Apple Watch too fancy? These wooden watches dial down the tech

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Apple Watch
Eww, they're all shiny. Photo: Apple

We’re just weeks away from the Apple Watch’s launch, but maybe you’re not as excited about it as some of us are. It’s understandable; not everyone needs a $550 watch that offers many of the same capabilities your phone already does (albeit more conveniently).

If you’re in the market for a cool new watch and don’t need all the smart features and gadgetiness of Apple’s offering, here are a few less-shiny options you could check out. And they are, in fact, far less shiny than the Apple Watch. Because they’re made of wood.

Watch these 5 great horror-comedies before Zombeavers eats your brain

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Zombeavers
I do have to hand it to them for that tagline. Solid work, everyone. Photo: Armory Films

I don’t know if you’ve heard of Zombeavers, but it’s out now. And, true to its name, it is about beavers who are also zombies, and they lay siege to a cabin full of hapless, idiot teens on a weekend trip to the woods.

Watch the Zombeavers trailer if you don’t believe me, but this is a thing that is happening to all of us. And I can’t actually speak to its quality without having seen it, but it absolutely looks like something I would watch on Netflix at 2 in the morning. But only then.

What I’m saying is that you can probably wait to see Zombeavers, which will screen in select theaters starting today and is also available to stream on demand. And while you’re doing that, you should check out these other films that blend horror and comedy into something special (and don’t forget to share all the ones I missed in the comments).

How Alto’s Adventure became your next favorite iPhone game

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Photo: Snowman
Photo: Snowman

One of Ryan Cash’s favorite games growing up was GoldenEye on the N64. “One thing I remember so clearly is that the game was hard,” he recalled. “You couldn’t just beat the game on its toughest setting if you weren’t amazing.”

Luckily for Cash, his friend Bruno was a master at GoldenEye, and he would come over to unlock cheats. “He was the guy,” Cash remembered.

Most of us probably had a Bruno growing up. Back when you couldn’t pay $1.99 with Touch ID to unlock more gems or coins. Back when games were just as fun as mobile games are now, but also challenging and dependent on skill.

With Alto’s Adventure, out today in the App Store for $1.99, Cash and the rest of his team drew from the games they love to make something unique. They’ve created a game that’s not only really fun to play, but beautiful to behold. And unlike GoldenEye, there are no cheat codes to help you get ahead.

This little business printer is all your office needs

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This utilitarian black box has all you need and more. Photo: Rob LeFebvre/Cult of Mac
This utilitarian black box has all you need and more. Photo: Rob LeFebvre/Cult of Mac

The non-intuitively named Brother MFC-L2740DW multifunction black and white laser printer is ideal for that small office you have, you know the one. You’ve got all of a closet to put your desk, chair, Mac, printer, and maybe a small Bluetooth speaker, if you’re lucky.

What you need is a multifunction device that can get your documents scanned, printed and (if you’re still living in the 1990s) faxed without taking up a lot of space.

I brought this rectangular box of printing joy into my tiny home office, plugged it into the wall, added it to my Airport Wi-Fi network, and was printing from it within 10 minutes of taking it out of the box.

3 kiddie games that grown-ups will love

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LittleBigPlanet 3 is made of smiles. Photo: Sony
LittleBigPlanet 3 is made of smiles. Photo: Sony

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (read our review) isn’t the only adorable game we’ve had our eye on this month. An assortment of recently released and equally endearing titles are available on every platform you might own. And the best news is that they’re so good you don’t have to worry about anyone catching you playing them.

Here are three fun ways to get your cute on without anyone laughing at you.