There’s a lot to like about the iPhone’s App Store. The more than 100,000 programs within its occasionally strict boundaries offer a bevy of experience riches unmatched in the mobile computing space. But it’s also frustrating. Great apps get postponed or blocked altogether, while great ones like Skype have key features removed.
All of this is nothing new. Mac bloggers talk about this all the time. But I think I’ve also pinpointed exactly why such minor complaints are so painful. It’s called the Entertainment Category of the App Store.
For those unfamiliar with its seedy contents, the Entertainment Category is sort of a catch-all for all kinds of applications that don’t have a good home elsewhere in the App Store. Here’s a chart I made to illustrate the problem:
Yes, despite the fact that the entertainment category does include some legit apps, some of which are great (Pocket God, Emoji, and Movies spring to mind), it is, for the most part, a giant blue Pac-Man of lame softcore porn devouring all in its path. And it’s impossible to find anything actually entertaining there. Which is a disaster. It’s a disincentive to develop something good (who can compete against Naughty Hotties?), and that means that it inevitably gets worse over time.
And, to be clear, this is porn for, and I don’t say this lightly, the stupidest people in America. Because in spite of Apple’s introduction of ratings for Apps, there is no nudity whatsoever in the App Store. So anyone hoping that purchasing “Pocket Girlfriend” will be like staying up late to watch Cinemax is in for a huge disappointment. And they are, consistently giving negative reviews too, which would be sad but understandable were it not for the fact that the iPhone — brace yourselves — can connect to the entire Internet. Which, I have heard said, contains the occasional birthday suit pictorial.
Who are these people that prop up this sad micro-industry? And why isn’t anyone protecting them from themselves? And protecting us from a never-ending tide of crapware? Honestly, there are times when the new releases list in Entertainment reads like a web browser history that would prompt an awkward conversation with your spouse. I’m no one’s prude, but it’s increasingly hard to envision just how this is a good use of App Store reviewers’ time.
At any rate, there can be only one solution: get rid of the Entertainment Category, replacing it with two or three more specific ones, like Movies, Humor, and Scans of Pretty Ladies from the Sears Catalog. Better still, allow category-specific blocking within the Store application so that users can browse for what they’re interested in, and nothing else. It’s quite clear that the overall seediness of the category is acting as a deterrent to developers, and that’s not good for any of us. Apple should find a way to create a true Red Light District so that great work like Photo Speak doesn’t get buried.
But that’s just one man’s opinion. One man who has never invested a $1 in purchasing Pocket Girlfriend, I should hasten to add. Seriously, Apple. Do something.
