If you need more evidence that the luxury Swiss watchmakers are as truly screwed as Jony Ive predicted, look no further than IWC’s laughable answer for keeping up with the Apple Watch.

The luxury watch company is adding a smart sensor called IWC Connect to the strap of its Big Pilot watch, a favorite of horologist collectors including John Mayer. Details on what the fitness sensor can actually do haven’t been revealed, but IWC created a ridiculously dramatic teaser trailer for the new strap that you can watch below:

John Mayer is world renowned for his skill at plucking strings on a guitar while singing breathy love lyrics. He’s also well known as a lover of expensive mechanical watches, but when it comes to the future of wrist wear, Mayer admits pretty much everyone’s just going to buy an Apple Watch now.

“We’re all going to end up with the Apple Watch, I don’t care what you say,” says Mayer. “Even if you have to wear it on your right hand.”

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Apple has today launched a Back to School iTunes music sale with selected albums reduced to as little as $6.99. The deals aim to give students “a smart deal on cool albums” from the likes of Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Pink, and Lana Del Rey.

I’m undoubtedly the least musically inclined person I know, which makes me furiously jealous as I watch my guitar playing friends pick up a guitar and serenade girls à la John Mayer. I need to learn how to play guitar, which is why I’m excited about this new iPad guitar accessory we came across at CES.  Ion Audio, makers of the iCade iPad arcade machine, unveiled their newest accessory that helps users perfect their guitar shredding chops on the iPad, so that even those of us without musical talent can look cool playing guitar.