The next Apple Watch could empty my pockets — in a good way

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Hopefully I won't have to carry this stuff around with me thanks to Apple Watch Series 3
Hopefully I won't need to carry this stuff around after Apple Watch Series 3 arrives.
Photo: Graham Bower/Cult of Mac

The latest rumors about the next-generation Apple Watch indicate it might come with LTE cellular data in a slick new design. But Apple Watch already offers data connectivity via iPhone, and Cupertino’s marketing tends to focus on benefits, not features. So how will Apple craft a new product story around built-in cellular?

My guess is it will all be about replacing the need for a very old technology: pockets. Apple Watch Series 3 will move all the contents of our pockets into the cloud.

Today in Apple history: Apple’s war with IBM commences

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IBM PC 5150: The IBM Personal Computer
This unassuming IBM Personal Computer started the Apple versus PC feud.
Photo: Boffy B/Wikipedia CC

August 12 Today in Apple history August 12, 1981: The launch of the IBM Personal Computer ignites the long-running Apple-versus-PC rivalry.

Secure in the Apple II’s technical superiority over the new PC, Apple welcomes IBM to the personal computing party in the pages of The Wall Street Journal. Things won’t stay positive for long.

Today in Apple history: Apple pays $15 million to promote Mission: Impossible

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Sadly, Apple's Mission: Impossible deal doesn't quite work out as planned.
Sadly it doesn't quite work out as planned.
Photo: Paramount

April 18: Today in Apple History April 18, 1996: Apple unveils a massive $15 million promotional tie-in for the Mission: Impossible movie starring Tom Cruise.

Designed to promote the PowerBook, which Cruise uses in the spy flick, the marketing campaign comes at a particularly bad time. With Apple attempting to climb back into the black after reporting its largest quarterly loss ever, the company is in the middle of trying to perform its very own impossible mission. And that’s just the start of the problems.

Apple erects giant display worth $1.5 million in ‘next-gen’ retail store

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AppleStore_7
Apple Stores just got a bit more spectacular.
Photo: Photo: Ste Smith/Cult of Mac

Whether it’s adding tree-lined avenues or high-tech display tables for showing off the Apple Watch or iPhone, the design of the Apple Store is constantly changing.

The latest innovation is a giant floor-to-ceiling television display, which can be seen at Apple’s new Saddle Creek Store in Germantown, Tennessee.

And you thought the 12.9-inch iPad Pro had a big screen!

Apple Watch apps kinda suck, but Cupertino hopes you won’t notice

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watch bands march 21 apple event
Apple Watch apps were conspicuous in their absence at this week's Apple event.
Photo: Apple

At this week’s “Let us loop you in” keynote, Apple revealed a major shift in its smartwatch strategy. Tim Cook tried to dress it up by announcing new Apple Watch bands and a price drop, but the most significant aspect was what he did not say: There was no mention of third-party Watch apps.

After Monday’s keynote, Apple updated its website with a new marketing proposition that represents a tacit acknowledgment that, right now, Apple Watch is only good for three things: notifications, fitness and health.

What happened to the idea that there is an app for everything?

What Apple product launches say about Tim Cook’s leadership

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Tim Cook Apple March 21 event
Under Tim Cook's leadership, Apple is innovating in a new way.
Photo: Apple

A cynic would call it greenwashing, but the most surprising thing about Tim Cook’s “Loop you in” event was what it said about how he’s running Apple.

When Steve Jobs was around, Apple’s product events were about the products, and little else. Yeah, Jobs would often start with corporate issues, but he usually boasted about how the company was absolutely crushing it.

By contrast, the first 25 minutes of Monday’s event — almost half of the hour-long presentation — focused on things only tangentially related to Apple products. Cook and his lieutenants discussed government snooping, privacy, recycling, the environment, renewable energy, creating platforms for sustaining customers’ health — and even protecting Chinese yaks.

Jobs used to touch on issues like these, but under Cook, they’ve taken center stage. Cook has turned Apple’s product events into showcases for corporate responsibility.

Borat creator uses hilarious Apple parody to promote new movie

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Screen Shot 2016-03-09 at 12.08.32
Look familiar?
Photo: The Brothers Grimsby

Parodies of Jony Ive and Apple’s rarefied advertising are nothing new, but you rarely get to watch a spoof featuring a comedian as talented as Sacha Baron Cohen.

To promote his new movie The Brothers Grimsby, the creator of Ali G, Bruno and Borat recorded a spot-on Apple parody, which shows that — despite the many who have aped it in the past — there’s still mileage in poking some good-natured fun at Apple’s way of selling us on its latest revolutionary products.

Check it out below.

What iPhone 6s ads designed in MacPaint would look like

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What would ads for iPhone look like if it came out in 1985?
What would ads for iPhone look like if it came out in 1985?
Photo: Apple

Apple’s marketing team creates gorgeous ads that show every minuscule detail of new iPhones, but what would the images look like if they were produced using the original Macintosh and MacPaint?

Some redditor with way too much time on his or her hands decided to dig out an old Mac and find out, and the results are actually pretty fantastic.

Bullet, the ‘tiniest flashlight on Kickstarter,’ blows away its target

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The tiny Bullet is sorta like the 12-inch MacBook of LED flashlights.
The tiny Bullet is sorta like the 12-inch MacBook of LED flashlights.
Photo: Slughaus

The makers of a tiny (but badass!) new LED flashlight say they took inspiration from the 9mm bullet, but Apple’s incessant drive toward miniaturization seems at least as much of an influence.

You can almost hear the dulcet tones of Jony Ive’s voice in the description of the Bullet, which its maker calls “the tiniest flashlight on Kickstarter.”