Every wearable maker out there right now is trying to figure out how they’re going to compete with the Apple Watch once it lands. Leave it to adult website Pornhub to actually figure it out: It’s just unveiled a tongue-in-cheek concept for a wearable band that would allow you to charge your other gadgets using the power of masturbation.
Naturally, it’s called the Wankband, and Pornhub calls it “the first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.”
“Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment,” Pornhub goes on. “At Pornhub we decided to do something about it.”
While you might dismiss the Wankband as a big joke, it is technically plausible. Pornhub posits that its masturbatory concept would work by enclosing a small weight inside a wristband. As you jerk your wrist — and, er, other parts — the weight would bounce back and forth between two coils, and built-in tech would then translate this kinetic motion into electrical power.
In other words, it’s not that different from the tech watchmakers use inside self-winding watches. Once the power was generated, it would be stored inside a battery in the Wankband. A row of illuminated bars on the face of the Wankband would say how much power you’d stored; the energy could then be used to power other gadgets like your iPhone or iPad.
“We’re going to show men how to save the planet by doing what they do best,” says Pornhub.
Sure, it’s a gag, but it does make you wonder how long it’ll be before we see the first masturbation-tracking app on the Apple Watch. After all, it does have the necessary accelerometer!