Fake Steve’s Must-Read Take on Schmidt’s Board Resignation

Leander Kahney ()

jobs-squirrel-good-fellas

Fake Steve has a hilarious series of posts about Eric “Squirrel Boy” Schmidt’s resignation from Apple’s board. Much better than the real news and boring analysis. Starts with Squirrel Down! and continues:

“Eric, let me tell you something. After what you pulled here at Apple, no one will ever trust you again. You’re a dead man. Okay? You are the herpes of the tech industry. You lame-ass spy. You backstabbing, flack-fucking thief. You sat in our meetings and learned all of our secrets. You listened to our product development plans. Then you went off and copied our products and now you’re trying to fuck me in the ear with my own ideas.”

Then he goes on to detail the hilarious phone calls Steve has taken from wannabes looking to fill Schmidt’s empty seat, including Woz, Kara Swisher, Jon Shirley, Guy Kawasaki, Robert Scoble and Chris Anderson.

Worth reading in order to appreciate how the joke builds (I made the mistake of reading them backwards). Highlights are the Kawasaki and Anderson posts.

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About the author

Leander Kahney

is the editor and publisher of Cult of Mac, and author of three books about technology culture: Inside Steve’s Brain, the New York Times bestseller about Steve Jobs; Cult of Mac; and Cult of iPod. Leander has written for Wired, MacWeek, Scientific American, and The Guardian in London. Follow Leander on Twitter @lkahney and Facebook.

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Posted in Apple, Fake Steve, Humor |

  • CaryMG

    Non-New Yorkers SHOULD NOT DO ANYTHING REMOTELY CONNECTED WITH “GOODFELLAS”.

  • carter

    You are thick if you think internally Apple are pleased about this: Google Voice on the iPhone would be a winner for Apple in the long-term. We all know AT&T are behind this anyway. This just makes Apple look even more proprietary and ‘closed to openness’ as they ever have.

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