‘Catastrophe theory’ explains MacBook Pro backlash

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Apple's 2016 MacBook Pros, which Apple fans hate.
Apple's 2016 MacBook Pros, which Apple fans hate.

Apple’s launch of the new MacBook Pros prompted a surprisingly virulent backlash — one that can be explained by “catastrophe theory” in mathematics.

Normally, reaction to Apple’s new products is remarkably consistent. Apple loyalists are pleased, the wider public approves and the tech press cynically dismisses the new products (because they hold Apple to a higher standard than the rest of the industry).

This time, it was different. There was a very loud and very negative reaction. The negativity came not from the tech press, but from the most loyal and ardent Mac enthusiasts. The very people who evangelize Apple products and who are deeply invested in the whole ecosystem were the ones most vocally expressing disappointment, frustration and outright anger.  

So what exactly happened? What was so bad about these new machines to provoke this reaction?

As best as I can tell, the answer is nothing at all.