Fake Steve Jobs - page 2

It’s no news that The Secret Diary of Fake Steve Jobs is off-line after what has to be one of the most entertaining runs in recent memory.  That said those of you longing for just one more dose of dry wit and satire FSJ-style need wait no longer.

Dan Lyons, the creative genius behind FSJ has opened another blog — this time in his own name.  Personally, I find it even funnier now that doesn’t have  to voice his satire through the mask of FSJ and can just be himself.

Dan’s new blog can be found at: https://realdanlyons.com/blog/

Former Forbes writer Daniel Lyons, uncovered last year by The New York Times as the man behind the blog The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs, posted news today that his often hilarious and always outrageous character “Fake Steve Jobs” is sailing into the sunset.

Lyons wrote “Fake Steve is not really going away. He’s just taking on a new form.” But in a fashion true to form, the post left threads untied and destinations open to the imagination. Lyons begins work as a Newsweek columnist in the fall and is publishing a novel inspired by his work on the blog, according to a post today in the Times’ Technology blog.

Leigh looks over at fellow consultant Pete M., “if this is true, buddy, we’re going to be RICH! RICH beyond our wildest dreams…”

Fake Steve, in a recent story, referred to an article by Dev Corvin, which was breaking news about the forthcoming Windows 7 (which has moved its ship date up to 2009 as a result of the spectacular results Vista has demonstrated in the market…). Found amid the usual Windows blah-blah-blah, which I suffer through so you don’t have to, was this tasty quote:

Dev Corvin, thebetaguy.com :

Windows 7 takes a different approach to the componentization and backwards compatibility issues; in short, it doesn’t think about them at all. Windows 7 will be a from-the-ground-up packaging of the Windows codebase; partially source, but not binary compatible with previous versions of Windows.

Now I didn’t just take FSJ and this Dev guy’s word for it, I employed minimalist “journalistic” research and went ahead and Googled “Windows 7” “Not Backwards Compatible”, which yeilded some 1.8 million hits.

This has me literally giddy with anticipation, see I am a consultant, which my mom thinks is code for being unemployed, and about 55% of my firm’s business world-wide is Microsoft-related. I have half a mind to switch practices from Strategy and Transformation to MS (though those practitioners do look hostilely at my Blackberry let alone my Macbook Pro).

In short, fixing all that broken .NET code out there in corporate America will be tantamount to the Y2K effort 10 years ago; a license to print money for consultants. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you Bill.

Now why should anybody who reads Cult of Mac care about this, other than some kind of surrogate pleasure to be gained from my anticipated financial success?

Because, friends, Microsoft’s lock on corporate IT has every everything to do with backwards compatibility. Should Redmond choose to proceed with this folly, our ranks (of Mac loyalists) are destined to swell such that I might have to consider something other than my MB Pro to make me cool and hip in the eyes of our college hires (as-if… might I suggest a really expensive (and thus exclusive) accessory, like a tablet. –ed)

Hey, remember the late 1990s? It was a heady time of rap-rock records, resurgent sci-fi epics, and, most importantly, the photo mosaic, an art form where computer artists take hundreds of tiny images and make a vaguely unsettling and blurry bigger picture.

Now we can take a trip back courtesy of Charis Tevis, a graphic artist commissioned by Fortune for its recent cover story on the iCEO. The rad image (click through to see it in all its glory) basically builds Steve Jobs out of the full portfolio of Apple products.

He’s got a lot of others on his Flickr account, including another image of Steve and one of Barack Obama.

Charis Tevis via Gizmodo

My two favorite tech news sites — Gizmodo and Ars Technica — are hosting a pre-keynote party in San Francisco on Monday night (the 14th) at Harlot, 46 Minna Street. 8-11.30pm.

Giz editor Brian Lam is promising to buy everyone a beer, and there’s schwag (likely shite) for early birds. I’ll be there, and so apparently will Dan Lyons, aka Fake Steve.

Here’s a handy map to the bar.

UPDATE: I just discovered that the free schwag are copies of my books. Ooops.

Fake Steve points us to a provocative Discover Magazine commentary by technology visionary Jaron Lanier, best known for putting the virtual reality bug in everybody’s ears at TED II way back in the ’80s. Lanier argues emphatically that open-source software doesn’t automatically yield creativity or innovation.

Twenty-five years later, that concern seems to have been justified. Open wisdom-of-crowds software movements have become influential, but they haven’t promoted the kind of radical creativity I love most in computer science. If anything, they’ve been hindrances. Some of the youngest, brightest minds have been trapped in a 1970s intellectual framework because they are hypnotized into accepting old software designs as if they were facts of nature. Linux is a superbly polished copy of an antique, shinier than the original, perhaps, but still defined by it.

I think he’s mostly right, although it’s worth noting that many of the works of art in software that he speaks of were built on the backs of open-source software. For example, the iPhone runs on the Mach Kernel, which is open-source, and then OS X BSD above that, all available in Darwin and featuring contributions from the open-dev community.

What Lanier speaks to instead is that different methods are suited best to different kinds of innovation. Vision-driven projects plotting new directions in interface design, radical improvements and others are best served in proprietary contexts. Under-the-hood improvements and refinement can be driven quite effectively through the work of open communities. This is something that Apple has demonstrated for a long time — it’s very hard to come up with the right questions to ask. It’s relatively easy to answer them once asked. Apple and other proprietary visionaries cited by Lanier are asking the right questions. The open-sourcers answer well-known questions that have bubbled up for years. It’s incremental improvement, but no less critical for the future of software and hardware development.

The revamped Spaceship Earth ride at Disney’s Epcot Center has a special “Steve Jobs section,” according to the lifthill blog, which tracks news about rides and roller coasters, and was invited to a special preview.

But once at the Steve Jobs area, which is supposed to depict the birth of Apple computer in a garage, the lifthill blogger noticed that the lone figure in the garage looked a lot more like Wozniak than Jobs.

The figure is facing the wrong way, so it’s hard to tell, but it’s wearing the same shirt as Wozniak in a famous early photograph copied below, and has similar hair and beard. Conspriacy theorists note that Jobs is the single largest shareholder in Disney– but I can’t believe he cares that a section of Epcot bears his name or likeness (or not).

Anyway, there’s no second figure in sight, so one of them is slighted. And so too is the third Apple-founder, Ron Wayne, but no one cares about that.

But what is that thing the dummy Woz/Jobs is sitting in front of? It ain’t no Apple I or II — the first and only machines Woz created more or less single-handed. It looks like a big wooden Mac, but none of the Mac prototypes looked like that — they were much more finished.

Higher-res pictures at lifthill.

Via Boingboing.

Not content to chronicle the fake life of Fake Steve Jobs, author Daniel Lyons has expanded his scope a bit this week by introducing guest blogger Fake Bono of U2, who showed up to present the totally non-existent White Beatles and Product (RED) U2 iPhones. The Beatles model comes with the complete Beatles catalog, plus the band’s solo work, and the U2 model comes with all of Rock and Roll. Read for yourself:

Edge and I hate to be left behind, so we’ve come up with an even bigger idea we’re going to pitch right here where Steve has to read it. Why just buy the Beatles? What you really want is to buy rock and roll. All of it. Presenting the U2 Rock and Roll iPhone. 64 gigabytes of Product (RED) iPhone packed with all of rock and roll. Beatles, Stones, Zeppelin, Sabbath, U2 of course, plus Nirvana and Pearl Jam all the way up to the complete Arcade Fire and Mike Doughty. If it rocks, it’s in here.

Yeah. Seven posts in all, and now Fake Steve has posted an elaborate tale of account hackery to explain how Bono seized control in the first place. All in good fun. Nice Thanksgiving prank.

Via iPhone Savior 

Is there anything more re-assuring in life than knowing that Fake Steve keeps being funny even after the disclosure of his true identity? He’s now featuring simply hysterical Zune 2 parodies with custom backs poking fun at Microsoft and a certain dancing CEO…

Having spent a lot of time on Twitter (You can follow my goings-on there for up-to-the-second mac thoughts) now, I’m starting to get a sense of the community. As I poked around, I found that the micro-blogging community (or “Presence” app, to be buzz-wordy) is full of people posing as Steve Jobs — 7 in all. Consider this post the official guide to the Many Steves of Twitter.

1. Fake “Fake Steve Jobs”
Seen above, an earlier Twitterer claimed the territory of the web’s most famous fake CEO in micro form — only he’s obviously not the real Fake Steve Jobs — he isn’t half the writer of the genuine artificial article: ” Backstage – having some probs with the Powerpoint to Keynote file convertor. I wonder if they notice if we used Powerpoint (on Vista…hmmm)” Pathetic.

For the rest of the list, read on…

Check it out, folks. Though it tastes like Steve’s iLeftovers, the rap in the middle of this clip of “Viking Webcam” is oddly addictive.

Britney’s Gut. Britney’s Gut.

Via Fake Steve.

Silicon Valley Socialite Om Malik reports that the good people of Yahoo! were recently inspired by none other than Steve Jobs himself:

He told the gathering of 300-odd Yahoo (YHOO) vice presidents that they can do anything. The company with one of the largest Internet user bases can do and achieve anything, he apparently told them. (I am channeling a handful of VPs.) He talked about how Apple (AAPL) was down on its luck and made a comeback. Yahooligans were pretty inspired! Now if they made more of their products Mac friendly!

Malik promises more detail on Steve’s speech soon, but in the meantime, ponder this: Yahoo has 300 VICE-PRESIDENTS! No wonder they need motivation from Steve. Stay tuned — this is a very interesting development. Yahoo and Apple are much friendlier than they were a year ago… Steve doesn’t do motivational speaking for just anyone. It’s always as a personal favor.

It’s late July. Do you know who Fake Steve is yet? According to buzz on the web today, a new top candidate has emerged as the fake iCEO, and this one’s actually plausible.

Some clever dudes at Sitening created a tracker link to a fairly lame iPhone haiku, trusting that Fake Steve would take the bait. He did, and they traced it to a Boston IP address. That points to Andy Ihnatko so far as the Sitening guys are concerned (and most of the rest of the commenters). It’s also consistent with previous accusations, including one from Fake Steve Ballmer.

What’s my take? Well, it makes sense, if nothing else. I can’t think of many people I would call “Macintosh Humorists,” but Andy is one of them. His old MacWorld columns were a hoot, and I learned many key phrases from him, including “web that smut!”

On the other hand, I don’t actually ever want to know who Fake Steve is – his anonymity makes him powerful, and even leaves open the possibility it’s actually Real Steve (it’s the perfect cover!). Unfortunately, we probably will know, and soon, and the fun will be gone.

This all makes me think of Mac the Knife, the weekly rumor columnist for MacWeek back in the day. No one ever copped to penning the column, which was the best in the business at its time. There’s a prevailing rumor that former editor Matthew Rothenberg was MtK, but it’s never really been proven. And that’s powerful. We’re in a different era now, but it makes me nostalgic for a time when the silent crusader could remain silent.

But Andy, if it’s you? You’ve been doing a great job. Keep up the good work – or get John Mackey to do it for you.

Via Apple 2.0.