You got a brand new baby. Congratulations. Your baby is probably the greatest thing ever. It probably even smells like love. Being a parents is amazing. I mean, I don’t really know what it’s like, but I imagine it’s pretty cool to watch a little person come out of another person and then raise it into a full-grown human like yourself and teach it cool ninja moves and stuff.
Now that you have your new baby you’re probably struggling with a name for it. All the cool ones are probably taken, and it doesn’t help that Beyonce and Jay-Z are doing pompous shit like trademarking their baby’s name. But please, PLEASE, don’t even think about naming your baby after an Apple product.