Pete Mortensen - page 9

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of viewing “Art & Copy,” a new documentary about the best ad agencies on the planet, during the San Francisco Film Festival. It’s a wonderful film, full of great stories about the creative process and the origins of the 20th Century’s most memorable ads. Critically for Mac fans, this includes a brilliant blow-by-blow for how Apple’s amazing “1984” commercial was created, courtesy of TBWA Chiat-Day Chairman Lee Clow.

The clip itself isn’t available to embed, but what Clow says about “1984” — and then demonstrates in 1997’s “Think Different” — is worth remarking upon for anyone who has a long-term relationship with Apple. Clow says that the reason “1984” could be brilliant is that, first of all, he was given absolute creative freedom, second, Ridley Scott typified a new way of making movies that was just starting to take off in the U.S., and, most important, Apple actually had a revolutionary product and was aware of how revolutionary it was. When a great creative force gets a near-unlimited budget to promote a genuinely amazing product, it would be hard not to do so well.

Fascinatingly, Clow claims Apple’s board tried to kill “1984” right before it aired, at which point Jobs and Woz offered to split the cost of airing it in the Super Bowl — so it helps to have rich, passionate executives, too.

What’s interesting about looking back to “1984” and “Think Different,” both of which are considered in the film, is just how emotional they are. They make a profound appeal to people who feel like outsiders, rebels. Whether Apple ever really represented that feeling or not (I personally believe that it did), those spots went an incredible distance toward summing up what being a Mac user meant in the pre-iMac era. It meant everything, in a lot of ways. Pretty much any long-time Apple user will get misty watching either spot — or even talking about them.

That’s why the segment of the movie that shows Clow and his team working on iPod dance commercials in the present day was ultimately such a shock. Apple doesn’t make passionate ads any more. The emotion is gone. Apple makes cool ads — iPod dancers, Mac v. PC — and it makes educational ads — iPhone explanations, iPod touch as gaming system — but it no longer makes a real emotional appeal. Now, this transition is unquestionably more successful. But it does make me feel less a part of a movement. And that’s something I miss pretty much all the time.

I can’t recommend this film, which gets distributed in September, highly enough — nor that you click through the jump to watch “1984” and “Think Different.”

TUAW has the scoop on a very curious entry in the stats for Adium: a single user machine identified as the “MacBook Mini”. Now, this could easily be spoofed — last I checked the “Lenovo reModelFaMacBookAir” was not a computer — but on the other hand, it might be the very first appearance of the long-rumored Mac netbook.

After all, the very first place the name MacBook Air appeared was in the very same Adium stats. Only Apple knows what Apple is working on. But for now — we can dream.

“Dept. of deja vu: MacBookMini found in Adium stats” TUAW

In computer software circles, there’s a lot of discussion about the “10-foot UI,” designed for interactions from across a living room. Now that streaming video has truly come into its own, the space has exploded. Apple’s Front Row is a 10-foot app, as is Boxee.

But if you’re a Mac user, especially a Mac mini owner who keeps it hooked up to an HDTV, there’s only one choice: Plex Media Center, a Mac-only offshoot of the Xbox Media Center software. Basically, Plex pulls all of your content — whether on your hard drive, your network, your Tivo — and blends it with everything on the entire Internet, including Hulu, Pandora, BBC iPlayer, Netflix, and The Daily Show, then wraps it in a stunningly beautiful interface that makes it a snap to navigate all of the world’s video and music with arrow keys are a simple remote control. Better still, it’s an open architecture, and people are adding to it like crazy.

It’s been around as Plex since last July, but many of the best features, like the Netflix plug-in, are recent arriving in the last two weeks. What’s maybe most exciting is that Plex has plug-ins that the original XBMC application lacks. The Mac development community is passionate enough to dramatically improve their offering beyond other versions. Heck, it has its own App Store. And it’s 100 percent free, running on all Intel hardware running Leopard.

This is the media operating system of the future. Now, if they’d just release a companion remote application for iPhone, this thing would really take over the planet.

Thanks for the heads-up, Mike. This thing rocks!

Regardless of how much Steve Ballmer is cackling about Apple’s problems from charging a premium, the company’s performance suggests that the House That Steve Built is extremely well-adapted to thriving in the current recession.

Over the past three months, Apple enjoyed its best-ever non-holiday quarter. $8.16 billion in revenue, up 9 percent from last year. Profits of $1.2 billion, up 20 percent from a year ago. Apple beat consensus estimates by about 24 cents per share.

Mac sales did slow down a bit, but iPod sales were up 3 percent and iPhone sales an astounding 123 percent.  The company is delivering results like no one else right now. The fact that the analysts were so pessimistic (they predicted a drop in revenue and profit) should elevate the price further.

Remember — this is the first quarter without Steve Jobs in charge since his cancer treatments five years ago, and Apple did better than ever before. And we’re six to ten weeks from a new version of the iPhone. Apple is sitting pretty, and no one can touch them right now.

Steamroller, all over again.

I get asked a lot why I prefer Macs to PCs. Sometimes it’s from a Windows fan trying to pick a fight, sometimes it’s from a platform agnostic who’s interested why I care enough to choose. But the intent is the same — what makes you so passionate?

And after citing obvious reasons like the elegance of Apple’s hardware and software design or the way everything just works out of the box, I almost inevitably bring up something that seems to dull to get excited about: OS upgrades. Not that they happen, but that it’s always easy for me to know which edition of OS X to buy, and I never feel like Apple is needlessly squeezing pennies out of me by charging more for the features that make it worthwhile to upgrade. Leopard was Leopard. Snow Leopard will be Snow Leopard. Easy.

This is the opposite of the Windows experience, in which there will be seven (!) versions of Windows 7 to choose from, some of which are hopelessly crippled. The worst of these is Windows Starter, designed just for Netbooks.

We all know that the vast majority of personal computers run Windows, with a significant but smaller number using Linux and Mac OS X, and then teeny slices using other operating systems like Solaris and Amiga OS. What might not be so obvious is that Microsoft has become equally dominant in the new Netbook market, with Windows XP or Vista shipping on 95 percent of the tiny lappies compared to just five percent for Linux.

And Microsoft, sitting on top of a dominant market position in netbooks, is quickly formulating a plan to actively screw over their potential customers. In the fall (if they’re lucky) MS will roll out Windows 7, which, from my testing of it, is a lot like Vista without all of the most glaring problems. Alongside Windows 7 will be a version custom-designed for netbooks called “Windows 7 Starter,” which will, I swear to you, only be allowed to run three simultaneous applications and won’t feature the same UI as more expensive flavors of the OS. Those features are present — you’ll just need to pay Microsoft for an upgrade code to access them. So forget about running Word, Firefox, iTunes, and Outlook at the same time if you’re on Windows Starter.

Here’s why this is a brain-dead strategy. The only reason to get a Windows netbook is to run Windows applications. If you’re limited to only three apps at a time, it’s actually saner to use Cloud apps in a Web browser. And if you’re going to do that, it makes more sense to just go with Linux or another alternative. Starter is intended to make people want to buy the nicer versions of Windows 7. I think it’s net effect is more likely to be that people seriously consider alternatives.

And that’s why Apple’s dedication to making OS X available in just normal and server versions is one of the best decisions Steve Jobs has ever made. Apple has ignored the netbook market up until now, but it’s safe to say if Apple did release a netbook, it would be a premium offering at the high-end of the market and run a full version of Mac OS X. That’s just how Apple rolls.

For the most part, iPhone app marketing comes down to getting listed on the App Store and maybe creating a YouTube video in hopes that a Mac blogger will pick it up. But some software makers take it to the next level. Take Jason Jacobs, the man behind Run Keeper, a pretty nifty app that tracks running, cycling, and walking using iPhone 3G GPS. It’s a lot like the Nike+ software, but with more features, such as mapping.

Anyway, in order to get the app a big boost, Jacobs didn’t stick with a typical viral media campaign or an e-mail blast to bloggers. He’s taking it upon himself to prove the utility of his application, Which is why he’ll run the Boston Marathon today dressed as an iPhone. The costume, which he worked on with a social media marketing class at Emerson College, includes a lot of black lycra, so we can only hope it isn’t too warm in Beantown tomorrow. The video above goes through their process.

And hey — the New York Times wrote about it. That’s a successful campaign already. So long as he finishes.

Though we’re still about two months from the WWDC keynote and new iPhone hardware, that hasn’t stopped the most audacious maker of iPhone knock-offs, HiPhone, from creating a rip-off of the still unannounced iPhone nano. Yes, meet the HiPhone nano. On the outside, it looks like an ancient iPod mini, if only Apple had no taste in colors. And then it flips open and has both a touchscreen and a keypad — an ungainly keypad with tiny buttons, at that.

I don’t know what the iPhone nano will look like, when and if it ever arrives. I don know that Apple would never in a million years ship anything like this. Thank goodness.

Ubergizmo via Digg

Apple never, ever expresses battery life based on the number of cells that make it up. The ThinkPad I have at work is available with a 4, 6, and 9-cell option. And I have no idea what any of it means or why I should care. Apple just tells me how long I can work without a power source, which is what I actually care about.

The PC-makers just don’t get it.

Watching Microsoft try to strike back at Apple with the Laptop Hunters series of commercials is almost hilariously tragic. Inevitably, the “ordinary people” (actors) who star in the spots go in “open-minded”, which means they’re looking for a very cheap laptop with a huge screen, which is a category Apple obviously doesn’t offer. The latest entry, with “Lisa” and “Jackson,” finds the hunters dismissing Macs as “cute” while making ultimate gasface, before getting really excited about a Sony VAIO with a 16.4″ screen and a Blu-Ray drive. Excuse me, “Blu-RAYYYY!” Because, as we all know, there is nothing more important than being able to watch a movie at 1080p on a plane. That’s just a fact.
Honestly, it’s a relatively smart ad campaign, but you can practically envision the ad agency pitch meeting, in which the research department notes that Apple’s cheapest 17″ laptop is almost $3,000, while Dell, HP and the rest make really cheap 17″ laptops — critical vulnerability. Here’s the thing. Very, very few people like 17″ laptops. They’re huge, heavy, and really hard to fit onto a cafe table at a coffee shop. Far more people are happier with something small, light, and thin — which is why Netbooks are all the rage right now. Not to give Microsoft free advice or anything — or to do Crispin, Porter and Bogusky’s job for them — but this would be a way more effective ad campaign if they had their shoppers walk out with four Eee PC 904HAs and had some change left over. All this ad campaign is showing is that if you want to get a big, heavy laptop with lots of stickers from Intel and Nvidia plastered on the wrist rest, you want a PC.

Meanwhile, Netbooks are actually a market phenomenon, and they offer something that Apple hasn’t delivered yet. But why play up innovation when you can play up cheapness? I suppose that’s the core difference between Apple and MS, after all these years. Apple always makes a big deal out of quality and design. Microsoft tries to hook you with a killer low price.

(Also, in writing about Microsoft’s “comeback campaign,” BusinessWeek noted that this ad shows the family choosing a PC because it has Blu-Ray, “on which many games are printed.” Um… for PS3, maybe. Has anyone ever released a PC game on Blu-Ray as an option, let alone as an exclusive?)

Shaan Hurley, technology platform evangelist for AutoDesk, has thrown down a hint about a major software development for Mac OS X. The company’s AutoCAD software is a last of the “I have to use Windows, because I need Program X” applications, and moving it to Mac OS X could have major impacts for people working in industrial design, engineering, and architecture.

Hurley says he’s now using both Windows and a Mac, and he would love feedback in a survey to “help shape the future of the next generation of AutoCAD products for the Apple Mac OS X Operating System and hardware.” That’s promising. Even though this was posted on April 1, Hurley assures that this is no April Fool’s joke.

Any hardcore AutoCAD folks who would make the switch out there?

Via MacDailyNews

U2’s lead singer Bono recently revealed in an interview with a DJ in Toronto that his ego knows no bounds. The band’s quiet break-up with Apple in favor of first Palm and now RIM? Well, it’s all because Steve Jobs wouldn’t let him help out with the hardware and software design of the U2-branded iPod.

“[RIM] is going to give us what Apple wouldn’t — access to their labs and their people so we can do something really spectacular,” Bono told Alan Cross.

Hmm. While I’ve always been impressed with U2’s ability to design an experience, ala ZooTV and the PopMart Tour, I can’t say that I have any confidence that U2’s input could have in any way, shape, or form improved the iPod. I’ll trust Apple’s creatives more than U2’s…singer.

This collaboration has fail written all over it.

Globe and Mail via Electronista via Digg

Sean Kovacs brings word of GV Mobile, his new iPhone and iPod Touch client for the Google Mobile service, which should be available early next week. Google Voice is a remarkable service built on an old start-up called GrandCentral that Le Goog acquired a few years back. Basically, it allows you to consolidate all of your phone numbers to a single number, control who can call you, screen calls, listen in to voice mail as it records, send free text messages, and transcribe your voicemail. It can even allow people to dial your phone by clicking on a link on a web page. And since it initiates calls, not just placing them, iPod touch users can create a phone call to a different device!
And GV Mobile packs most of that into a handy-dandy iPhone OS app. The video’s pretty slick, and it seems to carry over most of what makes Google Voice so much fun. For now, it’s available only to those who had GrandCentral accounts and those who know folks at Google, but this should be a great companionreplacement to the main iPhone dialer once the service goes more mainstream. Now, if only the free SMS was two-way… no one would ever pay for AT&T’s overpriced SMS plans again…
9to5Mac via Gizmodo

Well, sorta. I think this project is going to be more about his acting.
Jimmy Kimmel via Gizmodo

It’s finally happened! Nearly six months after Apple took the wraps off its beautiful unibody MacBooks, a third party has finally shipped an adapter allowing direct hook-up to an HDMI display. I got my e-mail from Monoprice.com announcing the availability of the $14.25 part just a few minutes ago, and as you can see, it’s a box. With a Mini DisplayPort on one end and an HDMI port on the other. OK, so it’s not a super-cool gadget that I’ll flaunt in public. But it is a totally ideal way to get my MacBook hooked up to my HDTV. Now if only Apple had cared that was an obvious issue back when they released the MacBook in the first place…

Previously: I announce the rumor of the device’s arrival…

Image via San Jose Mercury News

UPDATE: Woz has made it through to round three without even having to be part of a dance-off! He wasn’t in the group of the worst two dance couples! Can you smell what the Woz is cookin’?

Quote: “That was the most incredible surprise. I was setting myself up to be so happy doing my dance again. When that came, my world turned in an instant”¦I was crying. I still have tears a little.”

We’re back! Woz is going on, and he pulled a hamstring! This is going to be good!

9:22 p.m. Woz, sporting a fauxhawk, is attempting a samba. He can barely walk.

9:23 p.m. As my wife notes, this is the only time he hasn’t had a feather boa.

9:24 p.m. Um. Woz just did the worm. Yeah, that worm. That was amazing.

9:24 p.m. The female judge is dissing on his worm. “You’re so cute, but the novelty is wearing thin.” Also: “You’re like the uncle at the party!”

9:25 p.m. Cranky old British man: “You’re meant to be killing the dance, but the dance is killing you.”

9:26 p.m. Bruno: “Steve, this was the worst samba I have seen in my whole life!”

9:26 p.m. Wozdom: “One thing I learned is that if you mix a samba with a little Smirnoff, you’ll end up in the hospital!” Smirnoff is the last name of his partner.

9:27 p.m. Woz got 10 points. That’s the lowest he’s gotten ever. Ouch. Woz remains committed to bringing his brand of entertainment to America.

9:30 p.m. And we’re outta here!

Hold onto your seats, ladies and gentlemen. Steve Wozniak is in a dance-off against former Go-Gos lead singer Belinda Carlisle, who apparently lost the beat at some point in her routine last week. Results imminently.

9:43 p.m. Belinda Carlisle just finished her routine with the world’s most awkward headstand/look-at-my-crotch! move I’ve ever seen.

9:44 p.m. And the judges hated it, just 17 points! Woz might live to fight another day!

9:49 p.m. AANNDDD…we’re BACK!

9:50 p.m. Steve’s going for the quickstep again! This is apparently quite gutsy. And his partner is giving a dull inspirational speech.

9:51 p.m. Steve just stole her feather boa! That’s a good start!

9:51 p.m. This feels worse than last night, actually.

9:52 p.m. It does seem a lot more energetic now that we’re getting to the end. Woz is obviously really tired out now, but he had a blast doing it…

9:52 p.m. Bruno admires Steve’s sunny disposition. But “You are NOT a good dancer; but I love watching you!”

9:52 p.m. Carrie-Ann: “I liked you were better tonight. You were smoother!”

9:53 p.m. Stuffy English judge is impressed that Steve danced at all. And notes he’s the “best for fun and entertainment.” Which is pretty good praise for the creator of the world’s first dial-a-joke service.

9:53 p.m. Debrief interview. Steve: “I just loved doing it the whole time.” If eliminated: “We were lucky enough to do it twice!”

9:54 p.m. It’s another 17! That’s a tie with Belinda Carlisle. If Steve got more audience votes, he stays! I have to imagine there are more geeks than Go-Gos fans.

10:00 p.m. Good lord that was a long ad break. This stupid show goes until 10:03 p.m.

10:01 p.m. Belinda Carlisle’s going home! Woz is still in! WOZ IS STILL IN!

10:01 p.m. That’s one surprised Apple founder.

10:01 p.m. Apparently, we’ll be back next week, folks…

Image copyright Engadget

Apple took the wraps off its iPhone OS 3.0 this morning, and it was a veritable smorgasbord of features that probably should have been included upon the initial release of the iPhone. Take a look:

• Cut, copy, and paste
• Spotlight search
• Note syncing
• MMS
• Landscape keyboard support in non-Safari apps
• Undo

I mean, seeing that list all together, it almost begins to feel remarkable that Apple made such a great device that was oddly lacking in fundamentals! Can you imagine if the original Mac had shipped without half the items in the Edit menu?

As I joked earlier on Twitter, the best headline for the day would be “Apple whips America into a frenzy by fixing iPhone’s most glaring omissions.” (And our friend Rob Beschizza actually used the thing.) People are unbelievably excited about cut, copy, and paste, for example. I actually went back 1,000 tweets from the time that the feature was announced, and I couldn’t get to the first mention of it on Twitter — at least 1,000 excited yelps about it within the first minute.

For cut, copy, and paste.

Think about that. No other company on earth could make a big deal of announcing a basic feature more than two years late. And that’s what makes Apple so awesome at what they do. They care so much about excellence — not just adequacy, but excellence — that they don’t release anything until it’s ready. They didn’t want to put out cut, copy, and paste until it was the most innovative version possible of same. Amazing.

For myself, I feel great as a late adopter this morning. I’ve said all along that I won’t buy an iPhone until I can get a 32 GB model, and I fully expect it to ship alongside OS 3.0 in late June. It’s taken more patience than I can express, but I’ll get a phone I can live with for at least two years if I continue to hold out. This is why it’s so hard to be passionate about Apple — you need to ignore it for many months or even years to get the perfect product. That’s what it took to get to last year’s MacBooks, and I’m damn sure it will be true for the third-generation iPhone released this summer…

Developers: Feel free to send us your anonymous impressions!

We’re apparently about 10 minutes away from Woz’s second dance here on the West Coast. Stay tuned in these parts for my coverage. But keep your eyes shut for awhile — I just had to witness Jewel’s cowboy husband quick-stepping to Tom Cochrane’s “Life is a Highway.”

NOTE FROM WOZ: “I had my new All Star sneakers on. They put suede on the bottom so that they can slide. The first time through they slipped twice so I stepped in some goo that helps. The next time through they only slipped once and just barely.”

I need Chuck Taylors with suede soles!

8:50 p.m.: Gymnast Shawn Johnson is being profiled in the world’s blandest behind-the-scenes segment. We’re almost to Woz! (Edit: Good lord, Shawn is orange!)

8:54 p.m.: Italian judge Bruno just announced that he would have liked Shawn’s routine to be more “notey.” I think. I think that over-tanning was plenty “notey” enough.

8:56 p.m.: We’re getting a flashback to Woz’s last week. He began by putting on a pair of plastic glasses held together with nerd tape.

8:56 p.m. Woz is dancing his heart out in rehearsal, still in black socks. And this caused him to break his foot! Doctor’s quote: “You’re crushing your foot.”

8:57 p.m. Woz will defy doctor’s orders and dance the quick-step! And he just flipped his partner over his back! And he has a ridiculous fifties hair.

8:58 p.m. Um…Woz, it’s called a “quick” step. That’s more of a stately step.

8:58 p.m. He’s picking it up a bit now, although he’s not really in sync with his partner. And there go the herky-jerky knee-hand wave! And he finished lying on the ground.

8:59 p.m. Kathy Griffin is in the audience! Awkward.

9:00 p.m. The judge likes Buddy Holly. He says America loves the antics.

9:00 p.m. LeeAnn, female judge, notes “I love watching you! Even when I’m saying, ‘What is he doing, why are they so far apart?'” She’s marking him down for lack of endurance.

9:01 p.m. Bruno: “Steve, you remind me of WALL*E! A bit rusty around the edges, in need of spare parts, but very resilient and incredibly charming.”

9:01 p.m. Steve, awkwardly: “Come down and dance with me!”

9:02 p.m. Post dance interview with host: “How is your foot, should you be dancing on it?” Steve: “I’ve only had one aspirin in five days; and I didn’t feel I ran out of steam.”

9:02 p.m. Final score: 17, an improvement of four from last week’s ludicrously low 13.

9:03 p.m. And that’s it, taking us out with a “judges been drinkin’!” joke from Tom Bergeron. Remember to vote!

https://abc.go.com/primetime/dancingwiththestars/index?pn=aboutthevote

When Apple unleashed the App Store, I made one of the world’s worst predictions. Over a slice of pizza, I told Dev Patnaik, with whom I was writing a book, that Apple would never permit non-iTunes music programs to show up on the iPhone. Too risky, might take away attention from the iTunes Store. “Even Pandora?” he asked. “Especially Pandora,” I said.
How wrong I was — the brilliant Pandora Radio for iPhone app, sporting iTunes integration, was released the very next day, and it has come to represent the random, serendipitous musical discovery Yin to the predictable, find-what-you’re-looking-for Yang of iTunes. It’s a must-have, and it has, by itself, made the iPhone and iPod touch dramatically better music players than the iPod ever was — in addition to being phenomenal portable computers.
As some measure of apology, I interviewed Pandora Radio founder Tim Westergen over at my other blog to find out what makes the company tick — and why its musical suggestions are so much more accurate than I’d expect any computer to ever be.

Q: There’s another side of this story that I’ve heard about, which is that to maintain the connection to the musicians you help promote, you actually hire a lot of musicians to work at Pandora. A: Yeah, the foundation of Pandora is this thing called the Music Genome Project, which is an enormous musical taxonomy. The thing about it is, it’s all hand-built. We have a team of about 35 working musicians, and they listen to songs all day and analyze what’s going on with them. For 9 years now, that’s become a pretty substantial number of artists.

Q: How many songs have been classified now?
A: A little over 600,000.

Pandora Radio’s made out of people! It’s people!!!

Read the full interview!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoiGJMZjs0o

Glorious. Just glorious.

Photo from Woz.org

Steve Wozniak on “Dancing with the Stars” is the greatest cultural event of the decade. As such, I’m plopped in front of the couch awaiting the Woz for the West Coast broadcast (I’m told we’re just three minutes away). Nicole told you how to vote, and I’m here to tell you how he did. Check out the blow-by-blow below!

9:15 p.m. I just endured a solid three minutes of Jewel’s cowboy husband not dancing. It was absurdly painful. He gets a total of 14 points.

9:18 p.m. There goes Olympic silver medalist Shawn Johnson. She’s being pulled around by a man who looks like the uglier brother of Mark from “Ugly Betty.”

9:23 p.m. Big points for Shawn! I guess! I’ve never watched this show before.

9:23 p.m. Woz just rolled in on a Segway in a cloud of smoke! There is a god.

9:24 p.m. Also, Tom Bergeron just said Woz founded Apple in the early ’70s. A factual error on first sentence.

9:24 p.m. Woz meets his dancing partner by rolling up on a Segway, too.

9:25 p.m. Woz really does not know how to dance, based on these rehearsal shots. Though he does notice that dancing can be mathematical and left-brained.

9:26 p.m. Words of Wozdom: “I like to close my eyes when I’m practicing, because it lets me get an image of my head of me dancing. It’s like I’m dreaming.”

9:27 p.m. “Nerds can dance.” No, Steve, they can’t.

9:27 p.m. Steve comes out with a giant pink feather boa and a tux. He’s actually got a lot of personality, although he might want to close his mouth. Still, he’s a natural ham. A lot of sticking his tongue out.

9:28 p.m. The song is “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.” Quite.

9:29 p.m. You know, by the standards of this show, that was very not embarassing.

9:29 p.m. Bergeron: “Take that, Bill Gates.” Also: “If Safari freezes, should I delete it or restart it?” Yes, because Woz has a lot to do with current Apple software.

9:30 p.m. Cranky Italian judge: “It was like watching a Teletubby going mad at the gay pride parade!” Well said.

9:30 p.m. Lady judge: “You are what this show is all about!” And “You made it to the end! It was fantastic!” It’s true. He didn’t once take a break or sit down.

9:31 p.m. Woz score coming after the ad. I have to say. He looks way more composed than his partner.

9:33 p.m. Here come the scores: 5, 4, and 4 for 13 total. Which means they did worse than Jewel’s stupid cowboy husband. Which is a serious miscarriage of justice. He was so much better than that guy! 

9:34 p.m. Empty headed-host: “You said that ballroom dancing is harder than designing computers. But you just got through that entire dance!” They really seem concerned about his ability to remain standing.

9:34 p.m. Woz: “That was the most incredible fun thing I’ve ever done. It’s so great. I’m so glad to be here!” More fun than pretending to date Kathy Griffin?

9:35 p.m. Dance partner Karina Smirnoff: “Honestly, he’s the nicest man alive, and he gives 100 percent in every rehearsal!” Well, he would have to give at least that much. He’s Woz.

9:36 p.m. And…it’s over. Please turn it off before David Alan Grier dances, and get your vote in now! (Just done with my 13 now; what a worthy cause!)

See you next week? Maybe?

Wasn’t it great to see Apple roll out a huge number and variety of new Macs and accessories on Tuesday without the benefit of Steve Jobs? The company’s culture and talent run deep, and Apple is in very capable hands with Tim Cook in charge. The new line-up is quite nice.

On the other hand, Tuesday’s announcements summed up and put the spotlight on the single-greatest opportunity that Apple isn’t capitalizing on right now: making the Mac mini the must-have living room computer of the century. WIth just a few small tweaks, the Mac mini would become the killer digital entertainment product the AppleTV aspires to be. No BluRay. No HDMI. Under-sized hard drive. No plans to offer monthly subscriptions for access to the video library. If the company took care of this stuff, hardware makers and content providers alike would be quaking in their boots at the thought of the Mac mini. But Apple left it out yesterday. Again.

To see why the company can’t see an opportunity that’s right in front of its face, click through.

I want to ask when the hurting will stop, but the first episode hasn’t even aired yet… This will be the best TV trainwreck of the year, without question.

CNET via Valleywag

The AppStore is filled with useless programs for iPhone and iPod touch. Sometimes, a truly special useless program emerges above the rest. Today, that’s AngryCat. A program that displays a picture of a wet cat, then plays angry cat noises and occasionally has it attack you when you try to touch it.

Now, you might think that this is meant for laughs. You would be wrong. This is a simulator to prepare you for inevitable angry cat attacks!

“Nonscientific studies have shown that 94.3% of all people are completely unprepared for an angry cat incident. For that reason, we created AngryCat – the Angry Cat Simulator.”

More:

“The best thing you can do when confronted with an angry cat is walk away (or, in some cases, bow and crawl backwards away slowly, acknowledging its supremacy).  This application is designed to simulate the effects of what happens when you do NOT do this.  Touching and moving an angry cat is a bad idea!  If you don’t believe us, try the app and see for yourself what can happen.”

Even funnier are the reviews it has garnered so far. Messiarnd gives it five stars and calls the program “hilarious,” while Famous_Original_Pmatt gives it one star and dubs it lame. He expected it to be more than a static picture of an angry cat. I think his expectations are too high.

The debate will rage on.

While most of the Mac blogosphere has been occupied with a certain other browser release, the OmniGroup, a stalwart of NeXT and OS X software development, has made four of its own previously commercial apps, including the very appealing OmniWeb browser, completely free of charge. The other applications in question are presentation improver OmniDazzle, useless file remover OmniDiskSweeper, and developer tool OmniObjectMeter.

Back years ago, pre-Safari and Firefox, my brother and I would debate constantly about which the best OS X browser. He said OmniWeb, and I always argued in favor of Chimera (which turned into Camino). The reasons were pretty clear. I was a college student and poor, and he was gainfully employed and could afford to pay for his browser. Also, I had a 12″ Powerbook, and he had a 17″ model, so the large amount of screen real estate needed to take advantage of all of OmniWeb’s cool features was no sweat for him.

A lot of time has passed since then, Camino has improved dramatically, and so has OmniWeb. I’m still no convert, but I’m more tempted than I have ever been. And free DiskSweeper! That’s awesome!

Hat tip: Gruber