We get that yesterday’s Apple event was a marketing thing, which is why every presentation began with whoever was onstage telling us how “thrilled,” “excited” or “really happy” they were to be there. And the exaggeration just continued from those intros.
Here are some of the most outlandish and enthusiastically subjective lines that came from the stage at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. We’ve organized them by speaker so you can see who “won” this verbal arms race of canned excitement.
Siri may be able to keep a secret, but once word gets out, just try to stop it from sassing you about it.
Apple’s digital assistant is now chock full of sass in the aftermath of the company’s event today, at which it revealed new models of the iPad, iPhone, and Apple TV.
Wow. That was a big deal. For a mere “s” upgrade, Apple went way above and beyond with today’s big product showcase. Three major product lines have been not just upgraded, but reinvented, and finally there’s a reason to buy the one that has been languishing — the Apple TV, which is now a gaming console as well as an entertainment center.
Maybe I’ve drunk too much Kool-Aid, but I thought this morning’s presentation was one for the history books.
From the iPhone to the iPad to the Apple TV, Cupertino’s constellation of magical devices just got a little more magical.
Did you expect all that Apple goodness? Most of what we heard today already churned through the rumor mill: the plus-size iPad Pro; new Apple Watch finishes and bands; a refreshed Apple TV with games, apps and Siri functionality. And, oh yeah, the new iPhone 6s and 6s Plus with a whole new level of Force Touch, called 3D Touch.
There were even a few surprises, like the iPad Pro’s new Smart Keyboard and the iPad stylus, dubbed the Apple Pencil. But throughout today’s keynote by Tim Cook and his lieutenants, the series of under-the-hood upgrades they revealed promise to push all Apple products forward into the future.
Let’s take a moment to boil down all two hours and 10 minutes of this incredibly dense and surprisingly succinct Apple event.
We’re all excited about the news about the iPhone 6s, so we almost missed the part of today’s Apple event where the Cupertino company spilled the release date of El Capitan, the latest version of its desktop OS.
The iPad Pro is coming in November, and it’s going to be huge.
Apple gave us our first look at the upcoming supertablet at its special event this morning, which has a 12.9-inch screen. And if that number seems awfully specific, you apparently haven’t figured out how Apple works by now.
Apple just announced a pair of gold finishes for the Apple Watch; new wristbands in a line of fall colors; new bands from the fashion house Hermes; and that watchOS 2 will ship Sept. 16.
Congratulations — it’s iPhone Day 2015!
Tim Cook is already up and tweeting about the big Apple keynote that will go down today in San Francisco. We’ll be here liveblogging the entire thing, mixing all the dull wit and pithy snark we can muster for the iPhone 6s. The event starts at 10 a.m. Pacific but we’ll be getting started well before that — and we won’t stop until every last new iPad and iPhone has been announced.
For a quick recap of what to expect from today’s keynote, check out our roundup of all the announcements Apple will make, including the long-awaited iPad Pro.
Today’s event promises to be Apple’s biggest event of the year, so turn on the stream on your Apple TV and join us in the liveblog below:
We’ve all been focusing on games as the killer apps for a new Apple TV reveal tomorrow at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, but even regular apps could bring Apple the audience it wants as it tries to leapfrog competitors like Chromecast and Roku with features that the other guys just don’t have (yet).
