Nothing quite solidifies an Apple product’s significance in pop culture like The Onion’s take. America’s satirical publication of note has already decided to give us a glimpse at the rumored Apple car.

The mysterious automotive project that’s reportedly codenamed “Titan” will have the following features:

Apple has added another two new channels to the Apple TV today in the form of Yahoo Screen and PBS. The former provides access to the Yahoo video portal, which delivers popular clips from shows such as Saturday Night Live and The Daily Show; while the latter allows users to enjoy their favorite PBS shows like Frontline.

There’s no Downton Abbey, though, unfortunately.

How many college-aged girls do you know running around with broken iPhone screens? 15? 20? All of them? It takes the average college girl like 2.37 days to shatter her new iPhone screen, or at least that’s the stereotype some choose to believe.

To make things easier for college girls, Apple is launching the iPhone 5C. It comes with a pre-shattered screen so all your friends think you live a wild and crazy life. It’s genius. It’s like buying pre-faded jeans. It’s also totally fake, but The Onion is on to something in their latest hilarious but fake news story that covered the launch of the fictitious device.

Here’s the video of the iPhone 5C’s launch:

Though we’re still several months away from the launch of either Mac OS X Snow Leopard or Microsoft’s Windows 7, America’s Finest News Source The Onion has already decoded the coming OS war in a handy chart, which you can read after the jump.

I have to say, I’m really impressed that MS is getting close to getting the spontaneous combustion thing under control. Dare to dream!