This morning, I slapped my parakeet on my shoulder, placed a patch over one eye, clamped a pipe between my teeth, tied one of my girlfriend’s scarves around her head, appropriated one of her blouses and wore it unbuttoned down to the waist and dusted off my early 90s parachute pants.

Why? Yarrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Sid Meier’s classic pirating simulation game, appropriately known as Sid Meier’s Pirates! is now available for the iPad.