple’s power welding content managers claimed the magazine is inappropriate for its age rating. This ban came despite the fact that Apple approves other 12 and up magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, that have titles such as “Bad Girl Sex,” “His 6 Secret Sex Spots” or “Sex Moves Men Crave.”

When Muy Interestante submitted their magazine cover for approval they received the following rejection notice from Apple:

“We have completed the revision of your attachments but we can’t publish them in the App Store because its category ["12 years old or up"] doesn’t correspond with its content. It doesn’t comply with the App Store’s guidelines:

3.8. Developers are responsible to assign a category for their apps. Apple can change inappropriate categories.

Since your application contains suggestive adult themes, this should be reflected in your category.”

Apparently Apple thinks Cosmopolitan’s sex articles are not “suggestive adult themes” but providing readers with scientific information about male genitalia is off limits. It’s total bullshit for Apple to say it’s fine for one  magazine to talk about sex while also telling a scientific magazine they can’t  mention the body parts that are used in the act of doing the deed: you know, fingers, mouths, penises, etc.

Yes, we know that penises aren’t the most pleasant of conversational topics in the world. They’re ugly, awkward flesh appendages that are better left unseen than out in the open, but that doesn’t mean they’re not worth talking about. If Muy Interesant wants to tell men all about how to do a self-test for testicular cancer or how to avoid the clap, then that’s information that should be promoted rather than censored, even if Apple is uncomfortable talking about their winkies.

In some ways I appreciate Apple’s attempts to keep pornography off of my iPad. The last thing I want is a big porn pop-up of some busty lady appearing out of nowhere while I’m playing games with my niece on my iPad. At the same time, attempting to censor the world is going to result in some imbalances and collateral damage because the ones doing the censoring are imperfect humans. Apple shouldn’t ban one magazine for something far less smutty than what they approve in another magazine, and we think they need to restructure how they approve some content while banning others before they mutate into a Big Brother type of entity that starts banning the opinions of other and frustrating the efforts of freedom of the press and free-speech.

As Mark Twain once said, “Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

We would like our penis articles back in our magazines please Apple, even if you’re too uncomfortable to talk about em.

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  • FriarNurgle

    Hypocrisy at it’s best. Hopefully Apple will come to their senses and come up with better ways to review and filter this rated content. Science is science, smut is smut. 

  • magicturdd

    how do you ruin rap music? its not like it can get any worse…

  • martinberoiz

    I think they went a bit over the line with the photograph. The content might be scientific, but the picture is certainly not!

  • Vincent

    Is CultofMac turning into tabloid journalism itself?  NSFW!

  • Margonow

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  • commoditycutie

    Hi Buster! You may consider penises ”ugly, awkward flesh appendages” but I think they’re all beautiful… every single one of them… including yours  :)

  • FriarNurgle

    It’s the guy’s smile. Makes it a little creepy. 

  • OMFGitsJUSTIN

    Yet i’m sure they will keep penis chapters in their Biology books in the new iBook store for schools. This selective censorship of “penisgate” is really bad press for Apple. Imagine how many potential content creators are now second guessing using iOS as their platform for distribution. If you don’t want to read about the human body, then don’t, but don’t stop everyone from it. Same with pron, it you don’t want to see that stuff, don’t do it. 

  • marmaduke25

    Nobody regards “muy” as a scientific magazine. At most, it is a lousy pseudo scientific facts divulgation magazine. A tabloid os science, if you will

  • Buster

    Sorry. I thought the word penis has been safe for work for a while now, but perhaps I’m mistaken because I haven’t worked in a place with strict HR policies in a long time.

  • 300AShareMakesMeSmile

    Who cares?  There’s other places to read about them.  Do a Google search and you’ll find out all you need to know about the male member.  Jeez.  Apple can approve of anything it wants to in it’s own store.  If Apple allowed it, there’d be some conservative group complaining that Apple was allowing swinging dinguses in the bookstore.  There’s just no satisfying some people.

  • Honyant

    Although I tend to agree with you, I find the double standards pointed out in this article muy interesante.

  • marmaduke25

    Btw everybody has missed the important news: according to the top headline, some Italian has discovered COLD FUSSION

  • Porkbamboo

    I know that dude.  He’s hung like a horse!

  • Mister Hedge

    Somehow I imagine that it has less to do with the content and subject line of the article and more to do with the picture(s). That cover shot is incredibly suggestive. In fact, I thought it was porn when I first saw it. You generally don’t see things like that on Cosmo mags.

About the author

Buster HeinBuster Hein is Cult of Mac's Social Media Editor. Hailing from Roswell, New Mexico, but now spending his days in Phoenix, Arizona, he wastes most of his time eating burritos and reading Spanish romance novels. Twitter: @bst3r.

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