humor - page 6

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Offering that imitation as a parody allows commentary while avoiding the Wrath of Legal. Spoofs of Apple commercials are certainly not a new phenomenon, but recently we’ve moved past Get A Mac and Dancing Silhouettes into the Jony Ive Era: soft music, featherlight products and dark T-shirts.

The world’s creative types have noticed, producing a stream of variations on Apple’s ubiquitous advertising. SlateV uses Ive himself to introduce one of Apple’s greatest technological wonders, the iPhone 4 Bumper.

We received these cryptic press releases from two fairly well-known developers today, and we just thought we’d share them with you — especially since one of them was marked confidential and requested we not reveal anything till Monday; as if! We’re revealing it NOW! (Yes, we’re horribly easy to manipulate).

This is ace. This is precisely what the iPad 2 is all about.

For those of you who don’t know them, Dan and Dan are a mysteriously identical comedy duo from the UK. If you like this style of weird Brit humor, there’s lots more of it on their YouTube channel.

OK, so imagine you’re in one of those Android marketing meetings. Big Boss needs ideas for the new advertising campaign.

“Apple’s just so far ahead,” says Big Boss. “We need something radical to pull in customers.”

Radical, huh? you say.

“Yeah. We need color, action. Bad language. We need everything you never see in an Apple advert. And none of that plinky-plonky background music.”

You think for a minute.

OK boss, you say. How about something like… this?

I recently came across a humorous post on Facebook that made me laugh out loud so I thought I should share it. It read:

I named my iPhone Titanic, why you ask? So that every-time I plug my phone into the computer it says ” Titanic is now syncing”– haha

While the gallows tone of this tidbit of humor might offend some people it definitely makes most of them laugh at the creativity and obvious play on words.

So now the question is did you give your iPhone, iPod touch, or iPad a unique name? If you did share it with everyone by leaving a comment.

From BBC One and The One Ronnie Show comes this delightful spoof poking fun at the challenges of all those fruit themed devices in our lives these days. A lighthearted dose in true Python’esque fashion – lest we take our tech too seriously!

You knew it was coming.  Currently VaporWare – and possibly HumorWare – Golden Cow Brands has announced the iToiletStand (aka Angled Stand), a waist high, foldable stand for iPads and other tablets which does just what you think:

Where can I use it? by the bath, couch, bed, in the kitchen or garage, by the toilet (yep, take a bit more time for yourself), next to your chair while playing a musical instrument, in hospitals, next to wheelchairs, somewhat near your barbecue grill, next to your lounge or lawn chair, next to your office desk, use it while giving presentations at school, during meetings or conferences, and the list goes on…

The implied cautionary warning of somewhat near your barbecue grill applies equally to anticipated bathroom usage.  The company says cost will be cheap enough for you to purchase several for use around the house, and shipping is anticipated to begin in early 2011

Too bad they missed the 2010 Holiday Shopping Season…

[via BornRich]

It is going to be tough Christmas if you are a company that plans on selling a potential iPad rival. One company, Maylong, is selling their Android powered M-150 TabletPC at Walgreens for $99 and it’s going to be hard to sell after a review on Ars technica concluded with a verdict of “run screaming in the other direction. ”

Now Best Buy has come to the rescue with great ideas for iPad rivals that just don’t cut it via their BBYOpen blog.  Here are a few of my favorite suggestions they had for anyone unlucky enough to find an M-150 or something just as bad under their Christmas tree this year.

The Washington Post has chosen to advertise their new iPad app by portraying legendary journalist Bob Woodward as a decrepit moron completely befuddled by technology so easy to use that even 99 year olds can quickly master it.

We laughed, although we’re not sure if it’s at the Washington Post’s self-deprecation or just the stupidity of it all. Probably a bit of both.

By now, everyone that wants a white iPhone 4 knows that you aren’t going to get one any time soon. So in the meantime, while you are waiting for the white iPhone 5, check out the banned white iPhone 4 video (warning: NSFW) by clicking the read link below.

httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5iZyN7Ir3Q

Last week’s Back to the Mac event ran pretty long even for an Apple gig, but at the end of the day, it turns out it’s pretty easy to compress into just a couple of minutes of signal. Or, at least, a couple minutes of adjectival hyperbole.

The previous generation MacBook Air was thin enough to slice a birthday cake or a loaf of bread as an ample library of YouTube videos proved at the time of the notebook’s release. It was so thin, in fact, that though I thought the laptop was functionally useless for real world use in that its wimpy specs and abysmal battery life, it would have been my go-to laptop for use in a post-apocalypse setting: simply file along the edge of the unibody enclosure and the first generation MacBook Air would have made a dandy makeshift machete, perfect for slicing the jugular of a gasoline-crazed motorcycle psycho or lopping off the top of the skull of a flesh-hungry zombie.

The latest MacBook Air is even thinner than its predecessor, and therefore continues the trend of being an excellent survivalist’s laptop. In fact, the new MacBook Air is actually thinner than the blade of an axe, even at the axe’s sharpest point. Yowza. Don’t knock it off the table and onto your toes.

Here’s my question: how long it will take a third-party accessory manufacturer to start selling a heavy, snap-on axe handle for the Air? I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

Sign seen in an electronics store in Surrey, Canada: Please Do Not Touch the iPod touch.  Straight from the “People Unclear on the Concept” Department.  Kafka would be proud.

Although one could argue that with Apple’s ongoing fetish for Shiny, Tiny objects, soon No One will be able to Touch the iPod Touch.

[via Ellen]

httpvhd://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g73GfmTtUM

Speaking of jailbreaks, check out this trailer for Unlocked, a mock biopic in the style of The Social Network incorporating footage from his various media appearances as well as a movie starring The Wire’s Ziggy that I’d be pleased if you guys would identify for me in the comments.

Brilliant, though I can’t tell if it’s been done by geohot’s fans or people pissed off at his jailbreaking queue-hopping on Sunday.

Taking a break from the Smartphone Wars to fight a growing threat, Apple and RIM are speaking with one voice when it comes to a common scourge afflicting their App Stores:  No More Fart Apps!

According to Alan Panezic, RIM’s Vice President of Platform Product Management:

For us, apps are all about adding real value to the end-user’s life and creating revenue for developer. We don’t need 200 fart apps in App World. Those are apps you’ll use three or four times then never open again. [recombu]

This mirrors the sentiment expressed by Apple three weeks ago with the release of their App Store Development Guidelines:

We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more Fart apps. If your app doesn’t do something useful or provide some form of lasting entertainment, it may not be accepted. [Apple]

You know the scourge must be serious when Apple is forced to take this stance even though their own Director of Applications Technology (and Influencer of App Store Approvals), Phillip Shoemaker, previously developed fart apps for the iPhone.

This was probably inevitable.  I suspect we’ll survive.  But Cartman is furious.

[via SlashDot]

Never letting a good opportunity go to waste, Scoopertino reveals that Steve Jobs’ recent incident at Japan’s Kansai International Airport was actually a field test of Apple’s newest product:

“iPod ninja fits into that sweet spot between the iPod touch and a small handgun,” says Apple spokesperson Ted Wetmore. “It gives you peace of mind. You can either enjoy your music on the device — or you can fling it at anyone who looks at you funny. With a little practice, you can take down a foe at 50 feet.”

However, there is a dark side to the new iPod. As iPod ninja sales boom, some blogs are already reporting a “death grip” problem even worse than the one that plagued iPhone 4. If you hold iPod ninja in a certain way, you may require immediate medical care.

“There is a learning curve,” admits Mr. Berry, “and Apple does recommend the use of a protective case.” [Scoopertino]

Credit card, photo ID and criminal background check required for purchase.  This could have the potential to be a real killer product….

[via iPhoneSavior]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGmRKSds9OY

Proving a thing or two about making the most of what you have – unlike Microsoft – Amazon has come out with a cute ad poking fun at using the iPad in bright sunlight, and its premium price to boot.

I’m an iPad fan, but I will admit the little Never-Say-Die eReader does win on these fronts…

[via Digg]

Well it didn’t take long after his Apple gig ended for Justin Long to switch to the Dark Side. Known for his portrayal of “Mac” along with John Hodgman as “PC” in Apple’s very popular “Get a Mac” ad campaign, Long is seen using (of all things) a Dell laptop in a promo shot for his new film Going the Distance.  We presume he’s calling his old pal PC for tech support in this photo.

First a jailbroken iPhone, now using a PC.  Justin, Justin, how did things get so bad so fast?

[via Macworld]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsNXtEayCSY

It’s every child’s worst fear – teaching their parents how to use technology!  Perhaps it’s payback for adolescence.  SuperNews! offer up this hilarious look at what happens when Dad gets an iPhone.

“Don’t turn it on! You’ll waste the batteries!”

Be sure to also check out their epic battles Gates vs. Jobs and Gates vs. Jobs II.

What good is an iPhone if you can’t run a tricorder on it?  Hiding out in the app store is this little gem called Tricorder TR-580, with realistic sound effects and a hidden trove of data.  Somewhat of a cross-series hybrid, it’s not an official Star Trek studio release but definitely worth 99 cents.

You can track crewmates in the field too. Makes a good companion to the iPhone Communicator app!

Google’s 2001 retro-search tool has provided endless amusement over the past few weeks. None so much as the image at right, which is the “iPhone 2,” released by InfoTech in mid-1999 and reviewed on StreetTech by Gareth Branwyn.

And yes, it was a comical Internet landline phone, featuring full QWERTY keyboard. Like today’s iPhone 3G, it featured a touchscreen, Internet access, e-mail, and location-based services. Also like today’s iPhone 3G, it improved on significant shortcomings in its predecessor, by adding a better keyboard, higher data speed, and better speaker-phone sound quality.

And, eeriest of all, it had notable areas that needed improving. There was no “Forward” browser button, no “Find” function, and, hilariously, no Cut, Copy, or Paste features. In many ways, it’s exactly like today’s iPhone. Just, you know, totally janky.

Some things never change, apparently.

Thanks, Jwester!