The Apple Genius Training Manual Says You Can’t Use These Words

The Apple Genius Training Manual Says You Can’t Use These Words

What does it take to become an Apple Genius? You’d think the biggest requirement would be a lot of technical knowledge, but really it’s empathy and knowing how to talk to people. Geniuses are the face of the company when customers are the most pissed off at Apple, so great customer service skills are key.

Gizmodo just unearthed Apple’s official Genius Training Student Workbook and it’s oozing with secrets, like words a Genius can’t use to describe a problem.

On page 30 the manual explains that “AppleCare’s legal counsel has defined [these] terms that should be avoided when discussing product issues with customers.”

Did your computer crash? No, it “stops responding.” Never say crash.
What if some Apple software has a bug? Wrong: there’s an “issue,” “condition,” or simply “situation.”
You don’t “eliminate” a problem—you “reduce” it.
No Apple products are hot—at most they’re “warm.”

So even if an iPad gave a customer a third degree burn, all a Genius can say is, “That’s a bummer that your skin got fried off. iPads can get warm at times.” No sorries. No nada.

Apple tells Geniuses to focus on being empathetic, rather than being pushing customers to purchase something, so that customers feel great about themselves and are empowered, which will then lead them to buy iPhones 5s in record numbers. Head over to Gizmodo to learn more about what they found in the huge Apple training manual.

Related
  • Tallest_Skil

    Why would we ever want to go to the rump of the tech world that is Gizmodo? And why am I not surprised they’re the ones that leaked this?

  • BigLama

    wow.. now that i think about it. it makes sense hahaha

  • mr_bee

    A stupid article, about another stupid article that’s filled with stupid remarks, from stupid site Gizomodo!

    Anyone who’s ever worked in retail understands and deals with stuff like this every day. It’s basic customer management, it’s not unusual, and it’s not specific to Apple.

    The example you give of the burning skin is just ridiculous.

    No one with half a brain takes Gizmodo seriously on anything. They are a bunch of teenage punks with more attitude than smarts and have literally no inside information on the industry anymore, other than leaks from disgruntled retail employees (other teenage punks).

  • Russ Hughes

    Another quiet day in the COM office?

    This is common stuff, simply Apple doing what a thousand brands do and you report it like it’s an Al Qaeda plot.

    News please!

  • TheNetAvenger

    Lessons in Brainwashing

    “Feel”= Kinesthetic Manipulation – Emotionally Dishonest (People shouldn’t be conditioned to use emotional responses unless they are ‘feeling’ the emotion.)

    Apple has concealed ‘Crashes’ for years on Macs. No blue screen, just a quiet restart, the same way it handles crashing software, restart and try again.

    Dealing with Mac users that will proudly state their computer has never crashed. Yet they go on to ask questions like why their Mac spontaneously restarts to ‘refresh’ itself making them lose their work at odd times, or why Safari has ‘issues’ and stalls or restarts.

    Any non-Apple IT department that deals with Mac users can recite these stories on a daily basis. It also creates some really paradoxical situations where a computer novice will have a fit and attempt to school the IT staff if they explain to them that their ‘precious’ Mac actually is crashing, even be as bold to try to explain ‘kernel panic’. Instead it is usually something like: “Macs don’t crash, and you are horrible with computers, I want my Mac magically fixed to never restart when I’m working, blah blah blah” (Which is another reason IT people and enterprise avoid having Macs and Mac users employed like a plague.)

    Ironically, part of the PCA in Windows NT is based on the lies that Apple was doing with OS X, but instead of ‘fooling users’, Microsoft used the concept to make the OS solve and correct poorly coded calls in real-time. (This is why a third party Application that might crash on Windows, will stop crashing if it is ran a few times, as the OS is able to fix the poor coding by the developer, adding the corrections to the OS exceptions database.)

    So instead of ‘pretending’ nothing is wrong, the Windows attempts to fix the problem so that nothing is wrong.

    So in a weird way, Apple’s deception is why Windows 7 has a higher rate of stability than OS X. Thanks Apple for lying to your customers, the PC users appreciate it.

  • technochick

    I don’t see anything scandalous here. Words like crash, bug etc are vague. Geniuses can’t guarantee they fixed everything so they aren’t to promise or imply they can or did. Etc

  • technochick

    Another quiet day in the COM office?

    This is common stuff, simply Apple doing what a thousand brands do and you report it like it’s an Al Qaeda plot.

    News please!

    Al Qaeda reporting gets more page hits. And that is what they want. Irony is that they have accused Apple of putting money over quality, but they do the same thing with basically every ‘article’

  • technochick

    Why would we ever want to go to the rump of the tech world that is Gizmodo? And why am I not surprised they’re the ones that leaked this?

    You know Gizmodo, they can’t help themselves when someone leaves a prototype manual in a bar.

    At least this time they had enough sense to not admit how much they paid for it.

About the author

Buster HeinBuster Hein is Cult of Mac's Social Media Editor. Hailing from Roswell, New Mexico, but now spending his days in Phoenix, Arizona, he wastes most of his time eating burritos and reading Spanish romance novels. Twitter: @bst3r.

(sorry, you need Javascript to see this e-mail address)| Read more posts by .

Posted in News | Tagged: , , , |