Apple turned what could have been a deathly boring financial ritual into an occasion for celebration Wednesday, posting record numbers and making headlines with some unexpected moves.

Here’s our take on everything you need to know from the latest quarterly earnings call.

Tim Cook will put his iPhone on speaker this afternoon to tell the world how much money Apple has made selling us insanely great gadgets, and we’ll be liveblogging the call.

During the quarterly earnings report, which starts at 2 p.m. Pacific, Cook and company will share details about Apple’s Q2 financial performance with investors and the rest of the faithful.

Some analysts predict a yawn-inducing “business as usual” earnings report, but you never know – Cook might have to sing some fancy arpeggios if the numbers don’t jibe with predictions made last year, when he crowed about exciting products in the Apple pipeline.

Whether Tim’s talk leads to boos or a standing ovation, Cult of Mac will brave the recital of all the mind-numbing money-speak to help you tune in to the true meaning behind it all. Keep this page open as we post all the interesting bits.

It’s looking like it might be a dreary quarter for Apple. Not only has iPhone growth pretty much leveled off, but most Wall Street analysts believe that when Apple announces its quarterly numbers, iPad sales will have actually declined year over year. Is Wall Street wrong?

Microsoft announced $24.52 billion in revenue the second quarter this year, showing gains across all segments of its consumer technology business, including Surface, Xbox, and Bing search.

As a previous heavy competitor and sometime collaborator with Apple, Microsoft hasn’t been doing as well in the post-PC era. It’s interesting that the company is defying expectations on the eve of CEO Steve Ballmer’s run at the company, with growth across the board, except in PC sales, of course.