funny - page 3

At long last, ladies and gentlemen, after all these years of waiting, we finally have it: an app that puts cheese on your head.

Other folks have been waiting for Duke Nukem Forever, or for a 15-inch MacBook Air, or for democracy in their dictatorships, or even for basic stuff like world peace and an end to disease. Oh, and flying cars, people are still waiting for those.

But for the rest of us – for those of us who have longed for an app that puts cheese on our head – the waiting is over. iCheeseHead fulfils all our virtual cheese-on-head needs, and costs less than most real cheese.

Rupert Murdoch can keep his $30 million iPad newspaper. We can all have cheese on our heads now, and nothing else matters.

It’s a problem I’m sure you’ll be familiar with: whenever you want to take a picture of your cat, said cat suddenly becomes utterly disinterested in you and everything you stand for.

Will the cat humor you, and turn its face to the camera? Will it hell.

What you need in situations like this is Cat Camera, the camera app that makes a reasonable stab at meeowing like a cat, in the hope that this provocative sound will make your cat turn its head in the right direction. It’s a bit basic and rather buggy, but hey, it’s a start.

I tried it on my neighbour’s cat, it still continued to ignore the hell out of me, despite Cat Camera’s fake meeowings:

Your milage, as well as your cats, may vary.

It’s not the first of its kind, but LCARS Reader could be the iPad app of every Star Trek fan’s dreams.

So this is what happens when you open FaceTime on your Mac, use it to call FaceTime on your iPhone, and then point the camera on one towards the camera on the other: infinite FaceTime!

Coming soon: infinite FaceTime inside infinite screensharing. Go on, I dare you.

This dream is collapsing. As long as we’ve got the timings right, we can ride the wake-ups all the way back to the real world.

Remember Kuato, the stomach-dwelling mutant from Total Recall? Of course you do.