Ranting, Pot-Smoking Lunatic Goes On Nude Rampage At SoHo Apple Store [Humor]

Ranting, Pot-Smoking Lunatic Goes On Nude Rampage At SoHo Apple Store [Humor]

Despite being decked out with new Macs, iOS devices, and accessories, customers visiting Apple’s SoHo store in New York City yesterday had better things to look at than the gadgetry. During a Q&A with White Collar star Matt Bomer, one crazy lady who had quite clearly been riding the magic jaybone decided it was a good time to rip off her shirt and begin screaming gibberish.

Mr. Bomer had dropped into the store for a Q&A with fans who ended up seeing a little more than they bargained for. Halfway through the questions, what Gizmodo appropriately describes as “a ranting, pot-smoking lunatic” stormed the stage to show off her best bits.

Lori, a blogger who was at the store, recounts the experience on Tumblr:

Went to go see Matt Bomer at the Soho Apple store – he’s promoting the second part of the third season of White Collar, premiering tomorrow.

Cristen and I sat in the back on the side.  This older blonde woman with a drawn on mustache sat next to Cristen, and she REEKED of marijuana.

Midway through the thing, she TAKES OFF HER TOP, stands on a chair, completely topless, and starts screaming about how she is the naked paparazzo and how we should all go visit her website and see her drag queen friends perform blahblahblah.

Cristen was hiding in my lap because this lady was right next to her, and Matt Bomer had this insanely giddy grin on his face and is squealing THIS IS THE BEST THING TO HAVE EVER HAPPENED IN MY CAREER!!!!!!!!

He also proceeded to bring it up at every chance he possibly could throughout the rest of the night.

ONLY IN NYC, MY FRIENDS.  ONLY IN NYC.

We’re not sure what happened next, but we can only assume the lady was escorted out of the store so that customers could continue their Q&A with Mr. Bomer. Well, sorry, Matt, but I know what I’d prefer to see at my local Apple store.

If you want to see an uncensored picture of the lunatic in question, Lori’s blog has a picture, but anyone looking for titilation should look elsewhere; these are just tits.

Related
  • cyberb0b

    How hard would it have been to link to the uncensored pic? 

  • BrooklynTrees

    I think this is Holly Van Voast, she’s kind of well know for her nudist antics in NYC
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

  • BrooklynTrees

    how hard would you have been if they linked to the uncensored pic?

  • ddevito

    iPhones aren’t for porn.

  • ddevito

    That’s about the only flash available at the iPhone and iPad tables.

    FTW

  • prof_peabody

    I’ll never understand the American penchant for censorship.  If these are “just tits,” why censor them?  

    It’s not like CultofMac is some holier than thou site that’s into such intense journalism that it will lose our respect by publishing this picture.  Fully half the stories on this site are purest click-bait, (made up semi-titilating crap), the rest are just copies of stories from other sites.  And most of these “stories” are only two sentences long anyway.  

    Then you finally get a story handed to you by Gizmodo that would send thousands of clicks your way, and you send everyone back to Gizmodo, or this idiot lady’s blog?? WTF?  

  • Holly Van Voast

    I’m really sorry to burst everyone’s bubble here… but I am the woman here… and the sad truth is that the original blog writing is so wrong that it’s bizarre… noone stormed the stage, there was no “nude” involved, just toplessness, and I was actually enunciating very clearly the message that I was projecting, while Mr. Bomer was actually listening and engaged in what was going on in a very positive way. So you, know, this is certainly a big deal to the person who wrote the original piece, but it just was not that crazy. I record what I do for a purpose… and have to try to project right in a big room… hahah this is what people WANT to hear hahahah. but it is far from what happened. And what’s with the seeming judgements about pot? Um, I wasn’t high then… but I don’t smoke crap, and acting like it’s abnormal to smoke pot these days is a bit of a stretch. Isn’t it?
    My name is Holly Van Voast. or Harvey Van Toast the topless paparazzo, a punk drag character I use to promote me and the people I cover in NYC nightlife. This is all just silliness… and so predictable, sadly. At least I am not so predictable. Everyone here had a story they might still be telling… and not by mistake, by me.

  • Holly Van Voast

    I am totally with you there. It’s too bad… unfortunate judgements. I say that with all respect.

  • Clark Wallace

    Caption: Take a look at these Apples!

    I’m reading Mr Bomer’s name as “Mr Boner” after re-reading the article.

  • Ed_Kel

    You must really wanted to see them titties!

  • Ed_Kel

    The real question is why are you spending your time at CoM if all you wanna see are a couple of sag bags?

  • Ed_Kel

    So there’s a difference between toplessness and nudity now?

    Have you ever heard the saying, it’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove? You claim you weren’t high, but in this picture, you look like a crack whore. I suggest you find another career.

  • nukemhill

    My question is, given the comment below from “Ms.” Holly–is she a she? or is she a he, with sagging man-tits?

  • prof_peabody

    No, my main complaint actually is censorship. Censorship is wrong and almost always completely unnecessary.  It’s based on a lot of religious nonsense that should have died out hundreds of years ago.  

    USA = most religious country on earth = censorship rampant. 

  • Holly Van Voast

    crack whore? sorry, you’ll have to be more original than that to shame me.

  • Ed_Kel

    I couldn’t care less about you or your lifestyle choices thus my intention was not to shame you. You missed my point entirely.

  • Ed_Kel

    Says the atheist basement-dweller that really wants to see them titties!

  • Sean Smith

    What? No video?

  • Clark Wallace

    Shame that Flash is obselete due to HTML5, I love that my iPhone is Flash free with an excellent sized screen with higher PPI than any Android phone.

  • beautifulcity

    Hello Cult of Mac – I’m Lori from the blog you referenced.  Just wanted to say that I actually don’t have an uncensored picture, but there’s an article on Gizmodo that also linked to my blog, and Gizmodo has an uncensored photo.

  • imajoebob

    You think that wasn’t assumed?

  • Bob Forsberg

    I knew that ugly guy in jr. high school, always looking for attention. Now its a she and only gets attention flashing his/her apples.

  • Alain Littaye

    Here is a link to the uncensored photo as well as a video!

    http://theworstintheplanet.blo

About the author

Killian BellKillian Bell is a freelance writer based in the UK. He has an interest in all things tech, but most enjoys covering Apple, anything mobile, and gaming. You can follow him on Twitter via @killianbell, or through his website.

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