LAS VEGAS, CES 2012 – There are some really awesome products on the showroom floor of CES this year, but we think we’ve found the greatest Microsoft product of all time. OF ALL TIME! Microsoft lipbalm. Admit it. You’re jealous that you don’t have your own stick yet aren’t you?
To make up for your absence at CES, we’re going to have a caption contest, and the winner gets a bag of CES swag that we got from the floor today.
To enter the contest, just comment on this article with your caption for the Microsoft Chapstick picture. Funniest caption wins and we’ll announce the winner on Friday, Jan. 13th at 12pm PST. Good luck.
Update: Our apologies for the delay in selecting a winner. With over 240 entrants it was incredibly difficult to proclaim one person the winner, but we’ve selected commenter Fred Maxwell as the winner of the contest. Thanks for participating in the contest everyone.
Buster Hein is a freelance writer who lives in Phoenix, Arizona. Twitter: @bst3r.
280 responses to “This Is Microsoft’s Best Product Of CES, Hands Down! [Caption Contest]”
“OEM ‘Micro’-bacon flavored ‘soft’ chapstick for sale, get yer’ OEM ‘Micro’-bacon flavored ‘soft’ chapstick today for $79.99”
“Free Xmint chapstick included for an additional $6.99 a year”
lipBalmer XP! … Coming soon, Balmer antiperspirant for those “I’ve got nothing important to say so I’ll just dance around and chant for 20 minutes” kinda days!
Yea!
“Microsoft Chapstick: Because you’re going to want to kiss us when you see our great, new toys!”
Did you want the Microsoft Lip Balm Home Basic, Microsoft Lib Balm Home Premium, Microsoft Lip Balm Business, Microsoft Lip Balm Enterprise, or Microsoft Lip Balm Ultimate?
Finally, Microsoft releases a product that can spread viruses to the users.
“In a move that today shocked the entire industry, Microsoft finally gave up hope of removing the ‘Blue screen of Death’ and have instead launched a new campaign targeted at removing blue lips and cold sores. Lets just hope that they prove a bit more successful with this than they did windows, or you never know…. We could all end up with ‘Blue lips of Death’ “
Considered pioners in preventing computer viruses, microsoft now feel it time to move antivirus to the next level… The user!
Do you also need an Anti-Virus from this?
Microsoft Chapstick: The only thing that they did not copy from Apple.
Each one is personally tested by Steve Ballmer himself.
We are giving you this one of a kind Microsoft Lip Balm cause god knows we didn’t release anything else at CES this year that wet your whistle.
MS Lip Balm 2012 … to be released sometime next year …
“We’ve got you now, Apple!”
Blue screens, crashes, and general rage related to use of Windows really chapping your ass? Try new Microsoft brand assbalm!
New Microsoft chapstick, now in Apple flavor!
It’s like Apple’s new iBalm, except that it doesn’t work well.
New Microsoft Chapstick, now in Apple flavor!
So much better than windows vista!
Microsoft Lip Balm: Specially formulated for frigidly cold conditions like when Steve Ballmer enters any room!
Microsoft Chapstick so you dont leave your lips as vulnerable as our operating systems!
They had to make the background black so they would not have to say APPLE flavored.
Microsoft Lip Balm: It works for a while. Then you have to convince some guy at a call center in India that you really didn’t steal it.
Mircosoft’s CEO Balmer, worried about his legacy particularly in the face of rival Apple’s ubiquity, insisted that a memorable product be a part of their final major presence at CES, and thus, borrowing from Balmer’s own namesake, the “mBalm” was born–a product so useful, it would bridge the gap across Android, Apple, and Mircosoft alike.
Microsoft Lip Balm 2012… Use this before kissing us goodbye!
Microsoft Chapstick : We bet you to it Apple and Google HAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!
This one comes free with your computer. When it stops working, you will have to buy a new version that costs $200 and looks totally different.
This is Lip Balm 7 and it will work much better than Lip Balm Vista. Trust us…
Microsoft Lip Balm it just works
Microsoft drops the F-Balm
I’m a person with chapped lips, and Microsoft Lipbalm was my idea.
And you thought we only put lip STICK on our pigs…
MicroChap® – We really know hot to ‘chap’ your hide!
Microsoft introduces new “Microsoft Lip Balm,” calling it a “revolutionary product” that showcases the “kind of innovative thinking that has kept Microsoft at the forefront of the technological revolution.”
Pay lip service to great design – with Microsoft Lipbalm!
Microsoft Lip Balm, Its not only apple who can make a whole new product and we can sell this in its millions.. Suck on that apple.
“Because Microsoft is user oriented and knows consumers need a little something to do while their PC is frozen” WHAT. UP.
MS-Lipbalm: Soothes fanboy’s lip.
You want me to put that where?
You want me to put that where?
It’s not only good for lips.
Due to lots of blue screens and fails in presentations the Microsoft lipbalm turns your : ( to a : )
LAS VEGAS, CES 2012 – Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer made a surprise appearance introducing Microsoft’s new lip balm. Ballmer took to the stage, waving a tube of the lip balm and exclaiming “No more chapped lips! No more chapped lips!” After five minutes of dancing that left Ballmer soaked in sweat and the audience dumbfounded, Ballmer walked off the stage, pumping his fist in the air and yelling “Lip balm! Lip balm! Lip balm!”
Microsoft Lipbalm… wow! They really Think Different!
Microsoft will never leave you chafed again!
Microsoft…perfect for moisturizing tiny lips.
Because if you suck as much as we do, you’ll need it!
Introducing Microsoft Lipbalm, the first lipbalm to feature steve ballmer’s breath flavor.
Microsoft….now a solution for when their programs “chap your hide”. (for those not down with the cliche’ chap your hide = make you angry.
Microsoft Lipbalm: Reaches for the parts that Apple refreshes.
Microsoft Medical Lipbalm – Turns blue in contact with infections
Microsoft Introduces Zune Mini to compete against 2009’s iPod Shuffle.
Steve Ballmer wants me to meet him where and do what with this lip balm?????????
Would You Like To Open This Lip Balm? Yes Or No? > Yes Are You Sure Norton360 Says this is unsafe are you sure that you want to continue? > Yes > System Failure! Please Reboot Your System and wait 5hours for us to detect it and do nothing about it.
THIS IS ALL WE GOT!!!
Microsoft- I went into Xerox’s home and it was there thought i would copy it just like all of our products.
Here today, ready for tomorrow!
Microsoft lip balm.
It is, without a doubt, our best performing product!
New Microsoft 8 suppositories to fight off all kinds of viruses. Available November 2015.
Hey, it’s better than Vista, right?
Now in Blue Lips of Death flavor!
This ain’t chap stick. Grip plastic applicator firmly, bend over, insert. Basically a summary of all my Microsoft purchases.
MicroChap – for when the Winblows!
After years of sucking it, Microsofts lips were a little chapped.
For Apped Lips
Chapping lips and asses for 30 years
Microsoft Lip Balm: One set of lips per license please!
If you’re gonna take it in the mouth, it helps to have slippery lips.
no blue lips (read screen) of death
Lip Balm by Microsoft. Making lips soft 404ever.
Microsoft Lip Balm: The easiest way to contract a virus through your lips.
Introducing our revolutionary new stylus for the windows 8 tablets. Finger smudges are now a thing of the past.
Works even if your lips are chapped into 32 or 64 bit(s)!
if you have to explain it…
too long and didn’t tie in the lip balm
Damn girl! I used this stuff and now my lips are micro SOFT!!
“Balmer antiperspirant”, good idea
Its micro. It’s soft. It’s Microsoft lip balm.
accurate but lacking in humorosity
*vomit*
you forgot to include a joke
lol
Microsoft, #1 in lip service since 1975
“looks totally different” ….. wait what?
face-balm?
Your lips, our software
this not make sense
Microsoft Lipbalm – helping nerds kinect
this is a good idea. you were supposed to write a joke.
“Ballmers Lipbalm”…For all your virus needs!
Yes. Windows 7 looks totally different than Windows XP, for example. You were aware that consumers are often struck by changes in the GUI when they upgrade to new versions of Windows, weren’t you?
Microsoft Lipbalm – the only product where we excel
Microsoft Lipbalm – For When We Rub You the Wrong Way.
I’m well known for having a good sense of humor, and the post has 4 likes as I write this, so I am pretty sure that the issue is you, not the post.
LIKE!
LIKE!
LIKE!
LIKE!
Okay, I give. I don’t get this one.
LIKE!
LIKE!
LIKE!
Blue Screen of Death? Need to reboot?! Grab a Microbalm :D
Microsoft LipBalmer® Protects, moisturizes and conditions keyboards. Also effective as an antispam (the lunch meat) protectant and works equally well as an anti-virus protectant. Apply liberally to ports and plugs, 3x a day. WARNING: for external use only. Not to be eaten. Stop use if blue screen develops. Keep out of reach of children under 35.
LIKE!
I thought it was a suppository.
Microsoft Lipbalm: “A fantastic installment to make your ‘software’ shine!”
Caution: may cause BLOD, aka blue lips of death.
BLOD will freeze your lips, making them unresponsive to brain commands. To fix, press finger firmly to the bottom of the Microsoft lip balm tube and hold for 5 seconds. Re-apply Microsoft lip balm and your lips should return to normal functionality.
Also reviewed was a stick of Macintosh Apple flavored lip balm; known side effects are insane fanboism of Apple and an insatiable lust for all new Apple products.
In true PC fashion, we give you almost what you want. For the most imperceptible softness reach for “micro”soft.
And what’s wrong with Windows Vista?
Microsoft: Viruses on your computer, now on your face.
Microsoft: We’ve had our way with your ass… now for the other end!
Microsoft Lip Balm: Ultimate Edition – For the hyperactive outspoken “Ballm”er in all of us…
Yeah I know but it kinda works you read the Steve Jobs biography or heard of the quote?? What Microsoft said sort of a play on words :/
Microsoft lip balm: You’d probably be better off kissing a hooker because a hooker at least doesn’t have as many viruses
Microsoft Lipbalm- After all the years of Ideas for PC and Phones, this is all we got… enjoy!
Microsoft Lip Balm – We’ll stick it to YA…
Microsoft Lip Balm, our first product that works no matter how much we suck.
“We’re heard your complaints! You feel like Microsoft has been f***ing you in the ass! Well, now you’ll mind it less, with our new MINI violator!”
edit:
Wait, Microsoft just rebranded a product? What a shocker!
Don’t waste your time rebooting, grab Microbalm to easy the pain.
Microsoft – we can’t make your mouth water but we can keep your lips hydrated
Where do you want to rub today?
Microsoft Lip Balm : Keep your lips soft for when your kissing your new macbook.
Finally, something we haven’t copied from Apple…
I doubt many people cared about the UI gloss upgrades to a 6 year old operating system. The software and driver issues, sure.
Microsoft Chapstick: The only Microsoft product that is simple, compact, and easy to use!
Microsoft Chapstick: The only Microsoft product that is simple, compact, and easy to use!
Keeps your lips soft and moist when sputtering and cursing at Windows isn’t enough! Guaranteed to last a LONG time.
Now introducing the the mStylus, designed to reduce finger smudging!
Microsoft Chapstick: Tired of us kissing up to you? Kiss someone else’s ass instead!
Are you a fat, lifeless slob, without vision? We can stop those blue screams of death! We can give you lips like Angela Jolie! We have the greatest revolutionary product of CES – the new portable, handheld Windows 8 Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. Don’t monkey around with inferior products. Melts off the fat but guaranteed not to melt! Don’t believe us? Watch the Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ being personally beta-tested by Steve Ballmer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…. But wait – there’s more! If you order your new Windows Phone 7 in the next 3 days, we will include, ABSOLUTELY FREE, a year’s supply of Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. But wait – there’s more! For every Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ customer you sign up, we will personally pay you $10.00!
Are you a fat, lifeless slob, without vision? We can stop those blue screams of death! We can give you lips like Angela Jolie! We have the greatest revolutionary product of CES – the new portable, handheld Windows 8 Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. Don’t monkey around with inferior products. Melts off the fat but guaranteed not to melt! Don’t believe us? Watch the Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ being personally beta-tested by Steve Ballmer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…. But wait – there’s more! If you order your new Windows Phone 7 in the next 3 days, we will include, ABSOLUTELY FREE, a year’s supply of Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™. But wait – there’s more! For every Microsoft Lipo-sucks-ion™ customer you sign up, we will personally pay you $10.00!
Microsoft Chapstick. Something to help you pass the time while your windows pc starts up
so that means the Apple equivalent, would be a Douche…
Why Microsoft Lip Balm? Our lips are chapped because we suck so hard.
Microsoft Lip Balmer: Developers, developers, developers.
Easy to use MS Lip balm* with 200 page manual.
*cap & Licence sold separately.
Apple are onto us, we better start coming up with some innovative new ideas….
It won’t hurt. After years sticking it in you, Microsoft announces Windows on a stick.
Microsoft next best thing, with weekly updates and flavor issues..
and then the iBalm will be created that tracks your lips and rejuvenates them.. it just works!
To make us here at Windows better at kissing your ass !!!
Are you frustrated at our insanely long boot times?
Did that Nigerian prince crash your system with yet another virus?
Are you tired of rebooting after our daily security updates, only to find another Nigerian prince entering your “back door”?
Do you wish there was something out there that could make your Windows experience, better?
Here, maybe this will help.
-Microsoft Lip Balm, “distracting our dwindling fan base, since 2012”
Now, true multitasking!
Doubles as a suppository.
Micro-SoftLips
+1
ms lip balm, apply when staring at blue screen of death…
‘It looks like you’re trying to apply lip balm. Do you want help with?’
Step 1 – Remove the cap.
Step 2 – Rotate the knob.
Step 3 – There is no step 3 because it’s full of empty promises.
— Pucker up!
or
— …because the Windows nerds still hope they will be kissed
“Even if I kiss your ‘assle’, I will need my own branded lip balms!”
Our only product without the blue screen of death!
the only way for Microsoft to be on everybody’s lips.
The Microsoft tampon for all ages! Absorbs any kind of nonsense!
After a long day at work kissing ass and chasing tail, this is the only balm that works for me…
After years of trying to copy Apple and failing, we at Microsoft decided it might be easier to copy Burt’s Bees.
Tired of Microsoft fans claiming that you’re an Apple Fanboy? Now you can show them just how un-biased you are with Microsoft Lip Balm! The one MS product you’ll be glad you had with you.
Apply while booting up
Is your ass chapped from your obsolete Zune (you know, the iPod killer?!?) Then apply liberally where the sun don’t shine.
No swag bag for you. Next!
Whoa, Mr. Ballmer… is that a lipbalm in your pocket, or….?
MicroSoft Lipbalm : Feel the lips like rose petals
LICENSE AGREEMENT :
Copyrights reserved. No one should ever use this when you are in front of MAC devices or iOS devices. One Lipbalm per License. By using this Lipbalm , you are agreeing to the terms of this license.you will not have the right to inspect e any ingredients for any reason. Humiliation of rules may be prosecuted.
If your fingers are chapped from all the “Control, Alt, Delete” you’re doing, then use this chapstick from Microsoft and save your digits for calling tech support.
Do you need to download a service pack to take the cap off?
“Now catching a virus is even easier, choose Microsoft!”
I said “Simplify my lip balm.” They simplified my lip balm. How you like me now?
“Our software sucks ass, but now it won’t smell funny”.
Microsoft Lip Balm – “When you suck at everything, like we do, you’re gonna need this”
“I kissed a Bill and I liked it, the taste of her Microsoft chapstick
I kissed a Bill just to try it, I hope Macintosh don’t mind it
It felt so wrong…”
“darn its so cold in here, my windows 7 froze…i’d better use my Microsoft chapstick to avoid freezing my a** in here”
More like Microsoft’s best product of all time. Honestly microsoft you have yet to produce anything that is not total crap, just die already.
Microsoft Lipbalm – “For when our boring, unimaginative keynotes don’t have you salivating at the mouth!”
Microsoft Lip Balm – “wirelessly sync your viruses across all personal networks.”
Microsoft lip balm. A brand new device with an inbuilt restart button for those daily crashes, that we all love.
But only Steve Jobs can say “And one last thing…”.
Because Bill Gates has really chapped lips.
Because Bill Gates couldn’t stand Burt’s Bees.
Your emergency virus kit.
We can’t fix the cracks in our software, but we can on your lips!
LOL
We may be first, but apple’s will be better… that’s the Microsoft guarantee.
UP NEXT: New IBalm with 3 exciting new features: Built in wifi, MP3 capabilities, and Siri to help with the weather update. Yours now for only $99.99
Humor’s not your thing. Give it a rest.
When you host a Windows 8 launch party for you and your friends, you want to look your best so use Microsoft Lip Balm.
Microsoft “Butt Balm” – Tired of Windows? – Preparation H Simply Doesn’t cut it!
Sealing the cracks so the code does not leak out…..
Did we mention it also comes in brown?
…because they were easier to give away than Zunes…
It’s obvious they came up with this themselves…
Feeling 2nd best lately? Apply liberally, and pucker up for that serious Butt-Kissing session!
Also works great on Brown-Nose chafing!
It doesn’t matter if you’re lips are micro or not, Microsoft Lip Balm will make your lips SOFT!
Your PC can’t get Herpes, so why should you?
After holding your mouth open and licking your lips at all of the awesome new product, Microsoft has the best solution…”Microsoft Lipbalm”
Apply Microsoft Lipbalm frequently to shore up your lips defenses.
When Your PC Leaves You Feeling Raw And Irritated, Try Microsoft Lipbalm!
Microsoft’s aggressive new push to gain back market share in the mobile market:
Buy Microsoft Lipbalm, get a Windows 7 Phone for free.”
60% of the time, it works every time, just like our products.
Micro Soft-Lips! We gotta make money some how.
anti-update balm:
insert to the computer and then update
Microsoft Lipbalm: with artificial Apple flavors
The new Microsoft LipBalm. We won’t ever leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Backward compatible all the way to licking your lips.
Microsoft Flavorless Lipbalm: Like our other products, it lacks taste.
Microsoft lipbalm for 50 cents. Because you don’t want to pay $10 for a sleeker looking lipbalm.
Going boldly where microsoft has never gone before; A product people might actually want
The new Microsoft Lip Balm- also doubles as a stylus for our future Windows 8 Tablets.
Microsoft Lip Balm- you didn’t think our CEO’s name was BALMer for no reason, did you?
Microsoft® LipBalm® 2012
Yes, we just registered another common word and will sue everyone using it without permission from now on
Our way to say sorry for vista
The only “balmer” at Microsoft that is not useless
Bend over and kiss my @#$ Wait, put on some lip balm first.
Still chapped about Microsoft Vista? We’ve got just the thing for that…
Microsoft Balm – Makes your smile error free …..
Microsoft Lipbalm! At least you won’t have to reboot this.
Microsoft Lipbalm! Because @$$ balm from the constant chapping we cause just didn’t seem appropriate.
Microsoft Lipbalm! Just something else we stole and put our label on.
Buy the MS Lip Balm for $199. to actually use it requires an upgrade to pro for $499.
Try the all new Microsoft Lip Balm! The only thing cheaper than Microsoft’s market share.
Chapstick Lip Balm – $1.59 / Blistex Lip Medex – $1.99 / Burtsbees Beeswax Lip Balm – $2.59 / Microsoft Lip Balm – Priceless
It should have been hand sanitizer. That way you could wash your hands of the whole Microsoft experience.
Getting ready to kiss Ballmer`s ass!!
Microsoft LipBalm – Garanteed to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Microsoft Lip Balm… we maynot be able to protect your precious pictures, music library, or important documents, but at least we can protect your lips**!
**= Only 23 day trial included, Full version can be purchased for continued protection…. until next year!
Microsoft Lipbalmer-for those times when you suck too much!
Lipsmackin’ processorhoggin’ virusfriendin’, systemcrashin’, applecopyin’ pricefixin’ Microsoft
Lipsmackin’ processorhoggin’ virusfriendin’, systemcrashin’, applecopyin’ pricefixin’ Microsoft
Microsoft Lipbalm, “Defragments lips in 9 hours”
also available as a suppository
give it to me, it’s one of the only possible ways that i’m gonna use a PC product over a Mac :P unless you can find a Apple lipbalm :D
Microsoft LipBalm, for when you want that “blue lips of death” goth look.
Lip-Ballmer
Sucking. Powered by Microsoft
It’s a lip balm, it’s an hemorrhoidal balm!
It’s Microsoft 8, dual boot Ballmer, with a special multi-touch lip GUI, for when you want to sooth your boss’s butt as you kiss it.
Also available in tablet form, as well as fully functioning PC suppository!
“Microsoft-Metro-MSN-XBox-Live-Zune-Windows-Mango-Bing-Lipbalm” – For those lip biting moments when you see our “Blue screen of Death”
I’m sorry you’ll have to find an updated driver to use this chapstick.
Microsoft Lip Balm: Now it is We Who THINK DIFFERENT
Microsoft Lip Balm. It just works.
The microsoft next big thing!! The LipBalmer! 7-mango-vista-xp-else-yada it’s now with 1.99 it’s home edition so in 2 months we will bring the ultimate edition with a 3,99 … The first month..
repost: edited:Chapstick Lip Balm – $1.59 / Blistex Lip Medex – $1.99 / Burtsbees Beeswax Lip Balm – $2.59 / Microsoft Lip Balm – WORTHLESS!
Microsoft introduces “a revolution in skin technology” at CES2012. As customary with any Microsoft product, the reverse side of the label reads: “Note: may cause user’s lips to freeze up, move slowly and/or inexpicably and without warning cause blue lips of death.”
Introducing “Microstick” lip balm by Microsoft. For soothing relief from what ails you, we promise, really. It just works.
Microsoft is awarded CES 2012 “Lipstick on a Pig” trophy (pictured) after conventioneers realize the shiny, new-look products … Are still made by Microsoft.
Microsofts answer to Apples iPad: Microsoft Balm Pilot
Microsoft Chapstick. Greasing Up the Little Guy.
Never needs rebooting
The greatest invention since the personal computer
for everything you do windows comes up with a blue screen stating “starting memory dump bla bla bla”
Microsoft Lip Balm: only way to spread word of mouth!
Put some on your lips before you kiss Apples ass!
So who won?
Microsoft chap stick! Why? Because we know your lips get chapped from all that whistling at cool Apple stuff.
So… there was never any CES bag filled with goodies huh? Or, you guys decided to keep it all for your selves -_-
working on deciding a winner right now
winner
please email buster (at) cultofmac (dot) com to claim your prize
…Toby in purchasing suddenly realized that the 5000 copies of the Windows 8 demo for CES were probably supposed to be on on a USB stick.
Cool!!! Another Microsoft original idea! You think Microsoft fans will claim that Microsoft pioneered lip balm too?
Pucker Up and kiss your money goodbye with: Microsoft Brand Chapstick!
Even fixes cracked windows.
Lubrication for the microshaft
That’s not a caption.
Loose lips sink ships…. Microsoft Lip Glue, now our employees can only write or charade a leak.
So the winner is a guy (Fred) that entered almost 12 times? Awesome.
I should of entered over 9000 times.
Microsoft Lip-Balmer is designed to keep lips sealed.
Introducing BALLMER™ by Microsoft. The only lip treatment proven to withstand 35 years of sucking.
(I know, too late; it just now came to me.)
Microsoft Lip balm: Made to cool your lips after you spending hours biting them while trying to use Windows.
When you absolutely, positively can’t keep your mouth shut trash-talking Apple’s products- because they’re better than yours.
Still more useful than a mac.
The tiny vibrator disguised as lip balm for those nights when your man is Micro and Soft.
They might crack your password, but they won’t crack your lips.
Are you sure you don’t want the chapstick? It may make bing search ease…ier.
Are you sure you don’t want the chapstick? It may make the BING search ease…ier.
You’ve dreamed about it, watched HGTV, and and pick out colors. Now make your bathroom remodel a reality, more info, bathroomremodeling.cöm
You’ve dreamed about it, watched HGTV, and and pick out colors. Now make your bathroom remodel a reality, more info, bathroomremodeling.cöm
Steve Jobs : Watching all this from iHeaven..
Laughing softly : asks God
“Can you please do some magic and stop MS from inventing so much BS ?”
P.S – we will not be reinventing this. :-/
Copy this Apple!
Virus magnet.
MS chapstick; each one is personally tested by Steve Ballmer himself.
I got one: “Even this is better than all Apple products” :P
Microsoft Booth Raffle –
4th prize – Microsoft Zune
3rd prize – Autographed Copy of Windows Me
2nd Prize – Autographed Copy of Windows XP
1st Prize – Microsoft Licensed Lip Balm*
*The EULA states that you don’t actually own the lip balm, just the permission to use it. If you share the lip balm, you will be hit with a $100,000 fine in violation of DMCA.
“The kiss preparing tool for the true Windows user”
It’s time to taste Microsoft Chapstick.